Scott Disick Is Being A Real Disickhead (I’ll Let Myself Out)

For a brief moment, it looked like Scott Disick and Kourtney Kardashian were getting back together for reasons that were totally his criminally large penis. Except at the end of the day, he’s still Scott Disick, so naturally he managed to skeeve his way into being disinvited from the family vacation, only to worm his way back in and fuck things up all over again. TMZ reports:

Sources close to Scott tell us … he secretly flew a girl to Costa Rica — where the Kardashians were filming their show — and put her up at a hotel where the crew was staying. It’s pretty clear … the Kardashians didn’t want an interloper while they filmed, so Scott tried to keep it on the QT.
We’re told someone from the crew ratted Scott out, telling Kris and Kim about Scott’s muse. Our sources say Kim and Kris had a ferocious argument with Scott.

And just in case it isn’t depressing enough that Scott Disick gets so many chicks, he literally carts them around like sexable luggage, he flew straight to Miami where he openly proceeded to plow through a different model each day.

Scott cozied up to a blonde Tuesday at the Setai Hotel, the day after he was chilling in exact same spot with a different woman.
We broke the story … Scott’s fling with model J Lynne was temporary — as in 24 hours. With his one-and-done policy in place … expect to see a new face butt next to him tomorrow.

Keep in mind, the headline for that article is “Scott Disick Changing Hot Chicks in Miami Like You Change Underwear.” In fact, if you Google his name, all you’ll see is article after article saying basically the same thing, which is incredible because you know this is happening:

“Hi, I’m Scott Disick.”
“Should I know you?”
“Ha! This chick doesn’t know who I am. Go ahead. Google me.”

*sees 800 headlines that say “He will bang you and dump you the next day, yes you, the one reading this”*

“Ohmygod, you know Kim Kardashian?! Will you be my boyfriend?!”

And… sex stuff.

This has been another edition of There’s No Fucking Way God Exists © 2017

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