Scary Spice taking Eddie Murphy to court

May 2nd, 2007 // 50 Comments

Scary Spice Melanie Brown says she’s taking Eddie Murphy to court to force him to take a paternity test. She tells People:

“He’s not doing a DNA test and he’s not signing the birth certificate. So it’s going to have to go to court so he can be forced to do it, which is strange since he was the one asking for it.”

I’d refuse a DNA test too if it proved I had sex with this thing. If there was a way to get another woman pregnant by making out with your own mom, I’d rather admit to that than to having sex with Scary Spice.



  1. UCSD

    making out with own mom, wow

  2. Conky

    She wants half, Eddie!

    Scary indeed.

  3. TurdFerguson

    Scary Spice is damn right. Murphy must be sucking up the coke like a dirt devil.

  4. Plastic Sturgeon

    Eddie Murphy was obviously better off paying the tranny hookers on Sunset Boulevard.

    At least they look better, and are incapable of getting preggers.

  5. ToiletDuck

    Ohy my God, my Progresso Chicken Noodle Soup and Kraft Macaroni and cheese I had for lunch is now on my keyboard….

    This photo is the reason that men sleep with each other –

  6. NicotineEyePatch

    Please. You know for sure he banged Scary. He’s just pissed because she turned out to be a woman. Trannies are a safer bet, note how no other anonymous ‘women’ got knocked up by him.

  7. ToiletDuck

    Bleah – I wonder if she looked any better during the conception…

    I would have just jerked off, threw it at her, and called it a day…

  8. honeycombs_big_yeahyeahyeah!

    I wish, I wish, I wish you needed a license to procreate.

    Ideally there should be no need for paternity tests, but we live in a world without scruples, and a surplus of Slutty McSluttingtons.

    *adjusts petticoats and frowns disapprovingly in the world’s general direction**

  9. I … don’t … know … what … wow.

  10. Jimbo ?

    Fuck you would have to take me to court to prove that I fucked something that scary. Eddie deserves to have his dick removed

  11. p0nk

    eddie deserves an award for assisting the continuance of the otherwise endangered sasquatch species. But not necessarily an award for brains or taste.

  12. ToiletDuck

    I suppose also, that one could simply cum on her feet and let the flies do the work for you, rather than sully the penis by inserting it into something so fucking hideous….but I suppose crack cocaine may be the new Viagra…

  13. Wow, look at the booty on her! Looks like she is pregnant in the front and the rear.

    She must be eating good, cause she is eating for two, maybe five.


  14. jamie

    She looks good in some of her pics.

  15. MadRavingStark

    Scary Spice as the Mother
    Eddie “Tranni Loving” Murphy as the father

    I got ten bucks that says this kid is going to knock Rumor Willis out of the top spot as the Worlds Ugliest Celebakid

  16. Victor Ward

    Eddie’s defense was that he was ‘wookin’ pah nub in aw da wong paces.’

  17. Binky

    Scary is just preparing Eddie for his new movie – ‘Nightmare Girls’

  18. ToiletDuck

    This is a great case for anal sex as a viable form of birth control….

  19. ToiletDuck

    Here is a short film of what the baby will look like…follow this link and enjoy…

  20. kellygirl57

    LOL @ #16

  21. Plastic Sturgeon

    @#16 That was brilliant.

  22. #16 lol i never thought i’d find another person that tolcks lyke mi.

    man, i finally showed this pic to my neice and said “this restaurant pig will get you if you’re not a good little girl.” first she screamed, but she’s a good little girl.

  23. .
    Oh Please, Eddie said that he wuold wait for the paternity test. Well Eddie, ya little bitch, nows your chance, so take it. Hell, if people actually sat through The Adventures of Pluto Nash without dying you can give a saliva sample.

  24. ToiletDuck

    Maybe he could the placenta on Oprah…

  25. woodhorse

    maybe they should go on the Jerry Springer show…

  26. ToiletDuck

    EAT the placenta – jeez, I cannot type today…

  27. ToiletDuck

    I hope Eddie doesn’t go on Oprah and start jumping on the sofa – this bitch’s cooch can’t even come close to Katie Holmes’…

  28. janie

    Hey, maybe Im the only one here who defends her but this is just an awesomely bad photo. I think normally she looks better. At least she was okay as a Spice Girl. And this is how she looks after having sex with Donkey. Or maybe Shrek himself.

  29. Thomas the Wrapper

    Weird that a transvestite can get pregnant. Maybe post-op. Scary Splice.

  30. ToiletDuck

    #28 – I agree, but I think the only photo that would make her look good is where she is posing with her ankles behind her ears…

  31. LoneWolf

    He’s not taking the test because he knows he’s probably the father. Kind of like the reason Howard K. Stern *wouldn’t* take the test – because he knew he probably wasn’t the father.

    This picture would be a lot more relevant if she hadn’t whelped a month ago.

  32. pana1718

    WTF? EDDY MURPHY? and WTH happened to her?!?!?!

  33. XeoRad

    Right – I thought he was into tranny hookers. She must have used a strap-on. Are any of the former Spice Girls even normal? You have Pig-nosed Posh, Tranny Scary, Lezbo Sporty, Fat Ginger and WTF is up with the Baby Spice? Maybe she’s trying to resurect a career based on a complete lack of talent. No, sorry, that’s Posh who’s doing that. All the Tom Cruise connections, mega-rich husband’s money can’t help there. BTW, TCLTC!!!!!!!!!!!

  34. Doesn’t surprise me about Eddie..isn’t he the dick that was caught with a guy dressed as a girl prostitute a while back?

  35. here

    I was just thinking of what a person would look like if they were cut in half with a table saw, their torso were moved forward about 12 inches, and then the whole thing was sewn together again. From a side view, it apparently would appear to add 12 inches to their ass. Good luck, Eddie.

  36. cm

    Wow, she really is scary, all right. That is the wierdest shaped body I’ve ever seen. What the heck did Eddie Murphy see in her? No amount of makeup can make that pretty!

  37. WTFiswrongwithUppl

    “wookin’ pah nub” & I want HALF eddieeee

    rotfl@classic Murphy! Awesome!

  38. felishous

    holy mother of god!
    scary indeed!

  39. Russell_Reyes

    #2, you just made me remember one of the funniest stand up routines in existance, thank you.

    teehee, i said #2

  40. It’s time for a Spice Girls reunion!!!!

    I just want to see how fat and nasty they’ve gotten. Except for Posh, who joined the Fantastic 4 as “Plastic Woman.”

  41. Thank goodness DrDickBreathPlowShit is sleeping……

  42. damon2020

    She looks like a Gonnie Goo Goo in that photo,

    However she looked pretty before she was pregnant. I’m sure I would look nasty if I had the spawn of Eddie in me.

    But good for her to take him to court and make him own up. I just hope for her that the child really is his so that she doesn’t look like an ass.

  43. jrzmommy♠

    I wish they’d settle all of this on Judge Judy and Maury like the rest of the low lives of the world.

  44. arden

    He has (according to various interviews) always wanted a DNA test. She’s throwing a snit that he hasn’t been to see the baby. The baby he isn’t sure is his, and that if he actually asked to see she would likely make the engagement a total ordeal. She is obviously still hung up. Hung up enough to name the baby Angel Iris Murphy Brown. MURPHY FUCKING BROWN!!! Are you SHITTIN’ me??!!!

  45. LeeLee

    What I keep wondering is how did she know someday she really would be able to live up to the title of Scary Spice?

  46. dovescry1999


  47. mrlithium

    this is so bad publicity for him, he should have just admitted it and saved himself the publicity nightmare which the media is gonna have a field day with. everyone wants him to be the dad so they can laugh at him, but he should just come right out and say yea i fucked her and the kids mine and i support this and this and that and im proud of her for having this baby ON HER OWN. that way he can get out of any child support without having to be dragged into court.

  48. saltpeanuts

    So tell me whatcha want
    whatcha really really want
    I wanna
    I wanna
    uh huh huh uh uh eh eh eh yes yes yes YEEEEEEESSSSSSS!



  49. entertainthetxgirl

    Why does she have to dress like a sloppy hoe momma-to-be? What was Eddie thinking??? Maybe he was thinking that something good can come outta something Scary!

  50. bluecanary

    Bad looks or no (and from this photo it looks like she got caught unawares early one morning sans makeup and ready to pop. To be fair, who wouldn’t look bad in that scenario?), only a classless loser goes around yelling to the media “that ain’t my baby. That could be anybody’s baby.”

    If it’s not his baby, he should’ve quietly ordered a blood test. But no, he’s fighting it. Which means not only is he a classless loser, he’s that kid’s father as well.

    Eddie Murphy, meet the last guy who said “that ain’t my baby,” Liz Hurley’s ex, Stephen Bing. Oh yeah, turns out that WAS his baby.

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