Scary Spice still looks questionably hot in bikini

March 17th, 2008 // 140 Comments

Scary Spice (a.k.a. Melanie Brown) continued her Miami vacation by jet-skiing with her husband Stephen Belafonte. She definitely looks better in these pics than earlier ones but has some questionable features. That being said, after perusing your comments I’m afraid I have to address a very controversial topic. I never thought in 2008 I’d have to discuss such issues, but I need to make the most serious and professional statement of my life:

The Superficial Writer’s wang is an equal-opportunity lover of the va-jay-jay. Whether it be black, brown, white, Chinese, Danish, bran muffin or a LEGO castle covered in Pam cooking spray, odds are my weiner will hit that. Discrimination is for assholes. Oh, right, and also Mel “Sugartits” Gibson. Ha ha, that guy hates stuff.

Now that that’s out of the way, good Lord, what happened to this woman’s face? Did she jet-ski into a coral reef?

Photos: Splash News

  1. shes alright

  2. so2315


  3. The Veggi Whore

    FIRST! to say she’s still a stank monkey whore

  4. bartokf

    He says “equal opportunity” but I highly doubt he’ll go for Paris or Brit (or any other truly “Scary” person)

  5. talking about the body, not the face.

  6. RP

    Looks like she had to find a white man to take care of her kid.

  7. e

    I wanna!! wanna! really really REALLY stick my tongue in that snatch…

  8. e

    I wanna!! wanna! really really REALLY stick my tongue in that snatch…

  9. Barack

    If you want to fuck a half-man (upper body) half-woman (chococottage cheese lower body) in a two-piece, I’m not going to judge you. Even though clearly you have gender confusion and a strong pull to bestiality.

  10. I hate it when garbage floats up onto the beach.

  11. Didn’t she just drop a kid a while ago?

    I agree, not even the Fish dude would do Paris. Brit, though, he might go for. He seemed a bit too thrilled with her cartoon alter ego.

  12. You can always roll her over or put a bog over her head.. The rest looks good..

  13. Rick

    So this is one of those furlough programs or something? I wonder how many people got back to their beach blankets and found their wallets missing.

  14. Kingsley Amis

    She married Kingpin from the Daredevil comics? Or is that Butterbean the wrestler? Dear lord, how do all these Uncle Fester looking Mother f**kers get these women?

  15. mike

    I know he’s black, but her husband could try a little bit harder to keep up with the white folk’s conversation. His face is as blank as Jimbo’s social calendar.

  16. Stoney

    @ 6. RP

    He’s not white, you fool.

  17. sharpeidude

    That’s Harry Belafonte’s son or nephew I think.

  18. Sambo the Ass Pirate

    she be getting her bananas tallied… (wtf ever that means)

  19. Maverick

    I suppose she is hot if you are into thick women with tatoos.

  20. Mel Gibson...and...tell me more

    Out of all people on this earth including Osama bin Laden etc. we have to pick on Mel Gibson. Why? Because he drunkenly says the Jews are behind all the wars? Is the write aware of Zionism and the New World Order?

    1) No, he is ignorant or
    2) He agrees with it
    3) Who cares he is apolitical (history and economics and the banking cartel and the military industrial establishment and incessant wars for the profit of the few, ehhh don’t bother him much)

    This is not an anti-semitic statement on my part. 99.99% or whatever Jews have nothing to do with this and noone came to save them during WW2 so it sure aint their fault. So yeah you can’t blame them it’s just the elite bankers who are war profiteers. And who are they?

    Do Israelites discriminate against Palestinians? Isn’t that anti-semitism (definition of semite: a member of any of various ancient and modern peoples originating in southwestern Asia, including the Akkadians, Canaanites, Phoenicians, Hebrews, and Arabs)??????????

  21. Today is St. Patrick’s Day, a day for lepruchans (sp?) NOT TROLLS!!

    FYI #10-not me, I’m not nearly that vicious OR clever.


  22. Guinness sounds good right about now.

  23. woodhorse

    In the immortal words of Missy Swann, “she look lika Man” – color has nothing to do with it. There is a very realistic makeup job on Robert Downey Jr. to make him black for a movie part. He looks completely different and still HOT. I cannot imagine how Scary made the Spice Girl tryouts unless they were trying to find someone to make the rest look feminine.

  24. Walter

    Face? What face.

  25. Walter

    Face? What face.

  26. titlesswonder

    she looks hot, he is NOT, what a fugly husband, hope to feck that he’s rich at least.

  27. jen

    I don’t undersdtand why people are being so mean? She has a woman’s body and is very beautiful. I hate the spice girls but I have a body similar to that and I don’t work out at all. She is not masculine or macho looking. If you people think so you are all weak stick b*tches

  28. woodhorse

    Jen, I didn’t say she was a bad looking man. I don’t like my men to wear bikinis though. That looks bad.

  29. Janine

    She is a very masculine looking ‘woman’. The man tattos don’t help with it all or the fake looking implants. She also has nasty teeth.

  30. dude

    Ah yes, me mates, I’ve already started on me green beer….

    She still looks like a gorilla.

    I’m glad I don’t have to fuck dirty animals like this chimp-lookin’ skank. Nice tats. How many years did she do, by the way? Looks like about 10. Probably looked at a white man the wrong way. Got off light.

  31. Erica

    Would you rather be sexing some girl and her snap in half from being so skinny or a girl who can take it without breaking? Muscles are good. The anorexic look is gross. Just a thought to all you people saying she looks manly. I mean..her face is kind of bad. And she has a muscular body, which is good.

  32. oompa loompa

    @ 23

    i love ms swan!!!!! no one has made a reference to her in a long time. mad tv sucks without her.
    anyway, scary spice is gross, and colour has nothing to do with it. i don’t understand why people always bring up race. that being said, she used to be very pretty before, but now she’s just kinda frumpy, or looks like a “shulmpadinka” as oprah would say. now THAT lady is annoying.

  33. LL

    Questionable taste in baby daddies aside, I always thought Mel (or whatever the fuck she’s calling herself now) was attractive. I mean, put her next to Halle Berry and she doesn’t compare well, but next to lots of other chicks, white, black, whatever, she’s very doable. She needs to lose that necklace, though. She’s at the beach, not a club.

  34. Luckyone

    I saw her profile on millionaire&celeb dating site W e a l t h yR o m a n c e.c o m last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site.

  35. It’s like they’re filming a science fiction movie, and they can’t decide if the Earth of the future will be dominated by monkeys (her) or the return of Neanderthals (him).

  36. Sandy

    lmao@the look of complete incomprehension on her husband’s face. I wonder how many times a day she has to yell “ungawa!” at him.

  37. evilance

    Next to a fat guy she looks hot! and his nipples are oddly small don’t you think?

  38. #30. She’s no gorilla. She’s a yeti–more of a mountain creature.

  39. Clem

    She’s an utter monster.

  40. Choocher

    What #18 meant to say:

    I was under the impression that Mr. Belafonte only liked to tally bananas.

  41. HAHA

    #30 You are the reason white women love abortions. They pay doctors to go into their dreary stash & snuff your dumb asses. If you were not dying to fuck her you would not be her jizzin’ to her picture. you know im right.

  42. I am Sam

    its unbelievable how racist/evil people are when they are on computers. shes a hot woman with nice curves. you probably want to hit that . stop acting like you don’t.

    btw for all the dumbasses asking what race has to do with it? EVERYTHING when people are comparing her to a gorilla and or a dirt monster. common sense people.

  43. angie10996

    Oh come on! At least she’s freakin real! Half of you dumb fucks wish they had a girl that cold even wear a bikini without covering themselves, so freakin lighten man!

  44. angie10996

    As I’ve said before, dudes wish you had at the least a girl like that! You dudes think you deserve some freakin high standards when half of you are shittin fuck faced fat! Sleep with that you fatties.

  45. bootlips

    It seems all black women are built like linebackers.

  46. angie10996

    whatever “bootips”,…I bet that in a second if you saw her you’d be all over that!!!
    I wouldn’t knock it if I was you!!!

  47. Remember when she had a baby? Is it not weird that she’s constantly on vacation with her new hubby and the baby is locked up somewhere. Eddie didn’t want it, Melanie doesn’t want it….Maybe she sold the baby to the church of Scientology?

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