Scary Spice gives birth

April 3rd, 2007 // 39 Comments

Melanie Brown gave birth to a baby girl early this morning, though no name has been picked out yet and she’s just being referred to as Baby Brown. And because Scary Spice is a slut, she’s still not sure who the father is. She claims Eddie Murphy is the father, but Murphy said on a Dutch TV show last December:

“I don’t know whose child that is until it comes out and has a blood test. You shouldn’t jump to conclusions, sir.”

If I was Eddie I’d be denying I was the father too, just so nobody thought I ever had sex with Scary Spice. It’d be like getting caught having sex with a moose. Or admit to masturbating to Sesame Street.



  1. A baby girl what?

  2. freak_show

    Monkey. A baby girl monkey.

  3. i thought eddie could only get hard for trannies.

  4. teetee


  5. Ah…a baby who can’t sing and has a penchant for trannies…

  6. I’ll bet she gave birth to an alien.

    Maybe Anna Nicole Smith was the father.

  7. tits_on_snack

    I bet it was the popup ad that keeps flying up into my face as I’m trying to read this, and hovering over the entire paragraph, forcing me to click “close” on it, only to have it fly up into my face again. I bet it was the father.

  8. vanman

    Wait, masturbating to Sesame Street is wrong? When the hell was someone gonna tell me? Jerks.

  9. Binky

    This story’s a little Scary

  10. At least she can deduct the Baby as a dependent.

  11. YouRang

    There’s nothing wrong with masturbating to Sesame Street. Big Bird has a sexy ass. And who hasn’t thought of wild monkey love sessions with Bert & Ernie? The Fish is just being a prude.

  12. Superevil

    Pretty soon it’ll be ready to join the other 3 horsemen.

  13. mztry

    ALL your mothers called to say they are having retro-active abortions on you ASSHOLES!

    THIS WOMAN KNOWS who the father of her baby is JERKS!

  14. Will they check for donkey DNA?

  15. Jimbo

    Eddie has a think for trannie hookers!! I wonder if the baby is going to breath fire and have wings?

  16. was the baby…. human!?@$

  17. thebor

    Oh Snuffy your trunk is so big!

  18. Superevil

    13, I really wish you would kill yourself.

  19. lambman

    Well, at least we know she’s a woman.

    How classless is Eddie? He dated the girl for a few months, she’s knocked up who’s kid does he think it is? I can’t wait for these DNA results.

  20. BarbadoSlim

    So, it came out of her fat ass when she took a shit this morning, right?

  21. leewame

    Obviously the father is Bert and Ernie, since they have wild monkey sex, and Scary has given birth to a baby monkey. Duh.

  22. Lowlands

    Well,when it turns out that Eddie Murphie really doesn’t want to play father and mother with her anymore.She doesn’t have to despair,i’m sure there’ll be a plantation owner who’s willingly to take her and a baby to let them work on his cottonfields.

  23. Lowlands

    #22)The baby…

  24. Jillia

    #3 Take another look at her face and think about what you just said… : P

  25. At this point in her career, the manager of the local Walmart might be swabbed.

  26. That’s usually how it works.

  27. Fifth Stooge

    22 Lowlands- You’re doing good here. Don’t blow it by going all racists on us.

  28. woodhorse

    #13: before you go get all righteous, look at that statement in quotes and think for a minute. Doesn’t that sound supiciously like Dr. Phowstus? Why is he so quiet all of a sudden? Methinks he doth not protest enough.

  29. Carsten5577

    Is that the has-been lardass who got pregnant on purpose by Murphy? Good career move. Now she won’t have to worry about money again. She could join the club. Women can be such classy, principled creatures.

  30. ImmaKnock'ErTeethOut


    hmmm…do you mean Dr. Faustus?
    Stop frontin’. If you’re trying to be smart, at least get it right.

    Dr. Faustus, by Marlowe. That Does Not have anything to do with Shakespeare.
    Hamlet — “The lady doth protest too much…” Act 3, Scene 2

    Read, dumbass!

  31. Lowlands

    It ain’t bad nowadays working on cottonfields.It’s from 9 to 5 and you’re getting 3 breaks.Great salary,vacations and a 13e month salary pay.

  32. #31 Lowlands- You are tripping me the fuck out. I laugh everytime I read your comments.

    What the hell is a 13e month salary pay?

  33. TrimSpaBaby

    #30 He’s referring to Dr. Phowstus who posts on here – maybe you should read a little, dumbass, and you’ll get it right.

  34. TrimSpaBaby

    #28 Woodhorse, it’s way too late for mztry to START getting righteous – if there’s a celeb out there who doesn’t have her idiot head halfway up their ass, I’d be surprised. They’re each and every one living saints walking among us, didn’t you know?

  35. Lowlands

    #32)I remember i asked my former employer the same thing when we reached the 13e month.After that i had to give first aid to my bankaccount.

  36. you know what? i actually DID show this picture to my three year old and told her that this was what came into her room at night when she was a bad little girl…let’s just say she’s a good little girl now.

    oh yea congratulations to scary spice on her little pooch…literally…a dog

  37. Ted...From LA

    I was on a bus when this woman got out of the hospital. She boarded the bus and the driver said, “Lady, you’re ugly, but that is the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen.” She was very angry and walked to the back of the bus fuming. When she sat down she told the man next to her that the bus driver just called her ugly. He said, “Well you just go up there and tell him to go to hell. I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

  38. WTFiswrongwithUppl

    LMFAO #17 you sick fuck! I spit water on my screen

  39. freak_show

    37 Ted, I already said that baby was a monkey. Don’t repeat my schtick.

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