Scarlett Johansson’s snot worth $5,300

December 23rd, 2008 // 55 Comments

Scarlett Johansson has mucus-y gold coming out her face. She recently auctioned off a used tissue that she blew her nose into on The Tonight Show and some sucker paid $5,300 for it. And by sucker I of course mean serial killer. BBC News reports:

Johansson blew her nose twice, leaving some lipstick and mucus behind, before putting it in a bag and signing it.
Proceeds from the sale are going to hunger charity USA Harvest, the charity of Scarlett Johansson’s choice.
The actress appeared on Tonight to promote her latest movie, The Spirit, in which she stars in alongside Samuel L Jackson.
Johansson told Leno she had caught a cold from him and thought her illness had more “value” as it had been passed from one celebrity to another.

Before all you wiseasses out there say “Heh, I’ve got something in a tissue you can sell.” You should probably know I spent the past five minutes cornering the market. On that note, I’m taking a nap under my desk. Hey, whose tissues are these?! Oh, right…

Photos: WENN

  1. Trebor

    People are stupid, apparently.

  2. *Wonder where Randal going to store that crap*

  3. PostmortemG

    I wouldn’t mind having a napkin smeared with S.J.’s snot and lipstick, but I’d only accept it as a personal present.

  4. nastyjay

    Wonder what some of her love lotion would go for then

  5. Randal

    You truly are a beauty, I would only hope that one day I can meet you and maybe have a chat about upcoming projects of yours.

    Don’t let anyone get you down, girlfriend. I hope to be seeing your radiance on the big screen soon! I said I wouldn’t be here till 2009, but I could not help but chime in after seeing your adorable face on The Superficial’s main page.

    Once again, thanks Fish!


  6. Jimbo

    I’m so sick of seeing curvy women like her. I like women who look sort of like teenage boys or even like young girls. She is so ugly!

  7. Obama the Messiah

    You know some freak is going to use the DNA from that kleenex to clone her and her nice tits.

  8. lizzy

    she is so fucking overrated, this girl is NOT that attractive, get the fuck over it!!!!!!!

  9. The only sentence that should have “Scarlett Johanssen” and “blow” in it should also include “my load on her…”.

  10. @lizzy
    The attractiveness of a person is subjective. It just so happens most people agree on their opinion of this young woman.

    I’ll agree with the mass and say I find her very attractive, but I’ll respect your opinions because I’m sure you have your reasons.

    Also, I wouldn’t buy her snot no matter how awesome I think her to be.

  11. Uncle Eccoli

    How arrogant must you be to save a tissue believing you could sell it?

  12. BigBillHell

    Could you imagine how much a suck on her tit would go for?!

  13. Sport

    What’s the high bidder going to do with a used tissue – masturbate to it?
    What a fucked up loser.

  14. Deacon Jones

    I’ll tell you exactly what he’ll do with it.
    1. Add Water
    2. Jerk off with the snot
    3. Fall asleep

  15. Vince Lombardi

    Heh, I’ve got something in a tissue you can sell.

  16. chickdowntown

    At that rate she should just quit her career, start sneezing into ziplock bags, and sell whatever flies out of her face into the bags on eBay. Looks like a great plan since I didn’t know the market for snot on a kleenex was so strong in this economy.

  17. ew

    That’s gross…

  18. @6 Thanks troll..

    I under how much she could get for some used panties??

  19. Serial Killer

    Scarlett Johansson’s snot rag with lipstick = $5300

    Scarlett Johansson chopped up and put into a blender = Priceless

  20. Mike

    With that huge horse mouth, I’m surprised it fetched as much as it did. I suppose for an encore, she could shit into a bag and sell it, at least that way she could be real as to what the benefactors of her charity will be getting.

  21. CC

    I think it’s hilarious that most of the negative comments, on every post, are from women. Post a picture/story about a pretty woman that men like, and it’s guaranteed that a bunch of women will write comments saying things like, “She isn’t even that pretty!” or “She is talented, but her body isn’t even that great,” when it’s obvious that those things aren’t true. Stop hating!

  22. dork

    I’d pay $10,000 for a cup of Scarlett’s breast milk.

  23. mimi


    CC you don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m a woman and I’d do her. In fact, I’d do her twice just to spite you.

    Everyone, pray for CC!

  24. Anticyclonic

    Wow. So, that basically means that I can blow my nose and put the tissue on eBay claiming it belonged to Angelina Jolie.

  25. WTF

    @19 I probably shouldn’t have laughed as hard as I did. That is priceless!

  26. She is my favorite. Just saw her on milllionaire personals site “”"” W e a l t h y D a t e r . c o m”"”"”" last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site.Is she single again now?

  27. Chauncey Gardner

    Bitch has no fucking class.

  28. amanda

    thats retarded, perhaps even the whole gold plated tooth thing made more sense

    im not a fan, although i did like her quote “i look like a boy, well not my body obviously” because i agree, he face is nothing special. he husband is hot as hell tho!

  29. cam

    umm ok. what is the buyer going to do with the tissue in a year? how will he prove to people that it belonged to her? i’d rather buy an actual collectible…. people are weird.

  30. Fati

    god, i hate this stupid chicken! seriously, who the fuck does she think she is being so certain someone will buy her boogers? but then again why not, if there some fucked up idiots out there? but i still wish she’s break her neck.

  31. PostmortemG

    “I under how much she could get for some used panties??”

    Yeah, this event does beg the question…


  33. friendlyfires

    You know the guy that bought the snot rag? He now has dibs on her used tampons and kotex pads … Goodbye Scarlett, my dear, it’s too bad you didn’t think twice and gave damn.

    That’s the problem with six and a half billion people – at least three hundred fucking million are clearly totally out of their skulls.

  34. My whole self is not worth that much. Well my bank account in this economy.

    I could whore myself or my mouth for that much and more and again, but………..

  35. George W Bush

    I think the guy who bought it was a scientist. His plan is to clone her using the DNA from that tissue. Then he’ll raise the little Scarlett’s in his basement and eventually open a whore house when they grow up. All Scarlett all the time! Talk about a solid business plan.

  36. Mitch

    I’d buy it. I’d use the DNA to clone my own mini-Scarlett.

  37. The Laughing G-D

    A fool and his money are soon parted

  38. Emily

    i think she’s beautiful and super hott and all…but seriously $5300 for a tissue with snot?! i wouldnt even want it if it was for free!!!

  39. #23 – That is just comic gold. Your ability to type why shoveling food in your pudgy mouth is amazing. I can only conclude that you have a third hand, or extremely dextrous feet.

  40. sfnsf

    Just be thankful it was Scarlett blowing her nose and not Michael Jackson. If it was a Michael Jackson kleenex, it probably would have chunks of rotting flesh along with bloody pus filled snot from his decaying nose and sinuses . . . but on the other hand some of his fans might like to have that for breakfast . . .

  41. F-Obama

    I’d pay that to taste the snot from her pussy…

  42. …………………….WHAT ABOUT HER SHIT, folks?

  43. CC

    Mimi, I said “most,” not “all.” Learn to read!

  44. k

    she’s soooooooooooooooo ugly

  45. what a bore

    beautiful or not, she is overrated as an actress. and, she doesn’t have much tits without the wonder ‘kit’ on. so why are we supposed to care about this oyster-girl?

  46. what a bore

    beautiful or not, she is overrated as an actress. and, she doesn’t have much tits without the wonder ‘kit’ on. so why are we supposed to care about this oyster-girl?

  47. In L.A.

    First, I am not a fan – I think she is the most boring, uninteresting actresses in this town. Second, let me guess, the person who bought and paid for it some old, bald, overweight stalker perv weirdo who lives in mother’s basement, right?

  48. wolf5150

    If she can squirt out some breastmilk, I’ll go $7500, if Ryan Reynolds can make her vag squirt like those pornstars, that could fetch $10,000 on the Hot
    Chick bodily fluids website.

  49. JT

    Save that shit and clone later ^_^

    Then he can have his very own SJ fuck toy haha.

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