Scarlett Johansson wins creepiest girlfriend award


Ryan Reynolds birthday was on Tuesday and his girlfriend Scarlett Johansson decided to get him a unique gift. You know, something that shows Ryan how much she loves him and will totally stab him in his sleep if he ever looks at another girl. A gossip hound for E! Online has the details:

“She’d just had her wisdom teeth removed, so she had one dipped in gold and strung on a necklace for him.”

Her wisdom tooth. Covered in gold. Wow. I bet for Christmas Scarlett Johannson will nail a dead bat to Ryan Reynold’s chest. Then cry after sex. God, she’s so perfect. Like something out of a dream. If I ever built a robot-woman to be my lifelong companion, I’d make it exactly like Scarlett Johansson. Except without the talking. Ha, why would I need that?

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