Scarlett Johansson named prettiest ugly person

March 14th, 2006 // 79 Comments

scarlett-johansson-natural-beauty.jpgScarlett Johansson has been named Hollywood’s most natural beauty by a new poll of members of the National Association Of Screen Make-Up Artists And Hairdressers. Kate Winslet was named second and Catherine Zeta-Jones came in third. Orlando Bloom topped the male list, followed by Jake Gyllenhaal and Johnny Depp respectively.

Let this be a lesson to all you people out there. If you want to get yourself on a list of the top natural beauties, just put on 30lbs and look like you’re supposed to be ugly.

superficial

  1. TheRegulator

    Hollywood’s most natural beauty?
    Are these people insane?
    The girl is just ugly. Yeah, something’s not right in that gene pool.
    She reminds me of that weird looking, pasty bi-sexual chick everyone knew in high school.
    Something about her really grosses me out.

  2. nbk

    I think Scarlett is pretty. But something about her acting role in each movie made her look much older than she really is. Do you people know that Scarlett is actually younger than Ashley Simp?

  3. benjamin01

    The concepts of a universal “#1 Most beautiful” and gloabally “#1 sexiest” are flat absurd, anyway.

    Scarlett’s appearance does fill a niche in Hollywood — no one else looks like her, which can’t be said for about 85% of Hollywood females.. so I’d agree that she is the #1 most unique looking among “the current pool of actresses and wannabe actresses who have blown at least one of the ‘right’ directors to make sure they’ve gotten some effective press & p.r.”.

  4. Bo_Smith

    #39 Haha… “Lost in Transvestite”

    I think she resembles a pig a nice fat piggy wiggy LOL.

  5. neophyte

    I’d do her.

    As for the males, Gyllenhaal and Bloom over Depp?

  6. mamaE

    in response to #24

    if you think angelina jolie is a natural beauty, you are sadly mistaken. she is about as natural as easy cheez. check out all the pics at this site if you doubt it.

    http://www.bastardly.com/archives/2005/05/12/the-young-angelina-jolie-a-pictorial-shaukat-aziz-brad-pitt/

    that upper lip looks a lot bigger these days, and her nose is undoubtedly slimmer and more defined. and if anyone says that lips inflate and noses shrink that much with age, you’re a fool. like whoever said catherine zeta-jones’ nose looks better now because her hairline miraculously improved itself. yeah… that happens to men all the time, and makes their noses look BIGGER!

  7. mamaE

    in response to #24

    if you think angelina jolie is a natural beauty, you are sadly mistaken. she is about as natural as easy cheez. check out all the pics at this site if you doubt it.

    http://www.bastardly.com/archives/2005/05/12/the-young-angelina-jolie-a-pictorial-shaukat-aziz-brad-pitt/

    that upper lip looks a lot bigger these days, and her nose is undoubtedly slimmer and more defined. and if anyone says that lips inflate and noses shrink that much with age, you’re a fool. like whoever said catherine zeta-jones’ nose looks better now because her hairline miraculously improved itself. yeah… that happens to men all the time, and makes their noses look BIGGER!

  8. Mugato

    “no one else looks like her”

    Laura Prepon is her doppleganger.

  9. benjamin01

    I don’t think Laura Prepon looks like her, but maybe it’s just this photo:
    http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0696059/

  10. manunited

    If someone kicked her face in with spikes it would be dingo her a favor – she is disgusting! Big boobs will only get you so far.
    uuggh, I can’t stand looking at her assface.

  11. manunited

    Sorry for the typo – “dingo” apparently means “doing”.

    Apologies…

  12. BlairTheLostCause

    I’d like to dip my chip in that cheese. But if I did she’d say “that’s nacho cheese”. Then she’d arresst me for squeezing her pefectly pillowy breasts like that queer guy at the Golden Globes.

  13. outfoxed

    Exhibit A for not being a natural beauty: she dyes her hair. Fatness and ugliness fall in here afterwards, by point of fact that both ‘fatness’ and ‘ugliness’ are natural things.

  14. faghag

    Boring, splobby dimwit with delusions of talent and an inflated ego. Overrated is an understatement.

  15. jipi

    S.J. is definitely fugly.

    She tries really hard to be stylish and sophisticated though I think she only ends up looking aged.

    Her features are a good example of “desirable” features that DON’T quite work.

    Lips->those naturally big lips look anything but sexy. She seems to love them though as she is always making them so obvious.

    Eyes-> more like blank, stupid stare. why does she have to “look” in that way?

    body-> so average and unremarkable

    She also needs to stop pretending to be a blonde! and her personality, um, where is it?

  16. For the record, without being insulting, Scarlett is absolutely average, and the term
    “beauty” is a gross exageration. Where has public taste gone?

  17. For the record, without being insulting, Scarlett is absolutely average, and the term
    “beauty” is a gross exageration. Where has public taste gone?

  18. Dee

    forehead power

  19. heifferzzz

    #57 Acceptance is the key!! just because some site publishes an agesss ago before photo & compares them to a recent glamourous photo doesn’t mean every celebrity has had plastic surgery. Just accept that some women are born very beautiful, it maybe unfair but that’s just the way it is! I said CZJ’s hair, as in hairstyle, had improved not her hairline, read through the comment again!!

  20. Tetsuo

    You dipshits who don’t believe Catherine Zeta-Jones has had plastic surgery obviously never saw shit of her pre-Hollywood. She was decided homely in Darling Buds of May. Doable, but miles shy of what she looks like now. Y’all just need to accept that some women are born beautiful and some have beauty surgically thrust upon them. And that fame hag is certainly one of the latter.

  21. April

    Scarlett isn’t ugly, but she isn’t exactly attractive either…she’s just sort of average looking. Kate should’ve gotten 1st place. As for the guys….Johnny’s handsome and Orlando’s alright, but Jake? Ugh.

  22. heifferzzz

    Well you dumbasses that think CZJ has had surgery have the onus of proof, so unless you’ve got HARD evidence then we dipshits will continue to think as we do…CZJ is a NATURAL BEAUTY!! She just grew up from way back when!!

  23. Aimlessway

    If you guys think Scarlett Johansson is ugly then I declare you crazy! I don’t know what you guys are thinking. Haven’t you ever seen the pictures of the other celebrities without makeup? Maybe you should make a comparison…

  24. Aimlessway

    If you guys think Scarlett Johansson is ugly then I declare you crazy! I don’t know what you guys are thinking. Haven’t you ever seen the pictures of the other celebrities without makeup? Maybe you should make a comparison…

  25. Aimlessway

    If you guys think Scarlett Johansson is ugly then I declare you crazy! I don’t know what you guys are thinking. Haven’t you ever seen the pictures of the other celebrities without makeup? Maybe you should make a comparison…

  26. Aimlessway

    Ooh, my bad for spamming up there.

  27. JacksonWallace

    Scarlett gave me total wood back in Lost In Translation. ok, how long ago was that? Four years? Let me explain it to you.
    Some women are totally hott when they’re 17, and then keep growing and ballooning outward into larger women into their twenties. Other women are sticks when they’re 17 and turn into hot tamales by 23, and are lucky because they can stay that way for decades. Its not a judgment call on looks, or that women should have to be what they arent, but the slender ‘ideal’ is something that most women cannot maintain. Like a friend of mine said, everyone looks good at 17. Not everyone looks as good at however old she is 22, especially in this consumer society. I had a gf once who was so hott at 19, but she just kept growing into a larger beast-like football player. Another sleek brunette at 19 had her ass balloon two years later. It happens. Sure, some of it is a lack of exercise, some of its just that we’ve gotten used to a skinnier hipless ideal. Giselle Bundchen is great, but she is totally hipless and kind of gross at the wrong angles. SJ’s looks were just more striking younger. her ass in sheer undies was quite a sight in LIT, but that’s why they call it lingerie – suggestion, not reality. People can think she’s attractive, but I can just feel in most of her pics, including the Vanity Fair one, that she’s no longer the explosive beauty she was. She seems plainer.
    Aguilera is another example. What’s odd and cute soon turns into adult and average.

    Its just the luck of the draw. Live by your face, die by your face.
    Noone’s obligated to keep thinking you’re the most gorgeous if you just plain arent anymore.

  28. skbcc2005

    I think it was a joke that he married her. They dont match at all. She looks so plastic!! I mean, who has skin like that, really?? I really like him and his music but her I could care less about. Shes fake. Come on Nicole, slow down with the face lift, stretch, scrape, peel, reshape, resurface, spackle and fill thing. You’re as bad as Latoya Jackson! “NEWS FLASH…NICOLE KIDMAN SNEEZED TODAY IN SPAGO…HER FACE SPLIT IN TWO AND HER NOSE FELL INTO HER SOUP”…MORE AT 11!

  29. i am so fucking pissed!!!!!

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