Scarlett Johansson named prettiest ugly person

March 14th, 2006 // 79 Comments

scarlett-johansson-natural-beauty.jpgScarlett Johansson has been named Hollywood’s most natural beauty by a new poll of members of the National Association Of Screen Make-Up Artists And Hairdressers. Kate Winslet was named second and Catherine Zeta-Jones came in third. Orlando Bloom topped the male list, followed by Jake Gyllenhaal and Johnny Depp respectively.

Let this be a lesson to all you people out there. If you want to get yourself on a list of the top natural beauties, just put on 30lbs and look like you’re supposed to be ugly.


  1. SuperSpence

    If Scarlett Johanssen is ugly then I want me some ugly tail…pronto!

  2. CoLoStOmY bAg

    Gross, she’s hideous. Her facial freatures suggest partial down syndrome.

  3. Maeve97

    Scarlett is beautiful. If anyone saw her in “Girl with a Pearl Earring,” she was wearing like no makeup (except foundation probably) and looked really good.

  4. Warrior

    You forgot to mention her wooden acting.

  5. leafslove

    WHAT… the fuck? orlando bloom for most natural male? the only thing natural about him is the baby seals he kills to grease up his hair.

  6. #4 Warrior, I don’t know what you are talking about! She was great when she played Corky on the Series “Life Goes On”

  7. #2 (CoLoStOmY bAg)- You apparently have never seen anyone with down syndrome. Do yourself a favor and google it. Knowledge is power my friend.

    In my opinion, Scarlett is a very naturally beautiful. But, Different strokes for different folks I guess.


  8. Tania

    She’s OVERRATED.

  9. Topaz Vamp

    This might have been funny if she really was ugly or 30 pounds overweight, but since she’s just kinda cute and “fat” only in the boobs, who cares? What baffles me is Catherine Zeta Jones’ place on this list. She isn’t natural – ever see her old nose? Like a little potato.

  10. tits_on_snack

    i liked her “lost in translation” body. she didn’t even need to lose weight. too bad she did.

  11. There is somehting about her mouth area that is just all wrong. She has a nice body…i’d still hit it. XD

  12. gogoboots

    Scarlett is at least a better actress then Lindsay Lohan, who aspires to be in movies that Scarlett gets offered on a daily basis. She’s not a bad actress either, she’s a lot better than most of the supposed actresses around today. And she has style, but I’ve noticed her boobs have been popping out of her dresses a lot lately, so I think she needs to tone it down just a bit and start dressing like Reese Witherspoon.

  13. gogoboots

    Jake is too HOT! Of course, no complaints about him on the list either….

  14. hafaball

    You’re right S.Starr, she is very beautiful, and she can stroke me anyday. :D

  15. gogoboots:

    I think the girl should dress how she wants to dress. Not how you think she should dress.

  16. #9 – Catherine Zeta Jones had plastic surgery? My illusions! Shattering!

    Back it up with proof, please!

  17. miadm2002

    Geez, I look better than her!!

  18. xaputa

    #12 LOL

    I cannot start to immagine how sexy sumptuous Scarlett (uuuuh, aliteration) would look in Reese’s Golden Globe dress.

  19. Maeve97

    For Catherine Z-J’s old nose:

  20. Jayne

    Depends on her camera angles.
    Usually she just looks blah.
    Her nose weirds me out.

    Why wasn’t Alison Lohman number one?
    Just because no one knows who she is.. :pout:

  21. that-dog-is-shifty-eyed

    this is just farkin’ ridiculous.

  22. aura

    I think Scarlett looks like an opossum. Her face is really ugly to me… but her body & the fact that she doesn’t fakebake are positives. Her skin also looks pretty flawless. butterface? man, c’mon. I think the subject heading for this post is accurate. And Catherine Zeta Jones As people have already pointed out, she’s hardly a “natural” beauty! Kate Winslet I buy.

  23. Bunseedsnobunseeds

    Ugh. Jake Gyllenhaal? You have to be kidding. Just seeing him shirtless makes me want to get rid of the shag carpeting in my basement.

  24. andrewthezeppo


    And where exactly do the far more beautiful fall on that list?

    people like… Natalie Portman, Kiera Knightly, Lauren Grahm, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Charlize Theron, Naomi Watts, Angelina Jolie, Jessica Alba, Rosario Dawson, Jamie King, Kate Hudson, Katie Holmes (minus the oral herpes), Sigorney Weaver and Joan Allen are both over 50 and have had no work done, Portia De Rossi, Rachel Bilson, Gretchen Mol, Mandy Moore, Liv Tyler, Miranda Otto, Cate Blanchet, Lucy Liu,

    I’m all for nice boobs and everything, but other than that Scarlet is no where near my number 1 natural beauty.

    now, on the list of whores who have sex in elevators with ugly old mexican actors she’s number 1

  25. shes onw of the few real movie stars we have, lay off, shes beautiful too.

  26. I agree with thesuperficial editors. Johanssen is FAT

  27. Warrior

    #20 Jayne, Alison Lohman is the shit. Far superior in talent and beauty compared to Scarlett.

  28. HollyJ

    I was gonna raise the issue of that fact that Zeta-Jones is about as much a “natural beauty” as Pam Anderson…but I’m way too late on that one. Thanks for pointing it out.

    Ok, we can agree that beauty really IS very subjective.

    And based on my own very subjective eyeballs, this girl has a seriously fucked-up ugly face. Her face is a triangle with a huge pointy chin…she has a huge long nose with a big round bulb on the end…then there’s her beautiful eye bags that no amt of makeup can cover, her malformed lips, and–apparantly–a hairy upper lip (in this photo, anywho).

    Nice tits only go so far. Would you find Art Garfunkel hot if he had big perfect tits?

  29. mamacita

    I happen to think Scarlett is beautiful. Yeah, she’s been wearing some booby-popping dresses lately, but damn if she doesn’t look good in them. I’ve actually never seen any of her movies, so I don’t know about her acting talent, but I think she’s really pretty and different-looking. My sister calls her mushmouth, because she says she can never understand what she’s saying in her movies.

  30. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    She looks like she practiced making that face for when the director tells her to act like she’s been taking lotsa valium. And Jake Gyllenhaal, wasn’t he the Bubble Boy?

  31. arctor

    she’s hot…but am I the only one that noticed the (badly done) blurring of her face in 90% of the shots in The Island?…

  32. EHsed

    #26 – “I agree with thesuperficial editors. Johanssen is FAT”

    You’re crazy, and the reason I know this is because like 5 years ago I was also crazy like that and would have said the same thing. I bet you starve yourself and puke up a glass of milk because you think it will make you gain weight. One day out of the blue, you’re going to look in the mirror and realize that you look like a skeleton and that the people around you who were telling you that you are too skinny aren’t trying to sabatoge you but they are acutally concerned about your health. Then you can actually start eating normally and look a thousand times better.

    Johanssen is hotter than hot, sweetie. I’d hit it, and I’m not even a lesbian.

  33. Sheva

    She looked quite matronly in LIT. Wide and broad with that mother quality some maybe like.

    Other than that, when she was on Jay Leno, she clearly had dropped a lot of weight and gotten on a program.

    But that cover picture shows she’s pretty doughy. But some guys like doughy. I prefer athletic.

  34. amma

    Scarlett I get. Kate I get. But Catherine??? Come on…before plastic surgery, she looked positively simian. I mean, even her hair line had to be raised. Give her props, she looks good now…but natural??? No way!

  35. Haroof

    She has beautiful cans and a nice natural body.

    Does anything else really matter?

    Didn’t think so.

  36. heifferzzz

    AHHHHHHHH idiots, just because some site puts out a VERY old ‘before’ pic doesn’t mean CZJ had plastic surgery. She was probably like 20 or something in that pic and you gotto know, most girls don’t develop definitive bone structure (like cheekbones) until they hit their thirties. Her face has become less chubby and her hair’s changed that’s why her nose looks different! So unless you have got hard facts, Catherine is a natural beauty! & whoever mentioned Keira Knightly, natural beauty my ass, she’s 20 & she has already admitted to lip enhancements!

  37. Tania

    #30 Mamacita: Mushmouth is a great description for it! It’s almost like her tongue is too big for her mouth or something. And her deep transvestive voice…uggh.

  38. Tania

    Should have been “transvestiTe voice”.

  39. rocawear86

    LOL @ all the Scarlett haters…she is definitely hotter than what u wish you looked like or be lucky enough to get in the sack with.

  40. Binky

    She’s looking more and more like the ‘More Cowbell’ chick.
    But , I ‘d still ‘moo’…

  41. Binky

    OMG – my ‘More Cowbell’ chick ad just got replaced by RYAN SEE-PEST !!! How do I change my ‘cookies’ back to Oreo ? The HORROR !!

  42. Evangelia

    #32 i think you’re the one one who even SAW the island.

  43. Evangelia

    #32 i think you’re the one one who even SAW the island.

  44. HughJorganthethird

    Yeah she’s really ugly. I’m sure glad MY girlfriend doesn’t look like that. I definetly wouldn’t want to go down on that for about 3 days straight. No WAY I’m letting her blow me, that’s for sure.

  45. rocawear86

    @ 46, sarcasm right?

  46. laluz

    Scarlett is actually unique in the homogenous world of Hollywood, and yes she is a natural beauty and a natural actress, as many people in the industry have stated on numerous occacions. I think they would know more about being a natural actress than a bunch of people sitting around on the net wasting their work day. As for the natural beauty issue… to each their own, but I know most women would love to have her figure and clear skin. If you see her in her tight clothing in _The Island_ (or if you look up pictures on the net if you deemed it unworthy to see – many of you are obviously good at that), she has a beautiful body. Her *naturally* large breasts give her the illusion of being heavier than she is when she’s featured in head shots or is wearing loose clothing (as she often does). Are these the butt, legs, and ankles of someone who is “fat”? I think not:

    And word to #7.

  47. CheekyChops

    Okay, who voted? Blind people?

  48. mamacita


    I agree with you that Scarlett is beautiful, but you snuck this little gem in there:

    “I think they would know more about being a natural actress than a bunch of people sitting around on the net wasting their work day.”

    without considering the fact that your’re sitting around on the net wasting your work day.

Leave A Comment