Scarlett Johansson might be a bovine

August 3rd, 2006 // 164 Comments





  1. Giggles


  2. TOPAZ21

    not cool

  3. Mary45


  4. BestNameEver

    OMG, poor Scarlett looks like such a retard in that first picture. :(

  5. Giggles

    I love how the ads for this page are showing up for the milk/dairy industry. Way to go!!!

  6. whoworksatworkanyhow

    nose rings like that are just wrong. shame on her.

  7. ebayfan414

    Hmmmm, something is very FISHY about these pictures. Oh wow I did NOT go there did I? Oh yes I did!! I did! MUAHAHAHHAHA

    P.S. I am not responsible for any corny-joke related deaths

  8. mrs.t

    She has way bigger problems than the nose ring. Like that fucking hoopdog of a boyfriend. Maybe she got it in hopes of grossing him out so bad that he’d just run off to a baseball game/poker game/strip club/cigar store and never come back.

  9. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    To me, it looks more like when you swallow the cum wads of ten male porn stars after doing 18 lines of coke and then an hour later it just kind of drips uncontrollably when you decide to go out for ice cream with your hot boyfriend. I hate it when that happens.

  10. Hopeless_Screenwriter

    I think she would look better with a nose bone.

    A nose bone has a straight shaft with a ball at each end.

    On second thought I think she would look better with my bone in her throat with my balls on her nose!!!!

  11. mrs.t

    I always have the male porn stars blow the coke up my asshole, thereby avoiding the drips.

  12. Mary45

    She has cankles.

  13. Hopeless_Screenwriter

    @10 Osh. Ummm. Don’t you think you’re being a little harsh?

  14. Hopeless_Screenwriter

    and I think you’re talking about frozen custard? But I may be mistaken.


  15. BarbadoSlim

    There’s always room for classic observational comedy #7 so hi-fives and kudos all-around.

    As for FattyMcJuggs, I’ve got nothing to say ‘cept she’s gotta a great pair of cans. If I were Australian, I would call her: sugar-tits.

  16. HarryNipples


    Is that SNOT congregating around that goddamm disgusting nose ring, or is that just leftover mucous membrane from the last blowjob she gave??

    You would think with all the money she has she would make a better effort…

  17. LilRach

    Nose ring is so wrong
    Sunglasses are so not this season
    Shoes – well don’t even get me started.

    Other than that shit she’s just eating an icecream walking down the street when along come the fuckarazzi. I think scarletts quite cute :) and Josh looks hot!

  18. Peaches2133

    I use to think she was hot. That nose ring looks ridiculous….

  19. mrs.t

    Josh is one of those fratboys with the teeny-tiny penises. So tiny, in fact, that you can only use the term ‘penis’ when telling your friends about it.

    Throwing-a-sausage-down-a-hallway tiny.

  20. Berrylicious

    That cow ring goes well with the moo moo she is wearing!

  21. Hmm. Perhaps she’s engaging in that time-honored practice of Hollywood people getting ahead because of their physical appearance, and then doing everything they can to look stupid to reject it.

    Remember the tattoo and vial-of-blood years for Dame Angelina Jolie?

  22. She’s actually getting in character to portray Elsie, the Borden cow.

  23. HarryNipples

    So is the Harnett dude slippin’ her that tiny penis? Or do they just like to shop together??

  24. amajean040904

    Love the nose ring. Hate the dress.

  25. endometriorama

    i like it, but obviously it won’t last. she needs to get an industrial or vertical clit ring to match.

  26. azcoyote

    Por Josh Hartnet… You get the perfect girl and she suddenly goes all bongo on you. Nose ring? I would worry more about her trystes with Wilmer Valderama….
    At least he got to hit some prime poo-nay-nay before this thing goes south…

  27. Will someone please tell me why anyone would think this makes them attractive?

  28. ImSuicidal

    jrzmommy Please see comment 80 in the Jenna Jameson picture.

  29. endometriorama

    haha and to everyone that hates the septum piercing, check out the expression of the guy in the last picture.

  30. HarryNipples


    She needs to be milked – her teats are sore and she’s starting to moo…

  31. Hopeless_Screenwriter

    @31 Imsuicidal: Don’t ever apologize for being funny even if it means being rude! i.e “instead of a juice box ask your son if he wants pussy…”



    P.s. Suck my ass, gaywad.

  32. combustion8

    I’d hit it.

  33. Cruzadas

    I don’t get it. Couldn’t Josh Hartnett date a full woman, instead of this teen trash-girl wannabe?

  34. Cruzadas

    Don’t get me wrong, I just think that if I had women licking my boots like Hartnett has, I’d be dating some top super models.

  35. kateprayer

    Hi, its called a septum piercing?
    And you people commenting are retarded.

  36. bootface

    i want to fuck her

  37. Cruzadas

    Oh that’s right, you gross people call this iron rings “piercings”. Forgot the name for a minute there. What? It’s actually called a “septum piercing”? Oh great!! Now that fixes it all. She’s looking prettier already… :S

    Kill yourselves, you septum ring lovers! Kill yourselves face piercings fans! Kill yourselves you…you Scarlett Johansson white-trashes!

  38. RichPort

    Let me see… will that awful piercing distract me from her fat lips wrapped around the meat monster, or cause one’s hands to become obsessed with it rather than her plump mams? No, so she gets a pass… where’s the pics of the other piercings?

  39. Cruzadas

    This is my favorite:

    Go Scarlett go!

  40. RichPort

    Oh yeah, I’d definitely brand that ass…

  41. LilRach

    At least she looks better than this…..

  42. Nikk The Templar


    That’s a cute dress. And her sandals are cute.

    It looks like she got some kind of lemon ice snowcone. Now I want one.

    Yay Scarlett.

  43. HarryNipples

    Shut your cakehole, kate or I’ll hit you over the head with my seizure medicine…

    Q – Whaddya call a cow with no legs?
    A – Ground beef…

  44. BarbadoSlim

    @38…Hi yourself there stranger, say, why don’t you buy yourself some nice piercings to go and while you are at it, get a nice STFU tattoo as well.


  45. HarryNipples

    What’s a septum? Is it that piece of skin between her asshole and vagina??

  46. HarryNipples

    ..and if so, why would anyone want to pierce it?? eeeewwww…

  47. HarryNipples

    I hurt my septum once…I was pole vaulting and slipped…

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