These are the latest ads for Scarlett Johansson’s Dolce & Gabbana campaign. Apparently, if you buy their new eyeshadow, you’ll look exactly like Scarlett. So, ladies, step away from the computer and get cracking. By the time I leave work I hope to see Scarlett serving me coffee, ringing up my groceries and dancing to pay for law school. Ha ha, I’m kidding. I’ll go straight to the strip club.
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Courteney Cox's Shocking Confession About Her Sex Life – Huffington Post |
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| Skinny Star in a Bikini Talks About Being Anorexic – Evil Beet Gossip | |
| Sasha Grey keeps doing it for the kids. – TMZ | |
| Kate Middleton Steps Out On Her Own – Lainey Gossip |
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combustion8 | February 13, 2009 at 2:11 pm
average
james | February 13, 2009 at 2:12 pm
she looks like e.t.
wtf??? | February 13, 2009 at 2:13 pm
gorgeous
Sid | February 13, 2009 at 2:14 pm
This reminds me – PEOPLE, PLEASE *DO NOT* EAT TUNA FISH! unless the can says “dolphin safe”.
LA N3NA | February 13, 2009 at 2:17 pm
lmao
yea like her eyes are too far apart
NAH SHE prettier than others
and theyre selling foundation not eyeshadow
Uncle Eccoli | February 13, 2009 at 2:17 pm
She’s got nice cans. That. Is. All.
Uncle Eccoli | February 13, 2009 at 2:17 pm
She’s got nice cans. That. Is. All.
foghat | February 13, 2009 at 2:17 pm
ugh, I WANT to dislike her but this isn’t making it easy.
saying she looks “average” here is hilarious
http://www.lowbrowsophisticate.com/category/grady-ocorn
foghat | February 13, 2009 at 2:18 pm
ugh, I WANT to dislike her but this isn’t making it easy.
saying she looks “average” here is hilarious
http://www.lowbrowsophisticate.com/category/grady-ocorn
Mama Pinkus | February 13, 2009 at 2:18 pm
no one is as sexy as Ms. Johansson thinks she is
Ang | February 13, 2009 at 2:18 pm
I believe the second picture is an ad for their new “ass to mouth” perfume.
Andrea | February 13, 2009 at 2:22 pm
She has nice breasts. (pretty much the only relevant comment for any picture of her)
Spenceer | February 13, 2009 at 2:30 pm
Life needs passion.
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Virginia | February 13, 2009 at 2:31 pm
She could sell generosity to Jews.
Jesse | February 13, 2009 at 2:34 pm
She could sell a work ethic to blacks.
Sportsdvl | February 13, 2009 at 2:39 pm
Nice tits, everything else – a tad above average. Plus, she seems to be so boring whenever they interview her.
mike | February 13, 2009 at 2:39 pm
She could sell a salad to Jessica Simpson.
Nancy | February 13, 2009 at 2:45 pm
She could sell an umbrella to Rihanna.
Jrz | February 13, 2009 at 2:48 pm
Didn’t Lindsay Lohan do a Marilyn Monroe thing last year? Didn’t Lindsay Lohan write something really nasty about Scarlett on a bathroom wall not too long ago?
Has anyone checked in with Linds to see if this has pushed her into an epic drinking binge?
Mhm | February 13, 2009 at 2:49 pm
Gorg!
Jrz | February 13, 2009 at 2:53 pm
Bah! She couldn’t sell free liposuction to Usher’s wife.
Kyle | February 13, 2009 at 2:55 pm
Well, Jesus was a CARPENTER, so that title’s not saying much, fish.
Probably anyone who had nails and lived in Nazareth could’ve sold them to him.
Deacon Jones | February 13, 2009 at 2:58 pm
She could sell granny porn to a pedophile.
n/a | February 13, 2009 at 3:03 pm
So, it’s kind of funny that already two people don’t understand the title. Yeah, the point is SJ is so pretty that she could sell nails to a carpenter. duh.
Jeff | February 13, 2009 at 3:03 pm
She could sell vaginal-scented lip balm to Tom Cruise.
Sandy | February 13, 2009 at 3:08 pm
She could sell tickets for Continental commuter flights to people (still) living in Clarence, N.Y.
Ted Haggard | February 13, 2009 at 3:21 pm
I believe Jesus will be feeling a resurrection
In his loincloth.
lizzy | February 13, 2009 at 3:24 pm
#8 foghat — me too, ughh!
i DO fucking hate her, and i swear she’s overrated… this is the power of makeup and airbrushing, as always. she looks like garbage in those pictures with her ‘dark hair’.
testing | February 13, 2009 at 3:28 pm
A) IS IT PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE FOR HER TO CLOSE HER MOUTH EVER? Seriously she is such a mouth breather
B) I am sick of her pretending to be Marilyn Monroe
C) where did they put her torso?
jojo | February 13, 2009 at 3:40 pm
awww, Fish, now you’re just being cute.
hellyeah | February 13, 2009 at 3:45 pm
#29 – c) in a girdle.
Average from the cans down. Average from the cans up.
Jrz | February 13, 2009 at 3:45 pm
You’re crazy. She couldn’t sell a 6′ hoagie to Oprah.
Joline | February 13, 2009 at 3:49 pm
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M | February 13, 2009 at 3:50 pm
She could sell your mom.
RichPort's Ghost | February 13, 2009 at 3:50 pm
#31 – So, to be clear, only her cans can?
She could sell humor to bootlips. OK, fine, she ain’t a miracle worker.
Jrz | February 13, 2009 at 3:51 pm
Hey, #33….I recommendyou a very intersting place…….the red box with the white X in it at the top right of your screen….yeah…click on that……and then go fuck yourself.
Jrz | February 13, 2009 at 3:55 pm
She couldn’t sell Spanx to Jessica Simpson.
Delgo | February 13, 2009 at 4:20 pm
None of your posts made me laugh.
Beastman AIDS | February 13, 2009 at 4:39 pm
The title of this story made me do laugh poos.
Also Scarlett is fuckin hot and anyone that says otherwise is a swamp rapist.
Clem | February 13, 2009 at 4:42 pm
This woman is not even close to being anything above average looking with a voice that makes her sound like she’s got a permanent cold.
Blah Girls | February 13, 2009 at 4:44 pm
Cue the cat calls! ScarJo is lookin’ mighty fine! Ladies, take notes!
missywissy | February 13, 2009 at 5:45 pm
Why, once a week, is there a Jesus reference that is highly irreverant? Are there that many people out there that are chuckling at shit like that? Thought this site was up on what’s funny. Why is it necessary to include a historical figure that died for the sake of humanity? Is it possible to stick to celebs and leave out digging on people’s convictions????? Christ was tortured and nailed onto a cross in the name of love for everyone, and you think it’s cute that Scarlet Johanssen is so beautiful she could make him do it all over because he should be impressed with her beauty? That’s the stupidest uneducated remark I’ve read, ever on this site. Enough already with all the “baby Jesus” remarks and Jesus this and that mixed with celebrity gossip.
Uncle Eccoli | February 13, 2009 at 6:23 pm
@42
Jesus is sucking my cock right now. He says, “Hi.” Actually, he said, “Mmrphm,” but I’m pretty sure that’s Aramaic-with-a-cock-in-my-mouth for hi.
Christian Guy | February 13, 2009 at 6:25 pm
The title you gave this article was incredibly offensive!!
richsugardaddy | February 13, 2009 at 6:50 pm
You rock scarlett. What happened to the brown hair? You are the stimulus plan, forget obama!
Prepared to get fucked by the long dick of the law. | February 13, 2009 at 6:54 pm
mmm, I love bitches with BIG heads. I’m not talking like big as in ego, I’m talking like big as in colossal (inches etc etc)
Prepared to get fucked by the long dick of the law. | February 13, 2009 at 6:54 pm
mmm, I love bitches with BIG heads. I’m not talking like big as in ego, I’m talking like big as in colossal (inches etc etc)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4IrvkOlRqYA
sote | February 13, 2009 at 7:40 pm
She is absolutely gorgeous, and I’m a girl but I don’t mind admiting when another girl is ubber hot. She is super sexy, her voice, her body, everything about her, even her hubby… oh ryan, I would do you in the kitchen, on top of your bike, wherever you want it!
Guest | February 13, 2009 at 7:41 pm
omg, everybody shut the fuck up!
She’s GORGEOUS!!
Like you’ve seen a girl on the street
who looked as good as her.
She’s beautiful!
Tard | February 13, 2009 at 7:43 pm
Its amazing to me that any “true Christian” holier than thou’s would be on this site at all! Shouldn’t you be off beating your bibles?