Scarlett Johansson is lazy

September 20th, 2007 // 65 Comments
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Scarlett Johansson has been pulling some diva-like moves on the set of her new film “He’s Just Not That Into You.” Us! Magazine reports:

A source tells Us that on her first day, the star, 22, had a driver shuttle her the 100 yards to the set, while costar Drew Barrymore simply walked the distance. (Johansson also asked for three assistants to shield her with umbrellas.)

I’ve got a great “Scarlett is lazy” story. You’ll love this. This one time, she and I were supposed to go out on a date. But Scarlett sent her cousin instead and made up some excuse about Ryan Reynolds or something, I wasn’t paying attention on account of she’s a woman. But, how lazy is that? You can’t get off the couch so you send your crazy cousin who steals locks of dude’s hair in their sleep. Thanks for the warning. This luscious mane didn’t grow itself overnight. No, wait, yes it did. I forgot I drank that whole bottle of Rogaine – and then moved next to the power plant. Radiation makes me forget things.

NOTE: What in the hell is a “Scarlett Johansson?” Who’s superficial? That bottle of Evian in the corner? It should get over itself.

superficial

  1. Ted from LA

    She’s got a decent set of ducks.

  2. Pamela

    Let me be the first to say she could have used the exercise – girl has gotten FAT! Check out those thunder thighs!

  3. Duh

    Urgh! Lazy and a minging biffa. Can it get any worse?

  4. jrzmommy

    I heard she also makes people lounge around her trailer for her because she’s too lazy to do it herself. Wait………….what?

  5. mango

    Wow, she’s really let herself go. In pic #5 you can see all the fat around her waist and thighs. The dude next to her is plenty fat, but he’s slimmer than she is from the waist down.

  6. doodie

    lazy goddamn cunt. i thought i was lazy for cutting a vagina size slit in a pork loin instead of going out to bars to pick up real women, but this just makes me sick.

    Ella..Ella..Ella..A..A..A..A..under my umbArella

  7. havoc

    Another prime example of confusing your paycheck with your actual talent…..

    Besides, she’s fat.

    Like Britney……

    .

  8. Mandy

    Yeah, 3 umbrellas to shield her from the sun…that sounds about right.

  9. Agent

    She really shouldn’t take any more time than she needs to on the set, because that’s time away from her singing career.

  10. pointandlaugh

    I’ve loved scarlett ever since I heard she f*cked benicio del toro in an elevator. Any chick that is into sex in public places is awesome in my book.

  11. Gean

    I bet she sprints when they set up the Kraft Service Table.

  12. Diordnadionarap

    This story is really weirdly written… funny, but different from usual

    Oh, and Scarlett Johansen is hot

  13. zil

    #’s 3, 6, 8….whoever says she’s fat.

    What? Do you guys weight 12 lbs? She’s hardly got fat. And if she has a miniscule amount…HOLY HELL. She’s pretty! She’s very pretty. Nothing should be said about her weight, because she is faaar from fat. She has HIPS! Heaven forbid a woman have hips. Fucktards.

  14. idl3mind

    well, ScarJo is much, much hotter than Drew. I can see how she wants to keep that beautifly milky white skin wrinkle/freckle free.

  15. Pepe Feloniz

    she is a pro pro doing her best to fullfil her contract

    YOU DUESED don’t know how it is to sell your soul to A devil

    look with a heart i hope you still have

  16. Hey #1, you can’t be me. I’M ME!!!!!

    AND…….I think we have the old Fish guy back. It’s all like funny again.

  17. loveyou sunshine

    I’d probably fuck her an entire day, for the price of getting killed. Easily.

    But being that lazy diva bitch doesn’t suit her. She should be a hard working top actress, not a diva with big boobs (lips)

  18. havoc

    Hey #14, zil…..

    You’re fat.

    Like Britney……..

    .

  19. Pepe Feloniz

    you are fat lousy maricans

    destroung whatever is left of you fat lousy amerca

  20. Hecubus

    She needs to get naked in a movie then promptly disappear. She seems to be the only one who doesn’t realise her entire career rests on the fact that people just want to see her tits. Also, fucking three umbrellas in the … SUN ??? What the fuck does she do when it rains ? Smear herself in tanning lotion and lie in the garden ?

  21. Ed Becker ESQ

    #20…uh, what?

  22. Sidney

    She should look at pictures of Jennifer Love Hewitt, when she was Scarlett’s age. You don’t have to be a big fat pig to have nice breasts.

  23. bubba

    haha #20, if you’re going to try to insult americans, you should probably learn how to speak english first.

  24. Pepe Feloniz

    @22. what u waht you’re illitreerat?

    i want TRUE celebritues back on the screen . celbenritie not wotrth mentioning because you never heard of them.

    like – MUHAMMDA ali”

    you have no idea

    i want white caps for my teeth and my facial skon threathed with ultra tred beams so i look 20 years younger

    hahaha

  25. Amesoto

    Ugh..I’m confused.

  26. combustion8

    well you dont get that fat being non-lazy now do you.

  27. Al Pacino

    Folks, cmon now. It’s called method acting. She was just cast in “The Scarlett Hippo.”

  28. cowgurrllll

    Well, she is carrying her own parasol. So I say she isn’t a diva or high maintenance at all!

  29. UNCLE NED

    Wasn’t she sexy at one time?

    Wasn’t she making better films at one time?

    Don’t ever lose that rack, honey, it’s the only thing keeping you afloat

  30. Metric Giraffe

    Pepe, did you … did you say “ultra red beams”? Wouldn’t that be, uh, orange? You want orange beams? That’s a little weird.

  31. tbone

    Wow, she’s a fat little piggie. Or, if you can’t accept that, let’s say she’s just very normal-looking. I’ve never been impressed; how she was ever considered to be a sex symbol is crazy.

  32. Freck

    “I wasn’t paying attention on account of she’s a woman. ”

    BRILLIANT!

  33. Pepe Feloniz

    no! you’re a little weird, metric giraffe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    that`s the stuff i pay thousands of $$ for – i want smooth skin and white theeth!!!

    i want all the creatiity and possibilty float all into new methods of beauty threadment instead of politcal and/or ethical developement

    i just don’t care about children suffering a thousand miles away……

    think of that you well feed, good cared americans!

  34. igroovin

    whats the big deal about her? why is she famous?

  35. tbone

    She was probably pretty smart as a kid, which allowed her to act more “mature” as she played those quirky-girl roles several years ago. But smart doesn’t equal talent, and it sure as hell don’t equal hotness, which is what I want to look at when I plunk down movie dollars. The only reason men might’ve wanted to do her is because she use to be underage, and all those pervs in hollywood are turned on by underage chicks; but now she ain’t underage, she’s never been hot, in fact she’s a fat piggie and should just go away for everyone’s benefit.

  36. zil

    HEY, # 19
    good one. calling me fat. that’s hilarious. never heard that one used before. HAHA, oh man, you burned me. since you see me everyday. and you know me. so well. love you havoc.

  37. sam

    #11 tell as more about elevator.

  38. penis

    This has got to be the dumbest story thing I’ve ever read on this website. Whoever wrote this one, you suck.

  39. alex

    39
    what?

  40. jacknasty

    Whenever she is dressed in normal clothes, and not in a low cut dress with ten pounds of makeup she looks like a pretty average chick with a dumpy mom body.

    also, is it even physically possible for this mouth breather to shut her trap? I’ve never seen a pic of her with her mouth closed.

  41. betenoir

    Hate to break it to you Scarlett lovers, but girlfriend looks preggers! Take a good look at picture #5. Maybe that’s why she’s not into walking. She might be going through a tough morning sickness bout and feels like crap.

    If she ain’t with child then she needs to hit the gym. Not exactly fat, but not toned either.

  42. Will

    don’t care if she’s lazy… I would wreak that any day of the week!

  43. Now that’s the laziness I like to see! Why would you walk if you can have someone drive you? Plus, if I had the option of three people shielding me from the sun like a king, I’d take that over WALKING any day. I think I might put this article on my website. It’s called http://www.lazycollegeguy.com if anyone is interested.

  44. She’s a kike! All jews feel entitled! Remember, they are THE CHOSEN PEOPLE!

  45. justtheobvious

    you sure that isn’t Paul Reynolds from A Flock Of Seagulls? Somebody is an AFOS fan. She raided his closet for sure!

  46. leelee

    If you know anything about production, the line producer usually forces PA’s to drive people no matter what. Drew probably opted to walk.
    Of course the umbrella thing is a little weird…

    @45– yeah, you know you’re jealous.

  47. Lexoka

    It doesn’t matter. She might as well nuke a third of the world, I’d still forgive her.

  48. she’s not beautiful at all..

  49. bsg77

    thank god for photoshop- otherwise this pig with mediocre talent and predictable pseudo-star persona wouldn’t look remotely interesting to consider poking at all.

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