Scarlett Johansson has looked better

July 3rd, 2007 // 131 Comments

I guess Scarlett Johansson has finally gotten sick of being sexy and decided to start looking like this. Instead of owning a mirror, she probably has a giant poster of herself up when she was hot. There’s no other explanation for how she could leave her house wearing my mom’s pants. And I guess she’s still doing the nose ring thing. Because, you know, if you’re gonna look like crap you might as well go all the way. It’s like when her trainer asked her what her target figure was she whipped out a photo of a pear.


  1. Bugman4045

    Are you sure this isn’t Pink? What’s with the nose piercing?

  2. Me thinks she’s overrated.

    I’m multi-talented: I can talk and piss you off at the same time…

  3. Mick

    Considering she was never hot to begin with, These photos look like a dude.

  4. charm

    this looks like something a mom would wear to an amusement park. A millionare has no excuse for dressing this way.

  5. Look who’s the newest lesbian. Rosie would be so proud. I can’t wait till she shaves her head.

  6. stizz

    Dude, she’s still hot. Ya her outfit is ridiculous and i have no idea why she’s wearing mom shorts (nice pleats), but i mean come on, she’s still gorgeous. And that body isn’t pear shaped, its a total hourglass figure.

  7. Carol


  8. #41
    Get over yourself. She is an ugly dog face. If I were interested in ugly dog face dogs, then I might want to fuck her in the ass.
    Right now, my ass is sore, so I wouldn’t anyway.

  9. steve

    short hourglass and pear shapes get fat just looking at a bunch of carrots. Metabolically cursed…look at JLH and Kelly Clarkson, Salma Hayek..overall nastiness.

    Date these girls when they are YOUNG and then run for the taller, toned, Marisa Miller athletic types for the long term commitment. Brooke Burke also…3 kids and friggen amazing toned figure.

  10. Sydney Bristol

    Scarlett’s hotness is a scam. Like #29 said, people think she’s hot when she’s got makeup on and straight blond hair. If you see pictures of her pre-nosejob, you see a below-average looking girl. Yeah, she’s got big cans, but that’s about it. Her pale skin stands out a little and makes her look more real, but she’s no less plastic than anyone else in Hollywood.

  11. The Bor

    “Overrrrraatttteedddd”, she has had one good picture taken of her, the one with the letter sweater. Other than that not even in the top 25 on a good day.

  12. thiz ugly zhit takez
    zhitty picz
    and zhez fatt…
    doezn’t even have
    a boyfriend, fuck

  13. Jillia

    Oh super. looks like krazi kelli discovered dingbats. Yay! *claps hands walrus-like

  14. Chauncey Gardner

    I didn’t think we could find another famous person more piglike than Rosie O’Donnell, but Scarlett is it. Not only that, but her wardrobe and hair are ridiculous.

    I know these bitches try to dress down in their off-time, but she basically looks like a fat, blond Lara Croft with a big bull nose ring. Who’s not going to notice this subhuman vortex of bad taste lumbering down the parkway?

  15. gk

    She is over-rated, as an actress and so are her looks, she has quite a mannish face, but she is blonde and has big tits and that is all Hollywood cares about. She isn’t as bad as Britney Spears though.

  16. HankTheDwarf


  17. Chauncey Gardner


    When you get up to her ass-crack, let us know if she’s a thorough wiper.

    When I saw LOST IN TRANSLATION and they opened with a shot of her ass through almost-see-through panties, it looked filthy as fuck. I get the feeling her hygiene situation is all fucked up.

  18. b

    These pictures are downright bovine. I’m surprised that her stylist / PR people allow her to be photographed with that thing in her nose.

    Especially with those monster udders…

  19. rosie's mustach

    Oh you stupids what you are seeing here is just the transformation of a straight girl into a full on bull dyke.
    People those are lesbo clothes, no straight girl wears clothes like that. You see clothes like that are needed to let other lesbians know that you love the carpet too. Basically Scarlet is taking a one way trip to pink taco lickers city due to her failed relationships with Josh Hartnett and Ryan Reynolds. Because most stupid girls covet those botards she figured if she can’t make it work with them she better get ready for a lifetime of scissoring. So she headed off to Lesbos R Us and bought herself the “I’m new on the dyke market” starters kit, which came with a voucher for a free nose piercing, and then she completely stopped exercising and regained every lesbians favorite body type; the Hershey Kiss (which ironically is the gay man’s favorite type of foreplay). Poor Scarlet she only looks like a male fantasy hottie when dressed up like a screen siren from the past. In normal clothes or this shit her inner lesbian really shines.

  20. jen

    eh. I never understood what was so special about her. Although, at least she doesn’t look like skank-fest Lindsey Lohan.

  21. I like the nose ring. I don’t know why the hell high-waisted shorts or just mom shorts in general are in style right now, but they only look good on someone who is stick thin. They don’t look right on Scarlett, but her top half looks a-ok to me.

  22. Probably Too Old

    I have never understood this girl’s appeal. Whenever I look at her, I immediately think, “Milk cow,” because of her huge, white udders and her open-mouthed, vapid expression. And frankly, that septum ring doesn’t help me avoid those cow-like impressions.

  23. amle

    I think the funniest thing about all of this is that there is a 99.9% chance Scarlett doesnt give a crap what any of you idiots think.

  24. amle

    I think the funniest thing about all of this is that there is a 99.9% chance Scarlett doesnt give a crap what any of you idiots think.

  25. Chauncey Gardner


    If she did, she probably wouldn’t look like such a pig all the time.

  26. Chauncey Gardner


    You totally nailed it. Watch, she’ll end up buying a house in Northampton, MA.

  27. Depraved22

    She needs to get rid of the nose ring & those god-awful shorts. Other than that, she’s very pretty.

  28. 23apples

    Uh wait… this is an ugly picture of her? I thought she always looked like this. Meaning.. not attractive.

  29. Danklin24

    I dont get the fascination with her. She was never really overly hot. Elisha Cuthbert is 10 times better looking

  30. miss oblivious

    wow, she is seriously geeked out. All the way to the bottom of her feet. And whats with that goofy tattoo, is it real? And the nose ring,what is she thinking? Just looks like she has boogies hangin’ out. The funny thing is she actually put a belt on with the shorts, like she was actually making an effort to have some sort of outfit. Always thought she was a bit overrated anyways…and a lesbo. I think it’s her that Jessica Biel is really getting it on with.

  31. Brock

    Okay. I’m an admitted fan of SJ, but it sounds like everyone is trying to out-compete the humor of this blogger–and they’re failing miserably (even putting her in the same sentence with Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears is laughable). I personally still think she’s hot, and I’m a fag. So she’s put on some pounds and is dressed like a “normal” person. No need to alert the press. I mean, I don’t even want to BEGIN imagining what the creeps who’ve commented on HER appearance look like! Sounds like a bunch of sour grapes to me.

  32. woodhorse

    #67 I thought her face was pretty in Lost In Translation but she still had baby fat on her cheeks. Now she looks “horsey” and not pretty at all. She is aging very poorly. This has happened to several young “stars” (think of Britney’s back fat and 27 chins) – I thought Winona Ryder stayed pretty though.

  33. be-ti-na



    This website isn’t even funny anymore. Before it was amusing and made fun of celebrity culture, now it’s just as ridiculous as the rest of it.

  34. Chauncey Gardner


    I don’t know how to break this to you, man, but a homosexual male saying that he finds a particular woman hot is probably not going to be viewed by the average hetero male as the ringing endorsement that you think it is.

  35. Bored Again

    yeah, she looks like shit here but she is gorgeous nonetheless, so pipe down h8rs

  36. nagger please

    Girls who get piercings and tattoos look like idiots.. look at me, I wanna be like the cool girls so I’ll put holes and ink on myself..

  37. Kim

    Oh thank God it’s a nose ring! I thought she had snot dripping out her nose!

  38. you're fired!

    she’s still hot morons- one bad outfit doesn’t make you a fug.

  39. you're fired!

    totally agree with number 36.

  40. jen

    Fat! Are you kidding me?! The girl is fat because she hasn’t decided to succomb to the temptation to look like an emaciated war refugee? That ideology is beyond disgusting. She’s wearing flats which are extremely difficult to pull off, dumpy shorts which are impossible to pull off, and a skinny belt which is again difficult to pull off. Overall I’d give the outfit a zero. However, I think there’s much more to her attractiveness than large breasts and blonde hair. IE, gorgeous eyes, great skin, amazing lips, and a brain/personality on top of all that. Anyone who would deny that this woman is stunning is lying to themselves.

  41. coco

    i never thought she was extremely hot but why did she wants to look like that though? thats crazy and whats up with that piercing? shit she must be like that for a movie or something.

  42. zulumoon


  43. joe

    she’s awesome

  44. theoriginalmilf

    WTF. When are these plump females going to realize that short-shorts are NOT meant for them?

    Ladies, please, do yourself a favor and wear clothes that compliment your body type. Stop trying to wear what the size 0, ten feet tall models are wearing on the runways.

  45. Cherry


    What the hell happened here?

  46. Raul

    I’d still do her

  47. Flavio

    she always dresses ugly unless she’s in a gown of some kind. she is still way hot, her ass is a dreamworld.

  48. my comment

    She looks like every other lost hipster in NYC.

  49. I am having a wonderful day off in my little pool drinking a beer with my guyfriend. My dick is getting ready to be sucked and it’s a marvelous day in my neighborhood.

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