In probably the most prestigious competition conceived by man, Scarlett Johansson has been declared the owner of the “Best Celebrity Breasts” by Access Hollywood. Here’s how others ranked in cleavagey fortitude:
1. Scarlett Johansson
2. Salma Hayek
3. Halle Berry
4. Jessica Simpson
5. Jennifer Love Hewitt
At this time, I’d like to sincerely thank Scarlett’s breasts for getting me through The Spirit. If not for her ample bosom, I would’ve removed both my eyes instead of one. Also, I look pretty bitchin’ with an eye patch.
Photos: Getty
Dogless | April 29, 2009 at 4:02 pm
Shame she can’t act for shit.
mikeock | April 29, 2009 at 4:02 pm
I’d be content to stare at those tits forever. Well, I’d have to close my eyes when she blew me, but that’s just a reflex.
pokey | April 29, 2009 at 4:02 pm
Mmmmmmm. Breasticles.
none | April 29, 2009 at 4:06 pm
IMPLANTS!!!!!!
dirk | April 29, 2009 at 4:07 pm
Bet her PUSS ain’t bad either.
Erica | April 29, 2009 at 4:09 pm
Two reasons why this list sucks:
1) Three of these five women have never actually SHOWN their breasts, so for all we know they could be droopy, lop-sided, weird-nippled or worse.
2) Bigger is not synonymous with best, which should to me refer to shape etc.
Jim Jones | April 29, 2009 at 4:09 pm
Lame. This contest should have been restricted only to those breasts we’ve seen, not ones kept under lock and key.
Bobaloo | April 29, 2009 at 4:12 pm
I cannot agree with this announcement until I see nude photographic evidence of all the women who were considered for this honor.
jumpin_j | April 29, 2009 at 4:14 pm
This list is so dated. Scarlett’s lost weight so her boobs went down, Selma gained weight from the baby so she cheats, and the others just got plain weird. Nah, Megan Fox is the best at least right now.
Famous Plastic | April 29, 2009 at 4:18 pm
What a joke. Scarlett has average boobs…
dirk | April 29, 2009 at 4:19 pm
#6
“weird-nippled” Fcking cracks me up.
Binky | April 29, 2009 at 4:21 pm
I demand a recount !!!
One….Two…
Oh ok.
ummm…Where are the semi-finalists ?
mikeock | April 29, 2009 at 4:25 pm
Dear Ryan Reynolds –
How her beav compared to Alanis Morrisette’s? Something tells me Alanis has a bush that could insulate every home in Alaska if she shaved it,
chango | April 29, 2009 at 4:33 pm
Nice puppies for sure . . . sorry haters, they be fine . . .
Mr. Toad | April 29, 2009 at 4:39 pm
I hate to kick a dead horse here, but WE’VE NEVER FUCKING SEEN THEM.
What was the next story on Access Hollywood? Movie reviews from 2012?
Susie | April 29, 2009 at 4:50 pm
am i the only one that doesnt find this chick attractive at all?? nice boobs who cares you butter face
Jimbo | April 29, 2009 at 4:59 pm
Is this list backwards?
Swagger | April 29, 2009 at 5:01 pm
Where the fuck is Anne Hathaway – that’s a pair of real tits. No show no go -You never know what’s lurking under those hi-tech bras of today. Exhibit A – Tyra Banks before she did her braless show. Fucking nasty.
just | April 29, 2009 at 5:08 pm
Salma and Halle had sets from the gods before the babies gave them unearthly orbs that only two lucky men can fondle.
They win simply because they have better breasts. The list is nonsense.
barroom hero | April 29, 2009 at 5:33 pm
I like SJ…
Jennifer Love Hewitt’s ass is too “business Class’ for my liking tho..
Dave | April 29, 2009 at 5:37 pm
Does this list take into account a Pregnant Halle Berry’s breasts? If so, she goes to #1, if not I have no problem with this list.
dickinabox | April 29, 2009 at 5:53 pm
How is this news? Any man with an erect penis should inherently know the answer to this…
You haven’t seen anything until you’ve seen Macho Man Randy Savage smoke a Bong rip of salvia… AND FREAK OUT:
http://blog.digitalfuntown.com/dft-blog/2009/4/29/macho-man-randy-savage-smokes-salvia-and-freaks-out.html
Mr. Obvious | April 29, 2009 at 5:56 pm
I would have loved to be on the committee that decided that list.
“People, have some coffee, it’s going to be a long day of looking at breasts. Yes, I know we’re not paid well enough for this kind of shit but given the current economy we should happy that we have a job.”
fancy | April 29, 2009 at 6:27 pm
i think ann hathaway should be on the pretty titty list, above halle berry (who’s too old) and why is jennifer love hewitt on the list
while we’re at it can i make a small complaint, love the site but am getting bored, you report on the same ugly bitches over and over, we need more variety in your targets
hogan’s daughter looks like sasquach i don’t need to see her
lindsey is amusing but multiple posts on her in a day man, maybe just once a day is enough
paris is a retart we could see a little less of her
and there are plenty of other hot celebrities out there, where are they at, like ann hathaway or lilly allen,natalie portman, the hot blond chick from heros (not hayden that ugly twat) , or whats that 70s show ladies up to these days, or shots of jon stewart getting coffee,
i just think you need to diversify more
just sayin
the world according to ROUGH! | April 29, 2009 at 6:38 pm
This is an outrage!!!!!!! wheres Katy perry? Halle Berry? who did this list Blackwell?
kitty_kat | April 29, 2009 at 7:39 pm
I’m actually a woman with a larger chest, but I have to wonder: Isn’t it funny how none of these women have smaller breasts? As if they are suggesting that small breasts can’t also be nice breasts?
number27 | April 29, 2009 at 9:50 pm
Erica- You sound flat.
1 MILF Hunter | April 29, 2009 at 10:23 pm
#18 – you got it, Mang. Those are some real ta-ta’s. I’d pay good money to get a good look at those.
vito | April 29, 2009 at 11:33 pm
Carla Gugino…great tits!
Eva Green…ditto!
Jaime Pressly…entire body is fucking magnificent!
ScarJo is definitely a tasty morsel (as are the other lovelies on the list) but I, in agreement with so many others, would like to reserve judgment until I have seen the goods.
Charley Kane | April 30, 2009 at 1:06 am
Impossible judgment to make unless i can actually feel them.
pasteve | April 30, 2009 at 3:55 am
I guess Alyssa Milano is too B-list to make the B List? That rack was the only reason to watch Charmed.
gerard vandenberg | April 30, 2009 at 6:20 am
You think it’s strange alot of celebrities are “FALLING DOWN” today, folks?
……………thank to these comments!!
Darth | April 30, 2009 at 6:40 am
I don’t see those breasts folks.How do they know folks?
Nero | April 30, 2009 at 6:43 am
She probably has the best push-up bra folks!
RichPort's Ghost | April 30, 2009 at 9:38 am
Well that makes it official… I’m naming my motorboat “The Scarlett Love Hayek Berry”.
manni | April 30, 2009 at 11:58 am
I wonder where’s Jessica Biel. Her pair is very fine looking. Even undressed.
Matthew | April 30, 2009 at 2:19 pm
1 anfd 2 I agree 3 should been Jennifer hugetits
samburinya | April 30, 2009 at 6:52 pm
Beautiful Scarlett, from Barcelona i love you!!!
binjai | May 1, 2009 at 1:37 am
i think jack black’s breast is bigger than those in the list.
Janine | May 1, 2009 at 7:28 am
In the last 2 pics, she looks like Evan Rachel Wood and that is not a compliment! She looks waaaaay better as a blonde. It looks to me like she had breast implants before but has taken them out.
Narcissist | May 3, 2009 at 1:15 am
Scarlett J still seems like an acquired taste to me. She’s kinda freaky looking.
CATHY R | May 6, 2009 at 1:20 am
I FUCKING HATE SCARLETTE. SHE’S A FUCKING WHORE,SLUT,CUNT AND BITCH. I FUCKING HATE HER.
james | July 9, 2009 at 8:52 pm
I think Lindsay Lohan has the best breasts in Hollywood – they at least belong in the top five racks, and at least she has the courtesy to show them regularly.
Anne Hathaway’s rack also belongs on this list.
Dorus | July 20, 2009 at 3:47 am
I just love Scarlett’s tits!
Footclan | October 14, 2009 at 9:08 pm
100% with the last part of the article. The spirit was terrible and her tits were the best part. I also think Love-Hewitt should be #3.
Texas breast reduction | March 3, 2010 at 4:40 am
There is not single doubt with her breast. She have a really fantastic boobs. I saw many nude pics of her. The quality of her boobs is it is looking very soft and shape is round. I just love her breast.