Page Six reports that sources from DaTommaso restaurant say Scarlett Johansson was a nervous wreck before getting her first Brazilian waxing at the Oasis Day Spa and that the waxing crew “couldn’t stop admiring her body.”
Hopefully this’ll save you the trouble of ever running up to Scarlett Johansson and asking her what the situation with her pubic hair is. Because trust me, pretending it’s for a school project doesn’t work at all. And you wouldn’t think a 5’4″ girl would be capable of uppercutting a full grown adult through a store window in slow motion as onlookers gasp but you’d be wrong. Because she totally killed my friend Larry that way. Murderer!
mrs.t | September 25, 2006 at 2:29 pm
Must have been the same day as the saggy jumpsuit debacle. You know-loose garments for 24-hours after extreme waxing.
HolisticWisdomcom | September 25, 2006 at 2:30 pm
Waxing is not that painful, you just have to remember to breathe.
Also, I am 5’4″ and I have no problems uppercutting people, I do it all the time in kick boxing. It is all in the level of determination grasshopper.
http://www.holisticwisdom.com
boobiezmagee | September 25, 2006 at 2:35 pm
TEAM BALD POON!
Smivey | September 25, 2006 at 2:38 pm
Since when is a crew required for waxing? Just how much hair did she have down there?
Brain Embolism | September 25, 2006 at 2:38 pm
Mr Superfish,
Slow down on the posts!
We don’t need 27 a day.
This shit ain’t that important.
* A BIG HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ANGRY FERRET JONES *
Madrid Marriott | September 25, 2006 at 3:03 pm
She looks mildly retarded in the two pics with the cloud background. And why is she shooting high school yearbook portraits anyway?
Binky | September 25, 2006 at 3:12 pm
Humm….same black shirt in the way…getting to be a bad habit…
Angry Ferret Jones | September 25, 2006 at 3:12 pm
I can’t wait until that used pube wax shows up on E-Bay! I am going all in!!!
Angry Ferret Jones | September 25, 2006 at 3:16 pm
@6 – I think you are right. If I remember my skool days correctly, those two photos are from “Package B” with backround option “C”.
Extra 8″x10″ for Grandma? Hell yes!
CelebSlam.com | September 25, 2006 at 3:23 pm
Thanks thesuperficial. Great new image to masturbate to tonight!
http://www.celebslam.com
saradevil | September 25, 2006 at 3:28 pm
why is she taking senior yearbook pictures?
PunjabPete | September 25, 2006 at 3:28 pm
Covered with road kill, I tell you….
Boing!
docta | September 25, 2006 at 3:39 pm
Oh shut up. She’s beautiful, and you know it. I think you’d be crazy to disagree. Well, unless you’re a COMPLETE IDIOT and prefer Nicole Richie over Scarlett. Whatever.
TrannyGranny | September 25, 2006 at 3:39 pm
In an effort to right this travesty of injustice that is this uncaring Brazillian wax team I shall creep into her bedroom tonight, and trowel some wax across her perfectly proportioned labia. Then, with the speed of a mongoose on meth I shall rip it all off in one swift motion. Running gallantly naked from her “chambers” I will place this used wax on my freshly shaven head like a toupee, as a monument to ethical waxing everywhere.
And I will lick it to sleep every night for a month.
Brain Embolism | September 25, 2006 at 3:41 pm
Tranny, you mean until Zanna, sweet, sweet Zanna comes home!
Wampoon.com | September 25, 2006 at 3:42 pm
Scarlett Jo-hand me some of that sh…
http://www.wampoon.com
UNWASHEDMASSES | September 25, 2006 at 3:43 pm
Li-Lo needs to steal Scarlett’s PR person. Seems whenever “gossip” about Ms. Johansson hits the net, it’s never really that racy and it always includes something positive (waxing crew couldn’t stop admiring her body, she’s an “old soul”, very intelligent, etc.). As an aside, how old is Scarlett? And this is her first Brazilian?
Italian Stallion | September 25, 2006 at 3:51 pm
“Speed of a Mongoose on meth”………..
Still fucking laughing…………..
thesarahficial | September 25, 2006 at 3:54 pm
That second picture on the bottom looks like a classic school picture.
combustion8 | September 25, 2006 at 3:59 pm
She’s still just a poor man’s (white) jessica alba.
suzy | September 25, 2006 at 4:24 pm
Her shoes are too big.
PunjabPete | September 25, 2006 at 4:52 pm
#20 – That is ridiculous…
These are two equally tasty but different pieces of cheese you are comparing, hoss.
Scar is voluptuous and curvy. Very much the perfect “full” girl. Jess is rock solid and nubile looking. Very much the perfect “thin” girl. Either way pass the nacho chips….
RichPort | September 25, 2006 at 4:56 pm
Her style sucks, I just hope she does too. Because I will bone her. I will. DO YOU HEAR ME SCARLETT??? I will treat you like the cheerleader the whole football team bagged at homecoming. I’ll change your last name to Hohansson. I’ll hang outside of all the worst fashion shops in LA, waiting for you to emerge with a bag full of sanitation uniforms and other shit you’d find at Filene’s Basement. I’ll be on your ass like a pimple. Shit, I’ll even tape razor blades to my tongue and shave whatever that brazilian missed, because to quote Denzel, you know I’m surgical with this, bitch!!!
ValeWolf | September 25, 2006 at 5:02 pm
#20 – Exactly!
#23 – sanitation uniforms! LOL.
Yeah, I don’t have anything else to say.
KevinTheProdigy.com | September 25, 2006 at 5:07 pm
Scarlet must have nuts because you are all over them.
krisdylee | September 25, 2006 at 5:42 pm
Brazilians hurt like a mother-fucker, but they are so worth it for that smooth creamy beaver.
MMmmmm… beaver.
Nuke L.A. | September 25, 2006 at 5:46 pm
hey, how come her tig ass bitties ain’t hangin’ out? what a gyp.
Tits_McGhee | September 25, 2006 at 6:02 pm
Those first two pictures of Scarlett made me flash back to the 4th grade for some reason.
All of a sudden I’m sitting in a chair with a big light in my face. My hair is pulled back in a scrunchie on the side of my head and I have half eaten PB and J in my braces. My jean jumper has an applesauce stain on it while a hairy photographer named “Willy” tells me to say “cheese”.
But Scarlett is sooo sophisticated with her wax and all. I bet she has ingrown hairs filled with pus. SEXY!
Alex | September 25, 2006 at 6:33 pm
Scarlett who? Hey, wait a minute! Isn’t she that voice in Robot Chicken?
Alex | September 25, 2006 at 6:35 pm
#28
Thanks, I’m gonna have night sweats for a fucking month, now!
Steeno | September 25, 2006 at 6:42 pm
Angry Ferret Jones, HAPPY B-DAY!!
i’d like to give you something special….
HollyJ | September 25, 2006 at 6:58 pm
she’s wearing a shirt with tiger print on it ?
and Miss Mormon hairdo ?
WTF?
i don’t get why me are crawling all over each other to get with Miss Fucked-Up-Mandible. Her chin is as big as her cheekbones, for god’s sake.
Happy B’day Ferret man =)
ValeWolf | September 25, 2006 at 7:12 pm
#32 – Mormon hairdo! lol.
Ok, I really need to say something witty because all I’ve done is repeat what someone else has said and put a “lol” in the end…
… can’t think of anything. But I agree with everyone who says the two bottom pics look like high school portraits.
weenis | September 25, 2006 at 7:15 pm
#20 nice try but that’s yesterday’s line. after sadly turning herself into a dead ringer for a skinny white girl, jessica alba herself is now just a poor man’s (white) jessica alba.
krisdylee | September 25, 2006 at 8:31 pm
Dudes, I had the EXACT same shirt in ’89. And by exact shirt, I mean, I think Scarlett might have picked it up at a “Vintage 80′s” Boutique.
PrincessMuMu | September 26, 2006 at 1:02 am
She gets more and more ugly every time I see her.
AmberDextrose | September 26, 2006 at 1:41 am
#2 Wax on. Wax off?
If she goes out with Harry Morton, would he change the restaurant chain to Red Raw Taco?
c | September 26, 2006 at 2:42 am
I really don’t think anybody would care if Scarlett was waxed or not. I mean, hideous jumpsuits aside, she is pretty much always stunning.
http://popanalysis.blogspot.com
knowhere | September 26, 2006 at 3:49 am
she is way too clothed for her own good there.
AmberDextrose | September 26, 2006 at 4:03 am
She’s still so not going to let Italian Stallion go ATM on her though. And that makes the ‘pretty’ factor redundant after a few goes, surely?
Scarlett Taco. Burning Scarlett Taco. Oh god I’m bored. Somebody help me. I need something to replace my 16yr old texter. Have bought stunning new phone as he sullied the last one by association.
Triumph Insult Dog | September 26, 2006 at 7:51 am
Scarlett has this nice sexiness about her that makes you care that she was worried about a wax.
It’s like: What?! Baby, don’t worry. If they hurt the goods, I’m gonna rain hellfire down on all of their entire families!
Women like that kind of talk…
http://www.blackbeatpress.com
jrzmommy | September 26, 2006 at 12:48 pm
So the people at the restaurant know about what happened at her waxing…….because…???
She and K-Fag should do a duet about their Brazillian experiences.
marc of teh place | September 26, 2006 at 10:50 pm
Her forehead looks big. Maybe it’s a trick. Damn them.
RhinebeckCowboy | September 27, 2006 at 1:27 am
You gotta be kidding. This chick is over-rated. Her eyes are too high (or her forehead too short), and she can’t act for shit.
It amazes me that you can do one art movie (Pearl Necklace), and then just because Woody has a woody for you (so you get cast in two of his London movies), the world thinks you can act.
Lost in Translation was held together by Bill Murray, and of course that old drunk had the chemistry for Scarlett – what decrepit viagra’d alchy wouldn’t? – she’s blonde, twenty-something, and half the movie wears only a tank-top and silk panties. But her performance was flat and, well ….. crap.
In addition, she has incredibly bad dress sense, and is turning into a prima-donna with a little bit too much idea of her own importance.
Dahlia sucks (surprise !), Island sucked (tho’ to be fair Ewan MacGregor is half to blame), and thinking about it, her performance in Pear Earring was pretty weak too.
RichPort | September 27, 2006 at 5:36 am
Jessica Alba can’t act either, but that doesn’t prevent me from wanting to give either one of them a pearl necklace…
jrzmommy | September 27, 2006 at 6:28 am
Girl With a Pearl Necklace, starring RichPort and Scarlett Johannsen
jilco | September 27, 2006 at 5:47 pm
WHO
TOOK
THESE
PHOTOS?
She looks like she’s at Olan Mills. And I don’t need to see her up that close.
Funny no. 46
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poker_n_d_rear | September 28, 2006 at 2:19 am
maybe im just old fashioned but i like a lil hair on a pussy, when there completely shaved i feel like the fbi is going to aid my house arrest me and seize my computer
p.s. im not talking the 80′s either maybe just a landing strip or a nice lil picture like a clown on a unicycle juggling 3 tennis balls while an old french monkey smoking a cuban ciggar collects the change from bystanders, i guess a guy can only dream
ATX | September 28, 2006 at 1:32 pm
Who told Young Hollywood that it is cool to dress like your grandparents? Some of these people should be ashamed of dressing like hobos! Especially Scarlett, who is oh so pretty! I think my mom wore that dress in the 80′s!
RhinebeckCowboy | September 29, 2006 at 12:34 am
Shaved generally comes down in two categories, ‘yummy, I want to snack NOW’, or ‘nasty, keep that thing away from my face’.
My predictions:
VILE
Lindsey Lohan (saw it once and lost my lunch)
Paris Hilton (suspicious secretions)
Nancy Grace (bad odor)
Rosie O’Donnell (flabby and sweaty)
Sharon Stone (what are those lesions?)
Kate Moss (unwashed)
Madonna (no idea why, but the idea is revolting)
DELICIOUS
Gwen Stefani (perversion)
Kate Hudson (wholesome)
Kirsten Dunst (freaky)
Heather Locklear (experience)
Ashley Judd (outstanding muscle control)
Gretchen Mohl (fragrent)
I’m on the fence regarding Tara Reid – I have a theory that she probably cleans up well, but probably needs to be soaked for a couple of hours in blue Listerine.