Scarlett Johansson eats it

April 25th, 2007 // 117 Comments

Scarlett Johansson ate it on some steps after the SNL after-party over the weekend because she was trying to avoid the paparazzi by putting a coat over her head. No, seriously. Watch the video. It’s like a scene out of a National Lampoon movie. I’m surprised the government hasn’t already picked her up for her amazing stealth techniques and put her to work for the CIA.



  1. schack

    that’s true. sometimes jimbo is quite clearly fucking me, and vice versa.

  2. Jimbo

    Schack, why wouldn’t I want to fuck you? You are the best

  3. schack


  4. EZ

    Why has nobody questioned the fact that she’s allegedly leaving an SNL after-party but it’s mid-day?

    Are we really to believe that Will Forte is that much fun to hang out with?

  5. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    This just in: Jimbo, Schack and Frist are the same person.

  6. whitegold

    Too funny! I love that she’s trying to act all cool and avoid the pap photos, and in doing so she ends up looking like a moron. Seriously, what the fuck was so wrong with her face that she couldn’t let them get a photo of it?!

    And that assistant that was supposed to be leading her down the steps, oh damn you know she’s being hired!!!

    HAHAHA, I just watched it again, now that’s good tv.

  7. shack

    You know I wanted to fuck your brains out when you were in Chicago.

  8. schack

    i love the way you say that, “huh”

  9. schack

    you spelled my name wrong, #58. idiot.

  10. elf

    she’s yesterday’s news, there are far better ones out there.

  11. Jimbo

    Not me sweetie

  12. schack

    hey, jimbo, if thought and extension are two irreducible realms of explanation, how can thought ever be given a location. like, where is my mind?

  13. jrzmommy♠

    real schack–I had two trolls at once fighting with each other as if they were both me….only one had incorrectly spelled my name. It was surreal.

  14. wedgeone

    …and thus an unlikely friendship is born…

  15. #55 No we’re not…and I have never been trolled, thankfully, because I am not that special.
    Although I do ride the short bus once in a while…:)

  16. daηielle™↵

    Who really gives a damn? Typekey is invaded by millions of parasites on a daily basis. Who can tell the ‘real’ whackjob from the ‘fake’. I thought preschool dismissed ages ago.

  17. Forbidden

    ah, Scarlett, she’s such a fatty.
    another mega-overated Hollywood lady. She’s so piggish. Nice boobs and that’s all, but being the fatty she is the weird thing would be her boobs weren’t that size, they are sized just like the rest of her fatty cellulite body. Cute ok face, kinda piggish too, but doesn’t her face look exactly the same as the face of the vast majority of North America’s women? Boring, piggish, too white, too blonde (in a bad way) and FATTY.
    Please give me exotic hotties with tight bodies and great asses, no more all North American looking super white granny looking boring fatties like Scarlett.

  18. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    This one time I thought I was being trolled and there was three of me but then I just realized it was a hot threesome.

  19. ApacheRose


    Where are you from? It’s one thing to have preferences, quite another to just talk shit about an entire country based on hair color.

    And “fatty” is waaaay overused. You don’t have much of a vocabulary, do you?

  20. Lowlands

    Looks like Scarlet Johansson got kicked out somewhere.This should happen more often to this overrated girl.

  21. wedge1

    #70 = bleached blotchy white fatty.

    “Saucer of milk and two big scoops of (jiggling) cottage cheese, table 70!”

  22. HughJorganthethird

    Hey tit-monster, first day with the new feet?

  23. HughJorganthethird

    #68 your so right. I guess I should just stick to the European women with the hairy armpits, bad teeth and body odor.mmmm sooo hot..

  24. TrippyGoogler


    What makes you think that by “exotic” he means European? I’d take a tight-bodied Latin, Asian, Black or mixed-race hottie over that pale cow any day.

  25. Stitchface


    North America is not a country.

  26. ApacheRose


    Interesting assumptions you made there, Wally.

  27. ApacheRose


    My bad, I wasn’t paying quite enough attention, apparently. I didn’t give #68 enough credit for making broad generalizations.

  28. jrzmommy♠

    Forbidden—face it….you can barely get fatties….tight bodied anythings are way out of your league, regardless of where they’re from.

  29. p0nk

    i can only assume that Forbidden is from Sudan.

  30. woodhorse

    Wally, will you marry me?

  31. wedge1


    People are wise to your inane and insipid material, Wally.

    How you manage to keep track of all the browser windows in which you are trolling people (I count 4) requires a level of insanity that rivals that of Seung-Hui Cho. Now do us all a favor and put a pistol to your head like he did. Don’t forget to load it.

  32. DrPhowstus

    I’m beginning to think you’re ALL this Wally character. Is Wally the generic asshole who pissed everyone offor just the greed upon vilage idiot? Either way, I think I have about 15 Wallys at work I need help with.

    As for Scarlett, she could fall on my face anytime.

  33. HAHAHAHAH. Oh, I wish I could afford three people to pick me up whenever I fall down.

  34. DannyJames

    what a fuckin idiot.

  35. tits_on_snack

    Fucking yes.
    I used to love this girl, but after Lost In Translation she went downhill at mach speed.

  36. jrzmommy♠

    Wally knows ApacheRose is a MILF…

  37. p0nk

    #87 – you forgot “self-professed”

  38. radically4peace

    Perhaps her friend should have actually help her hand instead of dragging her down the stairs and running away.

  39. p0nk

    cool, wally is back to trolling me again.

  40. ApacheRose


    He’s a busy little bastard, isn’t he?

  41. Skip Smith

    >>”Where are you from? It’s one thing to have preferences, quite another to just talk shit about an entire country based on hair color.”

    Fuck you whitey.

  42. Shanipie

    Good…I Hate that Skank. HAHA! *Points and laughs*

  43. FRIST!!!

    I think it’s hilarious when famous people DON’T want their picture taken so they draw more attention to themselves by trying to cover up and falling down causing injury and embarrassment….WTC!!!

  44. no1justminda


  45. Was she practicing for the Olympic long jump? cause if she was wow she needs more practice

  46. i got a revision lol strike the last one from the record..

    **Was she practicing for the Olympic Jacket Head Covered long jump? cause if she was wow she needs more practice

  47. WTFiswrongwithUppl

    The Sweeney/Electra was much better.

  48. Goonly

    Perhaps she shouldn’t walk down steps with a jacket over her eyes?

  49. Dank

    You’d think that big nigga beside her would hold her hand but the dipshit lets go. I smell a lawsuit.

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