Scarlett Johansson eats it

April 25th, 2007 // 117 Comments

Scarlett Johansson ate it on some steps after the SNL after-party over the weekend because she was trying to avoid the paparazzi by putting a coat over her head. No, seriously. Watch the video. It’s like a scene out of a National Lampoon movie. I’m surprised the government hasn’t already picked her up for her amazing stealth techniques and put her to work for the CIA.



  1. sportsdvl

    Man, she hasn’t gone done that fast since our first date! LOL

  2. The cowl, the cowl, why the fucking cowl?

  3. sportsdvl

    Take the friggin’ jacket off of your head and maybe you’d see that last step Scarlett!

  4. thebor

    Watch out for that last step, its a lou lou.

  5. Watch for falling coatheads!

  6. schack

    there’s hardly anyone there… who’s she running/hiding from?

  7. Skip Smith

    What the fuck. Like we don’t know what she looks like.

  8. shanonorato

    Finally! I’ve been waiting for the day she gets humbled.

  9. Jimbo

    Andy Samberg gave her some gum on her way out. Wiseass.

  10. fergernauster

    Are you sure that’s even her?

    From the looks of those sausage gams, I’m convinced it’s Britney.

  11. Skip Smith

    I guess she’s trying to hide her face so that the paparazzi don’t get an interesting photo of her. How’s that plan working out, Scarlett?

  12. Yeah, like that’s really her.

    The laws of physics don’t apply to attractive famous people.

    Must be some ugly, nobody decoy.

  13. echz

    fancy footwork! better steps than Heather Mills!

  14. Jimbo

    I think she suddenly recognized somebody she met online.

  15. The car’s fifteen fucking feet away! Instead of looking like a normal human being just walking to their car, now she look’s like a stupid bitch. Unless she’s hiding something really crazy, like a vagina smack dab in the middle of her forehead, what an unnecessary thing to do.

  16. InvaderZim

    That was pretty great… what was also great were her boobs during the opening bit on a hi-def tv.

  17. whackjob

    “I know I’m on every fucking magazine cover in the world, but I refuse to be photographed in public!”

    Probably cuz she ain’t getting paid.

    The body is rock-solid but that fish-face…what the hell. In a world of several billion girls her age she’s just one. At least she’s a dumb one with a jacket on her head for no reason who deservedly falls down stairs. Dumbass.

  18. #10- Sausage gams??

  19. fergernauster

    Her “assistant” – the woman on the right – actually pulled her down. Aha ha ha ha ha ha!!!

  20. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    This wouldn’t be the first time she’s had bruises on her knees.

    What I’m trying to say is, she’s a slut.

  21. thestraightshooter

    Isn’t this a little late for a Gerald Ford tribute?

  22. jrzmommy♠

    A few generations from now they’ll show this in elemantary schools and call it “When Idiots Roamed the Earth”

  23. dogonabone


  24. theredsnapper

    ya, what a clumbsy hooker.. get her a clear jacket

    im tired of beat up clams that have this star mentality. eat the rich..

    i laughed at the fish face comment.. hehe!

  25. schack

    you know, like, she gets down on her knees…

    like, to suck COCK…

    like sluts suck cock.

  26. Binky

    Actually that’s one of the main reasons I stopped wearing a coat on my head.

  27. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    Q: How many cocks could a cock-choker choke if a cock-choker could choke cocks?

    A: Seven.

  28. thestraightshooter

    Actually, isn’t this Hollywood in a nutshell? Having to have handlers wisk you away by any means necessary to create some illusion of importance where in reality there is just another plain girl with an either natural or surgically enhanced body?

    Scarlett is like so many others in Hollywood, interchangable, unspectacular and forgotten without having things like this take place to draw the look-e-loos.

    Where her PR group failed the biggest was by not having “SCARLETT” embroidered somewhere on her jacket so we’d know who exactly it was acting like a jackass.

    Maybe the next droid will learn from this.

  29. yesdnil311

    To be fair, it looks like the girl that was leading her kind of pulled her down the stairs…

  30. yesdnil311

    To be fair, it looks like the girl that was leading her kind of pulled her down the stairs…

  31. lambman

    Well Scarlet is a BROW-BAGGER for sure, so you’d think that covering her face would work out really well for her…I guess not.

  32. itspat

    i bet her front airbags deployed during the crash

  33. mimi

    @30 I was going to say the same thing.
    The woman didn’t appear to even slow down or come back to help her up.

  34. schack

    why didn’t they put up an inflatable, opaque plastic tunnel connecting the doorway to the car? every star’s car should come with that option.

  35. FRIST!!!

    At least we know for a fact it wasn’t Lindsay, or else she would have struck a pose on her way down.

  36. chaunceygardner


    I have it on good authority that Barry Manilow has just such a system for getting in and out of his car.

    I would totally fuck Scarlett in the face and titties, and maybe also her vagina, but sometimes I find her somewhat unattractive. She’s a little bit of a butterface case. But I’d still totally fuck her tits and face, and maybe the vagina.

  37. Jimbo

    Wow I am being trolled. Thanks I know who did it.

  38. schack


  39. Jimbo

    Hey FRIST how are you doing today. Are you feeling better?

  40. daηielle™↵

    She made love to that sidewalk.

  41. Donkey

    I can’t stand that bitch.
    This is AWESOME!

  42. schack

    wow, chauncy. the fact that you would certainly fuck her in every way but the one that would give her pleasure makes you out to be such a cold and intimidating man beast, whose libido for death and destruction comes second only to mao zeDONG.

  43. Jimbo

    Schack – who do you think would do that to me???

  44. schack


  45. KoRneY

    She wasn’t pulled down the stairs. I don’t think the girl even had a grip on her hand. I’m sure if I walked down some stairs with a cowl on my head, I’d fall and break my legs and have to crawl to the hospital because I don’t have a gaggle of fucks to put me into an armored van.

  46. FRIST!!!

    Hi Jimbo, I’m doing ok, work is just freaking me out today. STRESS!!!!

    Hi Schack, where ya been?

  47. schack

    i’ve been busy fucking jimbo- the REAL one

  48. Jimbo

    You forgot “with”

  49. Jimbo

    Me too So busy I have gotten my own troll just like #49

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