Scarlett Johansson at Match Point premiere

December 9th, 2005 // 40 Comments

sjohansson_matchpoint.jpgEven if she does expect cars and unicorns for Christmas, the fact that Scarlett Johansson can squeeze into a tight dress and has no problem pushing her breasts up for the world to see make her okay in my book. There aren’t many modern women around that are still willing to pander to the male species by getting their breasts as ginormous as possible, and that’s why a class act like Scarlett Johansson will be loved forever. And by ‘loved’ I mean masturbated to. And by ‘forever’ I mean until she gets old. Because old people are gross and smelly.


  1. Lynette Carrington

    Well, it’s good to know that in the event of a water crash-landing in an airplane, Ms. Scarlett has her own floatation devices.

  2. rivercmb

    I want to attach a baby goat to those bad boys. I like the red whore # 5 lipstick she has too.

  3. M@

    You know I think I used to have a couch in the same material as that dress.

  4. Megan

    “There aren’t many modern women around that are still willing to pander to the male species by getting their breasts as ginormous as possible….”

    Um, yeah there are…like 75% of women in this country and 99% of women in Hollywood…

  5. Jewbacca

    I’d like to pop all those zits on her face. I bet she has a lot on her ass also. Though, neither flaw would stop me from banging her out the frame.

  6. mutterhals

    I would just like to say that jewbacca’s a real sicko; none of those zits are even ready to be popped! It’s a delicate process. Anyhoo, I’d also like to say that she has some fabulous, comforting boobies, and that’s good for her, b/c her face is a tad furgly.

  7. blipblip

    I like her shoes!

  8. It’s Scarlett!

    Hurray Scarlett!!!

    The last actual feminine looking young actress in Hollywood.

    And I see that her bodice ripping…..powers are still in effect.

  9. courtney

    I think she’s fugly, but I love how she isnt ridiculously skinny! Having said that, she’s still probably a size 2, compared to most of Hollywoods size -4.

  10. Gerry

    Umm I dunno, I really like Scarlett. But did she need to take a bath in the foundation?

  11. Bob Denver

    Hmm… I didn’t know melons were in season…

  12. Zapp Brannigan

    i am typing this w/ 1 hand.

  13. Miss Scarlett. In the bedroom. With rope.

  14. The Devil

    She’s a good-looking woman, whatever she wears.

  15. Nikk The Templar

    “Miss Scarlett. In the bedroom. With rope.”

    You are so right.

  16. Swingline

    watch “the island” closely…they digitally cleared her skin on all of the close ups

  17. boo

    her boobs seem like they’re gonna pop out of her dress. if we stare too long (in the memorable words of santy claus and others in A Christmas Story), you’ll shoot your eye out, kid.

  18. Binky

    If anyone wants to digitally clear me – fine. Personally – I get tired of picking my nose. However Scarlett – I do give a damn – and when we go out you won’t have to wear dresses that turn the puppies purple. Even though purple may be the new black…

  19. sallysal

    dress looks uncomfortable & too tight.
    also thought she had a bullring in her nose? is it hidden or is that a myth?

  20. hafaball

    Where is she anyway? Is she just in some mall showing off her cleavage? I see the red line in the back, and the red carpet, but it looks pretty empty.

    Boobies! O.o

  21. Cheyenne_1

    AP (Dec 05): In a significant stride for medical science. Doctors have performed the first successful buttocks transplant. Pictured is Scarlett Johansson proudly displaying the transplanted buttocks.
    The buttocks dono is said to have been a brain dead boy, and teh donors family wish to be left alone at this time.

    Now, closeted gays everywhere can masturbate wildly, satisfying thier subliminal urges to be butt riders without having to come out of denial.

  22. vanya_k

    Yeah, she does look like she has a buttocks on her chest. How kind of the donor’s family to provide. *smirk*

    Proof there’s such a thing as ‘too much of a good thing’.

  23. derekd

    Is she doing a role that requires her to look that she’s in circa 1940′s? I mean the hair, the plump body, the lipstick. Not that I am complaining. I think women’s style was incredibly sexy back then. Except the fact that when you spread the legs back then typical jungle sounds would emerge. Down with hair. Thank god for the overthrow of the big bush. And any woman nowadays, hetero but especially lesbian still sportin’ that shit, shame on you!

  24. zena marie

    Newsflash derekd: adults have pubic hair. 13 and under usually don’t. Can you say “pedophilia”?
    The porn style of shaved/waxxed pubes plays to the child porn tastes.

  25. reeeeka

    She looks beautiful…sometimes she’s one that can look ugly though it’s weird.

    Her boobs look awesome in this picture.

  26. derekd

    Uh, NEWSFLASH ZENA MARIE. People are TRIMMING downstairs nowadays whereas before it was all grown out. No one said anything about totally bald. I feel sorry for your partner. Yeesh! TRIM THAT STINKY PIE HOLE!!

  27. TheRegulator

    Does this little girl not know how to stand and pose properly???
    In every single picture I have ever seen of this midget she is standing pigeon-toed.
    And hunched over.

  28. sadietolstoy

    She’s a pretty girl. And I think her lips and boobs are real.

  29. Sheva

    Well it’s funny I spoke to these 20 year old college interns and they both spoke disdainfully of her. They wouldn’t say why but as a guy, this picture is Exhibit A.

    She does need some training on poise. Pigeon toed is no way to go through life in photos Scarlett.

  30. zena marie

    LOL! When you only sex comes from slobbering at porno derekd, then anything other than “shaved/waxxed” crotch looks wierd. “Stinky”? yeah… something other than a magazine page does have some odor, poor twit.

  31. Michael1

    C’mon lay off of derekd, zena marie. It’s not at all nice to make fun of someone who’s saving his virginity for Scarlett (as long as she waxes her crotch Hehehe!).

  32. I am a big fan of boobies, and am now a big fan of Scarlett Johansson.

  33. Elizabeth

    Looks like somebody needs a milking …

  34. geena

    I don’t care what any of you all say, she is HOT HOT HOT! I don’t know why some actresses feel the need to starve themselves.

  35. HollyJ

    Whether or not to groom one’s crotch is a personal issue, but I DO find it amusing that people that don’t groom their pubes get all defensive and accuse people that DO keep their privates tidy as pervs or people trying to satisfy pervs… Isn’t this just a difference in personal grooming styles?

    It’s a matter of choice… Some women like to be trimmed and waxed so things look nice and neat… And some men vomit when they see a huge unruly muff big enough to house a small field mouse. It’s all about personal taste.

  36. Michael1

    The idea of a guy vomiting because a woman hasn’t primped her crotch and has a normal bush is beyond hilarious. Can you ay “anal retentive”? I guess those type of “men” just had to do without before waxing crotches became popular.
    *jeez* Get a life.

  37. slinkhard

    Wow, HollyJ, you psychically know who waxes their pubic hair or not just from their typing on the internet? That’s impressive!

  38. ~S.Starr~

    Downstairs grooming is personal taste…but seriously…I have never met a man that likes his woman to have the amazon downstairs. I am a firm believer in waxing…no man want to have to come up for air and pick pubes out of his teeth…oh god it makes me nautious just to think about it.

    “things that make you go blahahhahah”

  39. Michael1

    S.Starr, the men you’ve interviewed about whether they refuse to have sex if the chick hasn’t waxxed her crotch must have been 1) not very many 2) very twee and squeamish about sex in general, like the kind who get up and wash, right after sex (“eeew icky ody fluids!”). Pretty pathetic.

  40. I'd also say you have a fabulous, crazy comforting and good for her, b / c the face is a bit furgly.

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