Scarlett Johansson goes for $40,100

March 14th, 2008 // 57 Comments

Scarlett Johansson’s eBay auction ended on Wednesday and some guy from the United Kingdom paid $40,100 for an evening with the actress. Here’s a run down of what he’s in store for from the auction page:

The winning bidder will receive:
* Two tickets to the world premiere of He’s Just Not That Into You. The premiere location has not yet been determined but will be in either Los Angeles or New York this July.
* Chauffeured car service to the premiere
* Hair and makeup for one by Privé
* A meet and greet with Scarlett Johansson at the premiere

Now here’s what Scarlett Johansson’s in store for: Using some investigative journalism (Watch and learn, Dateline), I scoped out the winning bidder “bossnour’s” recent purchases. Since the beginning of 2008, this rich clown has bought three hair straighteners, no less than five pairs of Pumas, two tweed blazers, a metallic bomber jacket, a book on medicine ball exercises, a Corvette headlight and two distressed trucker hats. He also had one mysterious purchase that is listed as private. I’ll assume it’s a steel drum full of rohypnol. So, ScarJo is either in for the most awkward night of her life in the backseat glove compartment of a Corvette, or she’s going on a date with Ashton Kutcher. Whichever it is, may God have mercy on her soul.

Photo: eBay
superficial

  1. whatev

    so she’s like 10 Ashleys.

  2. airr3ca

    that’s cheap.

  3. Gerald_Tarrant

    Somewhere in New York Elliot Spitzer is high-fiving himself for getting a bargain. The eBay listing said Scarlett would not do ATM. Good for you Elliot, good for you.

  4. whatev

    There is something very unhealthy about your ATM obsession. It’s fucking gross man. And if you actually ever did find a girl willing to do that…. ah, surly there is NOT a girl out there willing to do that. But my point is your constant affection toward the idea is quite disturbing.

  5. Grunion

    How much extra is the salad tossing?

  6. huhwat

    Corvettes don’t have a back seat.

  7. Harry Ballzack

    @3 – I fail to see the eroticism in sucking on a shit stick
    Just does not turn me on dude – yur -on-yur-own

  8. treeka

    Corvette’s don’t have back seats. So maybe she’ll be in the trunk. ;)

  9. Auntie Kryst

    All that money for an autograph and photo shoot. After all the bullshit is said and done, I am curious how much money actually gets into the hands of the charity.

  10. Gerald_Tarrant

    Hey, it’s not my obsession, it’s Spitzer’s.

    I’m willing to bet the Kim Kardashian goes for that. Hell, she got pissed on. I’m not sure which is worse. I would never treat a woman like that. Although Kim K doesn’t qualify as a woman, more like a toilet.

  11. NiceTom

    No where does it say your going on a date. All it mentions with Scarlett, is a brief meet & greet. You get 2 movie tickets for the premiere, your hair cut, and a ride to the show.

  12. 23apples

    Meet and greet, eh? So that lasts, what, 5 minutes tops? That’s totally how I would spend my 40,000 dollars. That I don’t have.

  13. sam

    40k for a meet and greet? How much for her to greet my meat?

  14. gotmilk?

    a meet & greet is hardly a “date” or and “evening with the actress” this dude is totally getting ripped off. serves him right for thinking she’s attractive. something is just not right with her face in that picture.

  15. JJ

    Hopefully he’ll at least get a hand job.

  16. I wonder if it comes with a motorboat?

  17. mw

    Judging by his shopping list I’m guessing that he’s rally paying for the “hair and makeup for one by Privé” and would rather skip the meet and greet.

  18. D. Richards (Romantic.)

    I’d pay forty-thousand dollars to meet Scarlett Johnasson — only under the stipulations that I was permitted to shit in her hair and fist her cunt.

    Who am I kidding? I hate Scarlett Johansson. Die, bitch!

  19. whatev

    fist her cunt? jesus man. I’m guessing you like to suck on shitty dicks too. Oh, wait. You just ARE a shitty dick.

  20. Nasty Evil Little Man Woman Hater Too

    Fist her cunt? Damn man, why not just fuck her real hard like a man?

  21. veggi

    WOW! That sounds about as exciting as when I put sun chips in my sandwich..

  22. Dick Richards (Scumbag.)

    #19? Are you a tiny-little woman? Maybe you’re a legal assistant to some ambulance chaser. No — maybe you work at a used car dealership. No — whatever you do, it allows for your widening hips and descending self-esteem.

    And you’re a moron. #3 was making a joke that, you, and most, of the creatins posting here, obviously didn’t get.

    What’s up with all the nubes?

  23. frankin

    She is so gorgeous. But I am very cucious. Why did she post her profile on a celebrities and wealthy website named “meetingwealthy.com”.. What is she looking for there?

  24. D. Richards (Transgendered.)

    #20 — Because, I have ‘ED,’ which is coupled by ‘IBS.’

    Dense.

  25. Some noobs can’t handle the truth. ATM is a degenerate degrading sex act for women, so it makes cocks extremely hard and happy. That’s just the way things work. Don’t blame me, blame God or whatever “god” the dark-skinned losers believe in right before the Christian God’s army kicks their ass.

  26. DMB in da ATL

    The ‘private’ item was a hydroponic grow lamp…for his greenhouse, I’m sure.

    ashton kutcher’s hat
    pete wentz’s hair
    smoked up like woody harrelson
    posh spice’s silver jacket
    any random rap star wannabe’s blingy gold watch
    turtle’s kicks
    and jack lalane’s workout routine…

    SWEET.

  27. Gerald_Tarrant

    Thanks Dick. I’m glad there are still some people left with a sense of humor. My bet is that “whatev” either has a husband who begs for ATM nightly, or doesn’t have a husband because she won’t do ATM, or is a militant lesbo who feels that ATM is just man’s way to show how dominant they are over women.

    Of course, she could still be a crazy lesbo who feels she invented DTM and thinks we stole her term.

    It means Dildo To Mouth for those sitting there getting ready to Wikipedia ‘DTM’. Fucking rubberheads.

  28. Hecubus

    Goddamn I’d be mightily pissed off if I payed for a date with Scarlett Johansson and then they told me I was just gonna waste a few hours sitting on my own in some shitty movie and then get to stand awkwardly next to her for a few minutes afterwards while she mingles with Hollywood cocksuckers. I mean damn, I’m not expecting that she gives him a handjob even but she should at least have the decency to go out for the night with him.

  29. Joe

    If she ignores him for the entire evening, he’s entitled to rape her in the bathroom.

  30. doesn't_matter

    The auction clearly stated that it was only a quick “meet-and-greet”. I’m sure that the dude never thought that he was going on a date with her. Some people just have nothing better to spend their money on…

  31. Troy

    Even better, the “private” purchase was from a guy who sells “Grow Lamps” for some massive buds. I think you could run with that as well.

  32. Troy

    Even better, the “private” purchase was from a guy who sells “Grow Lamps” for some massive buds. I think you could run with that as well.

  33. Pat

    I’d rather spend $4,000 for a couple of hours with Ashley Dupre than $40,000 for 5 minutes with Scarlett Johansson.

  34. Ted from LA

    Was Client #9 in on the bidding?

  35. just curious

    hmmm…someone from the UK…i’ll bet its prince charles…he sick of being married to that wrinkled up old hag already….he’ll do anything for a night out with someone young again…even this loser…

    Bonus for him if she wears low cut dress…heard he’s obsessed with breasts.

  36. Sarah

    40K for a freakin’ meet and greet?

    The people who got Gene Simmons got to go to dinner with him.

    I mean, I realize it’s a girl, and we have to be safe with ScarJo–but for god’s sake, at least eat a sandwich with him.

  37. Reggin

    ahaha i was watching robot chicken last night (yeah…) and they did a skit where some nerd won a date with scarlet johansson, and then i see this. Hahaha weird.

  38. IKE

    I hope that AN HOUR, if not, “Kristen” could teach her a thing or two about “finance.” :)

  39. The Troll of Ript

    Listen Bunsmiths, Ript didn’t write that shit. Some maniacal fucking asshole with a pathological desire to rule a giant ant farm – the world’s largest – growing out of his anus – did.
    A strong but unloved baby, it survived by feeding off the hatred of his parents and the insects that swarmed his filthy hole in the floor where he was left to dwell. It grew, this sexually ambiguous young Trolling, having stored the manifest energies of perversion and discord from his family’s disgust towards his pathetic existence. It grew and grew and did not stop growing. Greedily, it hobbled unnoticed amidst the environs of men, absorbing every profanity and disfiguration selfishly calling deformity and disease his art. Despising procreation for wasted energy, he devoured his own genitalia.
    And then when he learned nothing and saw only shadows, he sequestered himself back in his hole and became…the worst Asshole on the Cyberplane…the Troll of Ript.
    Like an eternal maggot that has eaten his host to dust, the repulsive worm (I) vanishes in the indignities of his own sorrow, shame, and ignorance. But lies in stasis…awaiting new flesh to devour…pungence…

  40. Scarlett

    The Troll of Ript, I say go for it and get that astonishing peice of work published.

  41. Postmortemg

    “Fist her cunt? Damn man, why not just fuck her real hard like a man?”

    Damn straight. You’re all gay.

  42. Postmortemg

    “Fist her cunt? Damn man, why not just fuck her real hard like a man?”

    Damn straight. You’re all gay.

  43. agreeone

    She is beautiful. Is she single now? I saw her profile on millionaire&celeb dating site “W e a l t h yR o m a n c e. co m” lat week. Just curious.

  44. jo

    lololol. i LOVE thesuperficial

  45. rosa

    scarlett johansson ?? I just found some of his photos on another tallwomen seeking fun site seekingtall.com, but my question is what he is doing with such a service. he wanna a sex/tall women for ..?? terrible..

  46. Arguman

    only $40,000??? what was the point? Why didn’t she just dump $40,000 on this charity out of her own purse?
    She made $16 million in 2005. her earning potential has most likely risen since then. 16 million = 400 $40,000s.
    So instead of these rich actors and actresses donating their own millions they put on a show to have some dunce give away money he should just donate privately if he’s at all concerned with the charity. stupid

  47. rosa

    beautiful woman, you are making a great thing! did you joined sugarmatchmaker.com, a site for rich men to date sexy women? I just found many people here keep talking it these days! I need the answer from you!

  48. Becky

    Haha, the private sale was probably for a “growlamp” which is often used in the aid of growing pot. I just used my “sleuth” skills and looked at the items being sold from that seller.

  49. rosa

    Scarlett Johansson’s
    she is so beautiful.. but someone said she joined an online service sugarmatchmaker, a place for rich men to spoil and support sexy women..

  50. trixie jones

    celebs do donate to charity… so they could write it off their taxes

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