Scarlett Johansson Wants Sean Penn To Have All This Sexy Again

June 9th, 2011 // 59 Comments

“Blargh.”

Here’s Scarlett Johansson on location for The Avengers in New Mexico this morning and looking like absolute hell which isn’t going to win Sean Penn back. Oh, yeah, that’s happening. Us Weekly reports:

On June 4, the Avengers star didn’t seem ready to give up on their unlikely romance. At Spike TV’s Guys Choice Awards in L.A., she scrambled for face time with the Oscar winner. “She pushed herself into his conversations,” a witness tells Us. “She sat down between him and Robert De Niro. Robert was like ‘What?’ and made a face.”
Johansson also made sure they were snapped together. “A photographer asked for a shot,” the source says. “Before Sean could say no, she said yes.”

When you’re a reasonably attractive young woman who gets kicked to the curb by a chain-smoker twice your age with the face of punched-in testicle, it’s really time to start examining the decisions in your life. Now, I’m not gonna be a dick and say you probably talked too much, I’m gonna be a friend and say you probably talked too much. You talked too much.

Photos: Fame

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  1. It had to be said

    Jennifer Garner? You look rough, girl.

  2. Cock Dr

    I hope this story isn’t true. Feel some sorrow for a successful young woman, fresh off a divorce, getting abruptly dumped by an old man who looks like a moldy raisin.
    Then again, it was Sean Penn. She’s an idiot.

    • TomFrank

      I’m going to suggest that this is probably the first time someone broke up with her (as opposed to the other way around), and she doesn’t know how to handle it.

      • Sharon

        I doubt that. I bet Ryan Reynolds dumped her whiny ass too. It seems like what she can’t take is, being dumped by 2 completely different guys in a row. Who obviously came to the same conclusion. Wake up Scarlett. It’s not them. It’s you! I mean, to follow your ex to an event and then orchestrate a photo so the world will think that you’re still together is just plain psycho! Sounds like something Jessica Biel did with Justin Timberlake back 2009-10. The difference that he’s a pussy and fell for it. Whereas, Sean didn’t!

    • Dan

      Agreed… that is what Sean Penn does. He has a large body of evidence showing everyone that this is what he does. Seriously, what did she expect.

    • Artofwar

      ….Nothing like a large dose of rejection, to teach a young girl a-bit dose of humility…..Artofwar

  3. Richard McBeef

    can i use my other hand or something to un-masturbate to this girl. i’m feeling some shame and not just because Jesus was watching the whole time.

  4. Any Guy

    c’mon Fish. you gotta try a little harder than that. slap some make-up on that girl, take the sour puss off her face and I’m THERE. after she washes off the Penn stink of course.

  5. Scarlett Johansson No Make Up Avengers
    Melissa
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks fat!

  6. junior dos santos by KO

    I wonder whats in that blender bottle

  7. Schlomo

    Oh please. “Reasonably attractive”? Scarlet is one of the most beautiful actresses alive.

    • rusty shackleford

      pfffffft….overrated. You may be right, but that’s not saying much for the other actresses.

    • The Lord Almighty

      Lol she’s a 6 at best and that’s after her nosejob and full on spackle makeup.

    • Artofwar

      Schlomo must yet to have witnessed the visual tragedy that is Oprah, sans make-up. And in addition you may as well include 98% of all Hollywood tang regardless of age and color, of which you only THINK are hot, yet not.

      It is time for men to pan out the smoke and mirrors, and pierce through to the tricks of female’s illusion games, and finally concede to the fact that——paint, makes a woman what she ain’t……Artofwar

  8. rusty shackleford

    Hey all you libtards: since you definitely won’t see this on the lefty hack sites you frequent, just thought I’d let you all know….

    PALIN WAS RIGHT ABOUT PAUL REVERE AAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAA

    http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/washington/2011/06/sarah-palin-says-paul-revere-warned-the-british.html

    suck it, bitches!

    • It had to be said

      HA! HA! HA! Apparently you didn’t see the video in which she looked like a grade schooler rapidly making up all the shit she could. You guys are awesome.

      By the way, I only replied because in light of the above I’d rather masturbate to Sarah Palin than Scarlett Letter up there. Egads. What has the world come to?

    • nahhhh

      You can’t seriously watch the clip of her stammering out that bullshit and believe she had any fucking clue what she was on about, can you? I don’t care which side you come from, she was obviously speaking just to hear her own voice.

    • right

      The frightening part is some in the U.S. actually are brainwashed by Palin. Watching Palin attempt to restate history was laughable.

      • RackEmUp

        No kiddin- I’ve heard there are people in all 57 states that like Palin, even on this date in 2008. Which is stunning- surely there’s a word in Austrian for this, just can’t think of it.

        It’s enough to make me have an asthma attack- good thing I got my breathalyzer, which I can afford because my insurance rates have gone down 3,000 percent.

    • vitobonespur

      So let me get this straight…you’re all tickled pink and full of yourself because Sarah Palin, with room-temperature IQ, finally, accidentally, got really close to a correct answer on a question about American History?

      Well…I suspect that has never happened before, so maybe you’re right and that IS something to celebrate. Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

      • RackEmUp

        Yeah- if only she had an electronic device, that displayed words that scrolled which she could then read aloud in a convincing manner. Even better, if she had two of them. Then whenever she spoke in public, even if she were in India or something, she wouldn’t have to think at all, she would just have to read aloud.

        Nah, that’s silly- only a stuttering drooling idiot would rely on that- the public would never be fooled into thinking she was “articulate” and “brilliant” if all she did was read someone else’s words off a couple teleprompters.

        Crazy talk.

      • You know, Rack old chum, you don’t make Sarah Palin look smart when you post this stuff. You don’t make Obama look dumb, either. All you really do is fill any reader who is also a *reader* with a feeling of revulsion tinged pity. You know, like seeing a pitbull with rabies frothing at the mouth, walking stumbling circles in the street, snapping at its own flesh.

        Why? Well because there really isn’t any connection between “he went to warn the British that they weren’t going to take our guns” and the truth of he was captured by the British, keeping him from completing his ride, and told them there were a lot more guys waiting to fight them than there really were. And by the way, he wasn’t ringing no bells. None at all. That would be Johnny B Good and it was from a pop song. And teleprompters? Yeah, every politician since the invention of teleprompters has used them. Obama was the first time you noticed?

        So Racky, I guess my question is…are you dumb enough to believe this stuff you post yourself, or are you just hoping someone else, somewhere else, will be?

  9. Any Guy

    wow ‘rusty’, you seem to have put us all in our place. congrats on being a semi-literate hillbilly. why so angry? is it because if she runs you already know she’s gonna hand Obama a SECOND term? nah, you’re not smart enough to figure that out apparently. have fun throwing your vote away big hoss! now go try and fit your big ass in your SUV and speed up around the turns on the way to McDonalds.

  10. Ponkur

    I have those same blender bottles. I don’t fill mine with vomit though.

    Celebs: They’re just like us!

  11. Scarlett Johansson No Make Up Avengers
    Commented on this photo:

    Worst actress ever.

  12. j-sin

    Period clothes?

  13. Scarlett knows what we only wish we could know. There is but one man in human history, whose semen has tasted better than Jesus’s. That man? Sean Penn.

  14. I bet that her cunt has teeth.

  15. dotmatrix

    Don’t care. Still wanna hit it.

  16. Veronica

    I wish I looked that good on my day off.

  17. Tinklepants Astronaut

    That’s not Scarlett Johansson, that is “Botox Mom”:
    http://www.inquisitr.com/107587/gma-wants-10k-refund-from-botox-mom/

  18. tlmck

    She’s channeling her Woody Allen.

    • zzzzzz

      Gotta love the Wood Man! Get’s off with molesting his own children and STILL is respected in the “Industry”.

  19. right

    Amazing. Scarlett has been beat with the FUGLY stick.

  20. Scarlett Johansson No Make Up Avengers
    Jovy
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy bigfoot pose, could she look anymore angry in these pictures?

  21. the captain

    be sure: HER PENIS TO PLEASE sean penn WITH IS IN THE BAG.

  22. Scarlett Johansson No Make Up Avengers
    JMS
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like she found that baby bump she lost at the Spike awards.

  23. RobMer

    No, really. Who is that a picture of up above?

  24. Metacritic

    Can someone say STALKER

  25. Jock McCrock

    Nothing says a male writer who has never had a long-term relationship with a woman than a nasty little post like this one.

  26. ugh

    She looks like her breath smells like shit.

  27. rob

    she looks hot as fuck, who the fuck are all yall fucking? what i like best is the glasses, the scowl, the money, the titties and her ass. thank you!

  28. Toby Weymiller

    I would love to smother Sean Penn’s face with my man boobs. He is hot!

  29. DouchyDoucherton

    Dear FISH,
    *Please ADD to your final three sentences:

    “About Nothing”

    Thanx Fish…and have a wonderful day.

  30. soliz

    holy crap, some of you are so mean, are you threatened by her maybe?

  31. Suds

    This stupid bitch was doing robocalls for Obama so what do you expect.

  32. Martina2

    Why was she trolling for a 50 year old guy in the first place? I think she wants Sean back so that SHE can dump him, clearly Sean dropped her the 1st time around. She wants revenge.

  33. Dominique

    well, she’s got her reasons, she’s a beautiful woman and has no reason to be left out! De Niro is a shauvinistic pig and likes to have followers, as one can see here from this article, where he tries to pull Sean Penn away from Scarlett Johansson. But she’s tough and strong enough to tell them both, u know what? I can see thru ur scam and will throw u right back where ure coming from! So Sean should think twice about leavin her, he won’t find a better match so quick ….and moreover her husband Ryan Reynolds regrets having let her go, so just beware of ur actions, dear ‘guys’ or whatever ur made off!!!! LOL! Talking out of experience!

  34. Chupacabra

    she’s just going through an “ugly” phase.

  35. kemper

    Scarlett is one of the most beautiful women in the World.

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