Scarlett Johansson Pulled the Trigger

December 15th, 2010 // 82 Comments

Despite my obsession with inserting Blake Lively into every post, Scarlett Johansson is apparently the one who decided to bail on Ryan Reynolds and not vice versa as most normal people would’ve assumed on account of all the Blake Lively. (I need help.) Us Weekly reports:

“Ryan has been reaching out to an ex the past few months,” a Reynolds pal tells Us.
Yet it’s purely platonic, the insider insists: “He is seeking comfort, but not in a romantic or sexual way.”
Suddenly single Johansson, meanwhile, has “confided in friends.”
… “She’s been unhappy for a while,” the source says, noting that the busy actors were force to spend too much time apart.

While all this “too much time apart” talk sounds like a convenient cover story for Scarlett’s rumored promiscuity, I can’t help but think there’s side boob in these photos. And now I can’t even do that. Or make sentence pieces and then you so much hahas come out. Cinnabon?

Photos: Getty


  1. Jack

    Scarlett is a butterface

    • Hugh Gentry

      you are insane. You must prefer 5:00 shadow?

    • saltydog

      she’s somebody who creates the illusions of hotness if you take away the professionally dyed hair, extensions, designer outfits, spanx/girdles/corsets and remove the professional make-up she would look like a short, average to cute girl with a puffy face.

      Their marriage always seemed like a sham anyways, the both look great on the red carpet (but you never see them together because they were always apart as most fake marriages go). I’m sure he still looks hot rolling out of bed in the mornings, whereas she probably looks like a mess.

      also she’s a mouth breather and it bugs the crap out of me.

    • Da troooooooooof

      She is WAY too thin now! I’ll pass.

      • anonymous

        Toe thumbs! Oh wait…wrong chick. Stupid tats threw me.

      • testington

        whoa I hope that tatoo on her arm is fake LOL it looks idiotic

        She is cute, but overrated in the looks department and really overrated in the talent department

  2. dani

    People need to stop confusing Ryan Reynolds with Ryan Gosling.

  3. Scarlett Johansson
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t believe you didn’t point out the first pic and the guy staring at her ass. Lol.

  4. Yesto Rambuki

    So that homely pig tits was fucking around on her man. Next year when that cream curdles, she’ll be banging Gilbert Gottfried for star power.

  5. Scarlett Johansson
    Commented on this photo:

    lol that guy’s face is priceless. something along the lines like “shoot me now, I’m never gonna tap that, I hate my life”

  6. Scarlett Johansson
    Commented on this photo:

    Ladies and gentlemen, a human female specimen.

  7. oh i know

    love the way the guy in pic #1 is sneakin-a-peek…hehehe!

  8. Disagree. She looks pretty damn cute here. The whole package.

  9. Scarlett Johansson
    Commented on this photo:

    scarjo is 1000% hotter than blake lively. She makes me wish I had a penis.

    • Becky

      I couldn’t agree more. Blake has a weird nose or something. It just doesn’t look right. But Scarlett is absolutely perfect.

  10. McFeely Smackup

    Green Lantern is powerless over anything colored yellow…coincidence?

  11. Scarlett Johansson
    McFeely Smackup
    Commented on this photo:

    I realize she’s just stepped off a staircase, and is wearing heels…but fuck, she’s walking like she’s in a Monty Python sketch.

  12. cc

    Doesn’t she smoke two packs a day or something? That would be pretty hard to live with, no matter how great she looks naked.

  13. The curse of Will Eisner strikes again.

  14. zeke

    Scarlett…….i’m here for you baby. and yeah i know i’m married but you know how couples sometimes have that “exempt list” where if they got a chance to have sex with a person on that list they are allowed to do it??? well you’re on my list so you know……come over anytime. i’ll probably only last like 10 seconds but it’ll be the best 10 seconds of my life.

  15. RoboZombie

    She makes my wiener squirt

  16. Richard McBeef

    definitely ruinable. just a peek of side boob too.

    what’s up with the rainbow bright tattoo?

    • McFeely Smackup

      Was she in prison recently? I can’t think of any other reason why a millionaire actress would think an amateur tattoo in a visible place would be a good idea.

  17. Toby Weymiller

    She is not as hot as Alanis Morissette.

  18. Hugh Gentry

    He must have lost interest when her boobies got smaller.

  19. Ash Bones

    Built for bent over the table sex

  20. Rough! Rough! like a dungeon dragon

    Yep here’s the transformation I was looking for. The post break up, dressing like a Hottie Tatty from dressing like a woman name Eleanor when she was married…

  21. scarlett leaf

    did she get a breast reduction or did she just lose a lot of weight? also, didn’t know that she smokes or that she’s allegedly promiscuous…i wonder if she’s been with women, or if she’s curious….anyways he really must have fucked up cuz it would take a lot for me to leave ryan fuckin reynolds.

    • Mr. Natural

      I’m not sure about the rest of it, but she admitted to the promiscuity a few yrs ago. My hex, who was a regular Us reader (and got me into following the cirque de celeb) pointed out the quote – I can’t remember exactly but it was along the lines of ‘ppl should have as many sex partners as they desire, especially ones who will enjoy the slow drips of gonhorrea’

      • scarlett leaf

        yeah, i just googled it a bit. i got a quote of her saying that she took 2 hiv tests a year, which on one hand, yay, she’s getting tested…but on the other hand, yikes. i thought once a year was pretty standard for most sluts.

  22. CptCreep

    Before they got married Ryan Reynolds wasn’t a household name, now he is. Only room for one superstar in any relationship. Reynolds can do better, ScarJo will be taking it in the real from Billy Bob Thorton in under 3 months. You read it here first!

    • Mary Exmass

      Oh, I see now. I was wondering why she didn’t already know that they had the same careers and were probably going to spend a lot of time apart. You know, because they have the same careers. So what happened was that he got more famous and she just lost weight and IQ points. Got it.

  23. shankyouverymuch

    Can anyone tell what the tat on her forearm is? what is it damn it, tell me now!

  24. Scarlett Johansson
    Commented on this photo:

    I love her.

  25. josh

    I love her.

  26. Rico

    Anyone that says she is ugly is just fucking crazy. Or a jealous bitch.

    • DennisdaMenace

      ignoring the the big boobs and butt for one second you can’t tell me scarlett doesn’t look like Michael Pitt’s twin from the neck up.

  27. Slapkatyperry

    the only thing this bitch is good for is a fuck-N-dump.
    “shut up slut you know you want it in your butt”

  28. LJ

    She is welcome to pull my trigger anytime.

  29. Arline

    Did she get another nose job recently? Gah. Stop doing that, ladies. She used to be kind of classically, strikingly beautiful, now she has an average Hollywood face that I had a really hard time recognizing.

    The nose is the first fixation point people look at when you they look at a face. When you change that to the ridiculously angular and skinny nose famous people are so inclined towards these days, you’re losing what makes your face observably interesting.

    • Timmy

      Uh, thanks Dr Phil…now how about having a nice warm cup of shut the fuck up… shes still fucking stunning, and looks far from ‘average hollywood’…. do you just say shit like this just to hear yourself speak? And if you had a really ‘hard time recognizing it’ given the fact that the title of the thread has oh, her name in it, and more importantly, it LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE SHE ALWAYS DOES, shoot yourself now please. Have a pleasant day.

  30. PoingFong Pee

    Worst fucking tattoo ever.

  31. Scarlett Johansson
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone had to borrow a friend’s shoes.

  32. She’s been separated what, four minutes, and she’s already looking doable again? Man, the Reynolds penis must be the dark side of the Gyllenhaal weewee.

  33. See Alice

    She looks like a 1960′s refridgerator

  34. jojo

    One look at that People’s magazine cover of Ryan and she thought…
    “shit I need to lose this douchebag.”

  35. anonym

    scarlett looks like an elf in these pics.

    she is fucking overrated.

  36. Scarlett Johansson
    Duke Steele
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t see it. Shes only sort of cute and that fat ass and ugly legs make her look like she wants to be a Skankassian. Other than a nice set of tits, she really doesn’t have anything else. Not even Ryan Reynolds

    • Mike D.

      Flaming homosapien, you dont see it, because you needs to wipe da man chowder thats dripping from your eyes. , douche.

  37. Russ

    Surprised not more people know of Ryan’s homosexuality – guess it’s a pretty well-kept secret. But ask some celebs and gymrats around NYC and you’ll know the truth.

    Seriously. Ryan’s gay. Get over it. Wish he’d come out already, but we all know that’d hurt his Hollywood success.

  38. Scarlett Johansson
    still hit it
    Commented on this photo:

    only a woman would notice the shoes…lol

  39. Scarlett Johansson
    The Observer
    Commented on this photo:

    Silly walk FTW!

  40. Plastic Fantastic


  41. Plastic Fantastic

    Dammit! That was supposed to be a response to the refrigerator comment…

  42. Yep

    I can beleive she was the one to end it. What man in his right mind would want to ditch her!!! On a scale of 1 to 10 she is a 50!!!!

  43. Scarlett Johansson
    Commented on this photo:

    I think this was actually an audition tape for her role in “Land Before Time; Live”. I hear that she tried out for the role of a Tyrannosaurus Rex in the live action remake of the kids’ classic. If her posture in this picture (2) counts, I think she has a real shot at the role.
    Side note: I am more than willing to be eaten by her ,just in case they need any “victimosaurs”

  44. Scarlett Johansson
    Commented on this photo:

    On a brighter note: Just days after announcing her separation and pending divorce from Ryan Reynolds Scarjo’s boobs have returned! This is proof positive that Reynolds holds his female companion’s boobs hostage during a relationship with him…..Blake Lively take note,PLEASE!

  45. Scarlett Johansson
    Commented on this photo:

    Hmmm? Curiously, her wedding ring is still on her left hand. Could this be a publicity ploy like Heidi and Spencer? After all they both have movies to promote!

  46. wim

    well, let’s hope her OLD FASHIONED AMERICAN THOUGHTS are able to meet her splendid young at heart look from now on?

  47. Scarlett Johansson
    Commented on this photo:

    ohh the hot guy in the background is form inception. this picture explains it all! cant blame you, scarlett!

  48. Scarlett Johansson
    Commented on this photo:

    Im a hot blooded straight woman, and can say that she is definitely one of the most beautiful women in Hollywood. She has a unique look about her, and I wish I had her curves. I know everyone ogles thin women (Im pretty slender myself), but this really is what a gorgeous woman looks like right here. Fish, I could understand an obsession with her, not Blake Lively for petes sake! That chick looks like a lifeless robot, sorry!

  49. Scarlett Johansson
    Commented on this photo:

    That dude looks like he is about to swallow his gum looking at her side boobage! That chick should realize she is a dangerous weapon! And I LOVE that dress, my favorite color! Ok, yes, Im super jealous of this bitch. *sniffles*

  50. Scarlett Johansson
    Commented on this photo:

    He’z probably thinking “Hahahahaha Ur ugly”…lol

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