Scarlett Johansson Looks Pregnant

April 12th, 2011 // 197 Comments

Over the past few weeks, many people have been left wondering just what the 26-year-old Scarlett Johansson sees in 50-year-old Sean Penn, so at this point I’d like to toss my hat in the ring by saying he put a freaking baby in her. In a rare move for the usually reclusive Scarlett, she actually let herself be photographed by the paparazzi while jogging with Sean on Sunday, and either she really let herself go, or there’s a new Savior of Haiti gestating in her womb. And if there is, Christ, how soon did these two start doing it after she left Ryan Reynolds? Because that just happened in December and she looks almost far enough along to know the sex. But, again, Scarjo could’ve just let herself go which is sort of a mean thing to say. Assuming she’s pregnant seems much nicer, and this has always been a site about encouragement and positive body images. Sasquatch knows what I’m talking about.

UPDATE: Scarlett’s rep just denied the pregnancy rumors by blaming the whole thing on her shirt. No, really:

“She’s outside running and it’s simply the placement of her shirt that is misleading. She’s been training for The Avengers for over four months and is in the best shape of her life.”

My rebuttal.

Photos: AKM Images/Flynet

superficial

  1. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    Maloney
    Commented on this photo:

    They don’t even look like they are doing the same thing here, let along “jogging” or is it “yogging”? …whatever– eating.

  2. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    Fred
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like a bag of knots in her ass.

    • dramkit

      Yeah, wtf is that? It looks like a stuck in a chair 24/7 “Do you deliver?” kind of arse.

      Pump it, Scarjo!

  3. Lara

    another celeb that’s fatter than me yay (I don’t know why I care either)
    Those are the weirdest shoes I’ve ever seen, they look oddly comfortable though.

  4. Turd Ferguson

    Obviously she has some industrial grade GIRDLE in effect on those red carpets.

  5. Clarence Beeks

    that is not a hard looking baby bump. That is a food and drink baby bump.

  6. Melly

    These have been photshopped…I’ve seen these same photos and they don’t look like this….

  7. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    goodyboogshoes
    Commented on this photo:

    too many beers and buds with leather face

  8. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    goodyboogshoes
    Commented on this photo:

    that’s not fat. she’s like the mutant from Total Recall. Her twin is under that shirt. that’s the only explanation

  9. Oh for fuck's sake

    Another piece of hot ass ruined by impregnation. I can’t get over that cottage cheese ass….how horrible for her and Sean Penn. Maybe she can get it aborted before it finishes its work of ruining what used to be a great body.

    I hear they pay good money for fetus organs in china to make some type of viagra soup with.

  10. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    The Ugly Truth
    Commented on this photo:

    Not pregnant and definitely not fat. I love this site but these kinds of headlines are just gross.

  11. sense

    she just got out of a divorce and has probably been emotionally eating. that kind of belly can happen when a woman is bloated from her period or just had a big meal. everyone calm down, we’ll know soon enough ;)

  12. Sorry guys, I put that baby in there. My bad.

  13. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    The Ugly Truth
    Commented on this photo:

    It`s really sad, you know? So many girls are going to read this and think they look pregnant too, because Im pretty sure 80% of women look like this. The other 20% are either obese or anorexic. This woman isn`t even close to being fat and she`s got an amazing body.

  14. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    Double D
    Commented on this photo:

    Ryan Reynolds has gone from fool to genius in one Superficial post.

  15. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    DHRYDER
    Commented on this photo:

    my penis just died a little. FU sean penn

  16. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    AVENGER
    Commented on this photo:

    Glad to see she kept herself in shape for the Avengers Movie. Isn’t that about to start filming?
    Oh well, she was a weak Black Widow anyway, maybe now they’ll recast.

  17. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    I'mTheSolution
    Commented on this photo:

    babies are not that lumpy. See: tina fey’s belly.

  18. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    Honest Abe
    Commented on this photo:

    Snooki looks pretty good all of a sudden..

  19. Trixie

    fanny pack under t-shirt?

  20. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    mmmmhhhhh
    Commented on this photo:

    leave the girl alone. Pregnant or not, who cares. she is hot, a pretty decent actress and has harmed nobody – pity she is shacking up with Penn though. He is a dickhead. Had a lovely wife and screwed it up. Good luck Scarlett.

  21. Kayne East

    I think the headline should read, “Scarlett Johansson looks herniated.”

  22. Nate

    She does not look pregnant. She looks FAT!

  23. Marceelf

    Ryan Reynolds…..WINNING!!

  24. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    Ed
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, I’d love to see the chicks you guys fuk

  25. Doc Scweinstrudel

    she looks like a caterpillar, wtf is wrong , there are bubbles all over her body??? What food do you Holllywood guys eat over there for real, when noone looks?

  26. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    ash
    Commented on this photo:

    uhh, someones been eating ice cream and drinking beer with old dudes

  27. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    Walter Sobchak
    Commented on this photo:

    Britney’s ass NEVER looked that bad. Not even Cheeto’d out and pregnant.

  28. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    suz
    Commented on this photo:

    Nah… she’s just a big podgy. She’s not wearing any Spanx – just letting it all hang out. Look at the flabby legs …. NOT preggers…. just fat!

  29. cc

    The last time I saw something with that texture it was when I left forgot some milk bags in the car overnight and they curdled.

  30. Pregnant? I think the word you’re looking for is “lumpy”

  31. Jimbob

    I still say she took out the implants and totally lost any charm she may have had.

  32. So this is the “best shape of her life”?

    That might be true if “best” is defined as “largest variety of shapes stuffed into stretch pants”. She looks like she’s shoplifting oranges.

  33. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    The Duke
    Commented on this photo:

    are the tops of her pants placed in a misleading way as well?

  34. Allison Wunderlan

    Geez, She’s either jogging in a fat suit or Sean thought it would be funny to line her spandex pants with sausage.

  35. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    gaudi
    Commented on this photo:

    It is natural for a woman to have a round belly. It is natural for a man to have a flat belly. We are so distorted now that we think a flat belly is natural for a woman’s body. But it just isn’t.

  36. bassackwards

    Well….if she IS pregnant, then I’m guessing her Oh So Important Planned Parenthood didn’t hook her up with those badly needed Birth Control Pills….or, more likely to Planned Parenhoods line of work, if she IS pregnant, her Oh SO Important Planned Parenthood will be able to get rid of that pesky lil ol’ bump in just two shakes…….she’ll be able to be right back out there in her “I raided a GoodWill” clothes & Butt-Fuckin-Ugly whateverthehell is on her feet!
    Fuckin Empty-Headed Libtard Moron

  37. Tallia

    She just looks normal….without fotoshop or spanks…just a normal girl

  38. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    mememe
    Commented on this photo:

    That shirt totally makes her ass look fat.

  39. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    Mel Gibson's Shrink
    Commented on this photo:

    Best shape of her life my ass

  40. weaselboy

    Who’s her publicist? Shauna Roberts? The best Scarlett ever looked:

    http://top10celebs.net/?cat=25

  41. Love the curves, hate the retarded shoes.

  42. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    arnieblackblack
    Commented on this photo:

    fat

  43. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    nananana
    Commented on this photo:

    she doesnt look good idiot, and the girls skinnier than this arent aneroxic, theyre of average weight. so shut your damn mouth

  44. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    Seriously, if any of you had a shot at her—which you don’t, of course—you’d take it in a heartbeat. That is, if you didn’t ejaculate at the sound of her saying “yes,” or even when you got within 10 feet of her.

    I’d like to see these perfect-10 models you’ve all been exclusively dating and screwing that you can nitpick every extra pound and wrinkle on this site.

  45. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    johnj
    Commented on this photo:

    wow what a virgin comment

  46. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    horny pig
    Commented on this photo:

    I would lick that ass clean .. yum yum

  47. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    Ismoss
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like shes smuggling bags of peanuts in those leotards.

  48. The Old Tax Man

    It looks like her implants popped and all the silicone moved to her tummy and butt.

  49. welldoneson

    I think she’s wearing Superman pads in her pants.
    At least I hope and pray her legs don’t look like that.

    Lord deliver me from this mental image!
    Curse you, superficial!

  50. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    Commented on this photo:

    Will someone please explain the shoes?

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