Scarlett Johansson Looks Pregnant

April 12th, 2011 // 197 Comments

Over the past few weeks, many people have been left wondering just what the 26-year-old Scarlett Johansson sees in 50-year-old Sean Penn, so at this point I’d like to toss my hat in the ring by saying he put a freaking baby in her. In a rare move for the usually reclusive Scarlett, she actually let herself be photographed by the paparazzi while jogging with Sean on Sunday, and either she really let herself go, or there’s a new Savior of Haiti gestating in her womb. And if there is, Christ, how soon did these two start doing it after she left Ryan Reynolds? Because that just happened in December and she looks almost far enough along to know the sex. But, again, Scarjo could’ve just let herself go which is sort of a mean thing to say. Assuming she’s pregnant seems much nicer, and this has always been a site about encouragement and positive body images. Sasquatch knows what I’m talking about.

UPDATE: Scarlett’s rep just denied the pregnancy rumors by blaming the whole thing on her shirt. No, really:

“She’s outside running and it’s simply the placement of her shirt that is misleading. She’s been training for The Avengers for over four months and is in the best shape of her life.”

My rebuttal.

Photos: AKM Images/Flynet

superficial

  1. wow um that’s some serious JLH power thighs. and her feet look like monkey feet. WTF as shatner might say, “PENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!”

    • Nup

      She could well be in the best shape of her life, she’s always been fat.

      • yeah she’s never been that skinny. i guess no one ever stopped staring at her tits long enough to shift the eyes down a bit. or up for that matter.

      • C

        Nup, you’re an asshole. She’s a size 6 -8, which is smaller than the size of an average American woman. So she’s got curves; big deal. SORRY she’s not a size 0 like most of Hollywood.

  2. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    Commented on this photo:

    you need a spank, missy

  3. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    Janet
    Commented on this photo:

    Looking a fancy pack of some sort to me. It’s too bumpy to be a baby belly

  4. It’s the sports bra, it’s pushing her boobs so far back they are coming out from all angles

  5. Deacon Jones

    I don’t even know where to begin on these pics.

  6. Wtf is up with their workout gear? They look like they raided a charity bin.

  7. Either she’s pregnant by that buffoon or she’s going for the “my body is shaped like a barrel” look.

  8. Cock Dr

    Penn & ScarJo have been regularly out hammering the brewskis. She’s probably been throwing down some peanuts & pretzels too from the look of those haunches. Love can be fattening.
    Keep jogging; find a big hill.
    WTF does she have on her feet?

    • DM

      Vibram five finger shoes, they are actually great for running and helps your feet run the way they were built. They are pretty awesome once you get over the toe look.

      • roddy mcdowall wore them in escape from the planet of the apes

      • anonymous

        Umm, 5-fingers are the biggest joke. If you want to run barefoot go for it – but if you wear those (along with Moeben sleeves and compression “socks”) you look like the biggest douchbag in the running world. Or like some freaking trendy yuppy , but is there really a difference between the two? I just can’t wait to look back in another 20 years, all this crap will be like the leather “lifting” belts of the 80′s.

      • KV

        As soon as I see Usain Bolt winning Olympic gold in those, I promise I’ll buy them.

      • Banged

        No they’re really not, they actually realign the feet to run quite unnaturally. Barefoot, fine. Five finger shoes, very very bad. Unless you’re a podiatrist, then they’re great for business.

    • Tony

      They are these stupid fad shoes that will destroy your feet faster than running barefoot across a field of broken glass. No matter what anyone says, you’re feet weren’t “designed to run naturally” for extended periods over asphalt.

      • Henny

        hey Tony, read the book “born to run” and then see what you think after

      • Marceelf

        I wouldn’t rather have Katie Holmes’s hobbit feet than wear a pair of those hideous shoes.

      • Reece

        I’m actually wearing a pair right now…Until you put a pair on they seem ridiculous. They are actually great for your feet, even if ur flat footed. I have absolutely no arch in my foot and five fingers allows you to rebuild muscle tone in your foot like they were intended.

      • The Old Tax Man

        I think some of you work for this toe/sock shoe company. Get off your soap box and go buy some Keds. All anyone has to do is look at her fat body to see that these fad shoes don’t do any good.

    • Look at any marathon, you won’t find ANY runners wearing this nonsense. Your feet were NOT intended to have the toes forcibly separated. These will give you chafing and blisters in places you didn’t think possible.

      these are a gimmick to sell to people who think their shoe is what is keeping them from being an athlete, rather than their fat ass and complete lack of exercise.

      • chainsawbuzzkill

        Abebe Bikila won the Olympic marathon barefoot. Not in five fingers, of course. But running shoes are the biggest scam.

        Strike that. The biggest scam is Scarlett Johansson bumping uglies with Sean Penn.

      • terry

        no no no !
        I had a guest in my hotel that was down for one of then marathons and she was wearing those five fingers. It is barefoot running.

      • SATAN

        +1. fuck lazy fat people

  9. MDIZ

    I’d still gargle her douche water… Don’t you pricks judge me!

  10. SATAN

    remember when this chick used to be Earth’s goddess? i specifically remember a story that came out about 5 years ago where she went to a spa for a day of pampering, and everybody who came across her was describing her body in total reverence.

  11. D-chi

    Scarlett is so beautiful. She’s up on my life of what every girl should look like (along with Catherine Zeta-Jones, Emily Browning, and Jessica Rabbit). I would hate to think she let herself gain a bunch of weight, although she’s still hotter than all of us. If she’s pregnant…. well, I didn’t see that coming. Sean Penn? Really? It takes all types I guess.

  12. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s probably bored with it already & ready for the next blonde cupcake.
    I wonder how long the whole “Hati refugees call me Jesus” rap will work for him as he grows ever more older & haggard.

  13. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    justsaying
    Commented on this photo:

    AT 20, she would brag about not working out or dieting, and I thought to myself….just wait

  14. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    codapea
    Commented on this photo:

    So NOT pregnant. Just a few too many beers or more likely PMS… not 5 months pregnant (which is when you find out the sex). If she is pregnant, she looks more like 12 weeks at the most.

  15. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    DM
    Commented on this photo:

    I like her Vibram 5-finger shoes! I have the same ones~

  16. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    DM
    Commented on this photo:

    Thats just jelly, your ribs don’t get pregnant.

  17. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    DM
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah.. judging form the backside she just most likely gained weight.

  18. codapea

    Not pregnant… her boobs haven’t grown in relation to her belly. That’s a beer gut if I ever saw one.

  19. OnTheRealThough

    wtf happened to this chick’s breasts? please tell me it’s just the sports bra that took the life out of them.

  20. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    She just needs to suck in…which is hard if you’re trying to chase Sean Penn up a hill.

  21. Jesse Camp

    She’s running. Which is obviously a sign she wants to lose weight. Consider me a genius.

  22. Micky

    Wow. She is fcking stupid as a fck. Go penn you ahole and keep on smoking please. Should he not be in japan…Oh wait there is a chance of getting hurt there.

  23. the captain

    no no no: THIS IS HOW A FEMALE ALCOHOLIC LOOKS LIKE, folks!!

  24. Richard McBeef

    she’s got a lot more letting her self go ahead if she wants to catch up with her new old boyfriend.

  25. Erika H

    Yeeeeahhhh, she’s definitely not pregnant. Pregnant bellies are round and hers is all….lumpy. And she hasn’t gained weight in her face either. So odds are she’s just fat now. Curse you delicious beer! Curse yooouuuu!!!!

  26. ZigZagZoey

    OMG! Ryan must have gotten a great ab workout laughing his fucking ass off seeing these pics.
    I’ve never liked her. She always seemed like a stuck up bitch and she is just okay looking.

  27. DOucHe BaGELs

    The real loser in all this is Kodak…

  28. She doesn’t look pregnant. She looks lumpy.

  29. Michelle

    Did no on look at her and say, “hey maybe not the best look for you.” How do you put that on and say to yourself, “Nice look. The pav never get a pic of me so let’s make sure it’s THE WORST LOOK EVER.” Although still better than the Penn pics in the flood sweat pants.

  30. Those legs are so shapely. In fact, they have so many shapes they appear to have been sculpted in Silly Putty by a blind child with epilepsy.

  31. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    combustion
    Commented on this photo:

    nope.. just fat.

  32. SuperT

    Well, she could be pregnant, provided she swallowed a pack of sea monkeys and a donation from Mr. Penn.

  33. bigfatmoocow

    OMGWTWBBQ!!! A celebrity has put on weight and is not the perfect airbrushed version you see of them in mags and other promos??? dear lord its it end of the world !!!

    I am wee bit drnk and even beer googles dont help… but never understood her appeal anyway… much better looking females out there…

  34. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    hilary
    Commented on this photo:

    thats not pregnant fat, thats just fat fat.

  35. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    combustion
    Commented on this photo:

    fatass

  36. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    Hola
    Commented on this photo:

    Where the fuck did her tits go???? Love the sweaty pits……please post more pics of Kathy Griffin, this is making me sick!

  37. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    lolno
    Commented on this photo:

    Are you people retarded? Or have you never seen a pregnant woman before?

  38. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    Hannam
    Commented on this photo:

    Those toe shoes are actually more distracting to me.

  39. Anthony

    Did anyone else do that mashed potato + pantyhose thing in middle school? It was a simple way of showing how the intestines worked…. that’s what I’m seeing when I look at her legs right now.

  40. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    Artie Fatbuckle
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like her tits fell into her ass.

  41. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    Commented on this photo:

    Or she could just be fat….

  42. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    reformed_druid
    Commented on this photo:

    She doesn’t look pregnant to me, I think she has just been hanging out with the old man too long.

  43. Jon

    Looks like a flat jacket to me, probably a better exercise carrying an extra 10-20lbs. Too lumpy to be her stomach.

    • “A flat jacket to me” MuHaHaHaHa-So true! Those Gladiator era shoes are shite period! If your gonna run on hot 100+F cement for god sake put real runners on.The only ppl that run barefoot is some fucken South American tribe that run on dirt,sand and rocks …..They train all their lives for it….Plus they don’t eat donuts while their running for 1/2 hr…………..

  44. Pat Palmer

    “Scarlett Johansson Looks Pregnant”

    Now we know why she did that PSA for Planned Parenthood. Guess she didn’t follow any of their advice.

  45. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    M
    Commented on this photo:

    FAT ASS.

  46. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    jim eh
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, Sean sure looks hella old, it’s probably all the coke and booze.

  47. Deacon Jones

    Sean Penn is going to have a heart attack trying to keep up with her, that fucker is the definition of “chain smoker”.

  48. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    Mr Big Dik
    Commented on this photo:

    I have never thought her to be attractive or worthy of mny dik.

  49. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    Mr Big Dik
    Commented on this photo:

    She has always been a cow … and un-fuk-able

  50. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Jog
    Commented on this photo:

    She doesn’t look pregnant, just fat…I guess all that good loving from Sean got her eating and lying around.

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