Scarlett Johansson Secretly Got Married Again If Anyone Gives A Shit

Because I’ll use any excuse to post bikini photos, here are some words about Scarlett Johansson’s secret wedding to that French guy who knocked her up, Radicchio Something. Via Page Six:

A source tells Page Six, “Scarlett and Romain were married in a very intimate ceremony after the birth of their daughter. They kept the wedding a big secret because they both wanted privacy.”
While it had been speculated the couple would marry in Dauriac’s native Paris, the source said the wedding took place at a secret location in the US, away from the spotlight of Hollywood or Johansson’s home town of New York. The pair wed on Oct. 1 in Philipsburg, Montana, a clerk for Granite County told People.

How all of us lived these past two months without this information is a true testament to the human spirit. A lesser species would’ve died, and that’s right, I’m talking about you, the platypus. Don’t close the tab, you duck-billed bitch. I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!

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Photos: Splash News