Scarlett Johansson Hates America

By: The Superficial / July 28, 2011

Yesterday, I tossed the ladies some love with the Alexander Skarsgard is single post, so here’s some red meat for another demographic that gets the short end of the stick here: Republicans.

Liberal commie and former Sean Penn-lover (Redundant, you’re right.) Scarlett Johansson is the latest celebrity to receive an invitation to the Marine Corps Ball which she, of course, rejected because everyone knows she’s a Kenyan sleeper agent who receives direct messages from her Socialist Overlord instructing her to perform acts of sexy terror. Here’s her manifesto to Zap2it:

I feel incredibly honored to have been invited to the Marine Corps Ball by Sgt. Dustin L. Williams. Not only does Sgt. Williams deserve recognition for his bravery, selflessness and dedication to the United States and its people, but he also displays a cheeky talent for film making.Sgt. Williams, unfortunately due to prior commitments I will not be able to attend the Ball with you this year but I am sending you a case of Moet and Chandon with gratitude. In my absence, I raise a glass to you and all the men and women of the U.S. Marine Corps, past and present, in thanks for your continued commitment to preserving the safety of our nation.

Ooh, wow, Scarlett Johansson raised her glass. That’s almost exactly like an obligatory handjob in a limo. But, seriously, politics aside, I love how all these Marines are only just now realizing they can guilt celebrities into going out with them after a publicity stunt for Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake’s movie went awry. (They’re going after Miley Cyrus and Paul Walker next.) I can’t help but think if they tried this at least five years ago, if not more, they could’ve easily cleaned up. I’m talking not even courteously requesting an escort to the ball and flat out demanding Britney Spears in a ball gag – while she was still hot – and the patriotic fervor in this country would’ve thrown in Lindsay Lohan – also, still hot – for good measure. Then again, they bagged Mila Kunis, so I guess this proves you always want to trust your commanders on the ground. Semper Fi, Marines.

UPDATE: Photo Boy just pointed out Scarlett sent the brand of champagne she’s paid to represent, so she rejected this guy as cheaply as possible. USA!

Photo: Splash News