As you may have heard, Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds are no longer having sex with each other, yet for some reason the media has decided to portray this as a “separation” despite possessing the key characteristics of a marriage, but let’s not quibble over semantics. Anyway, Ryan is apparently seeking comfort with an ex, while Scarlett has jetted off to Jamaica with friends. Granted, these photos are from 2006 when she went with Josh Hartnett, they’re also Scarlett Johansson in a bikini. On that note, be careful how you use that argument because I’d hate to see hardened criminals walk free because of it. It’s literally that powerful.
LAWYER: So you see, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, her breasts are kind of awesome.
JUDGE: Set this man free!
CRIMINAL: Babies are delicious!