Don’t Call ScarJo ScarJo

Seen here describing the intense ordeal of gazing upon Sean Penn’s testicles for the first time – “And the left one walked with a cane, a trail of Gold Bond Medicated Powder in its wake…” – Scarlett Johansson apparently hates being called ScarJo and bitched to USA Today about how respected actors way out of her league don’t get saddled with a shitty nickname:

“It’s a laziness,” says Johansson, 27, her black ankle boot propped up on one of the Ritz-Carlton Central Park’s gilded coffee tables. “People can’t actually say the whole name? It’s just bizarre.” She tries shorthand sobriquets on other stars. How come Daniel Day-Lewis isn’t subjected to “like, ‘DaDay’? So Cate Blanchett is not, like, ‘CaBla’? Why is that? Why do I have to get stuck” with a mangled moniker?

1. Daniel Day Lewis is method as fuck and will literally travel back to 19th century New York and throw a goddamn knife in your eye if you called him “DaDay.”

2. Cate Blanchett won an Oscar and more importantly wasn’t in Iron Man 2.

3. You make millions of dollars to play dress-up for a living, quit your bitching, Gwyneth Jr. (That’s the nickname I picked, but noooo, no one listens to the Dick Joke Teller. Oh, they’ll be sorry. They’ll be sorry…)

Photos: INFdaily, Splash News