Seen here describing the intense ordeal of gazing upon Sean Penn‘s testicles for the first time – “And the left one walked with a cane, a trail of Gold Bond Medicated Powder in its wake…” – Scarlett Johansson apparently hates being called ScarJo and bitched to USA Today about how respected actors way out of her league don’t get saddled with a shitty nickname:
“It’s a laziness,” says Johansson, 27, her black ankle boot propped up on one of the Ritz-Carlton Central Park’s gilded coffee tables. “People can’t actually say the whole name? It’s just bizarre.” She tries shorthand sobriquets on other stars. How come Daniel Day-Lewis isn’t subjected to “like, ‘DaDay’? So Cate Blanchett is not, like, ‘CaBla’? Why is that? Why do I have to get stuck” with a mangled moniker?
2. Cate Blanchett won an Oscar and more importantly wasn’t in Iron Man 2.
3. You make millions of dollars to play dress-up for a living, quit your bitching, Gwyneth Jr. (That’s the nickname I picked, but noooo, no one listens to the Dick Joke Teller. Oh, they’ll be sorry. They’ll be sorry…)