Scarlett Johansson’s In A Bikini

February 10th, 2012 // 213 Comments
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I don’t normally post at 11 o’clock on a Friday night, but when it’s People Who’ve Had Sex With Sean Penn Yet Somehow Still Look Great In A Bikini Day, all bets are off. So here’s Scarlett Johansson and her new boyfriend Nate Naylor (actual name) in Hawaii this afternoon which means Ryan Reynolds has to make Blake Lively parade around in a bikini now or everyone will know Scarlett used to beat him before bed each night. That’s how divorces work.

Adding… Come Monday morning, ScarJo’s cellulite will be splattered all over the Internet, but you lucky bastards get a chance to form your opinion two days in advance so I suggest you use that time wisely to think about how it really makes you feel. (I’m going with, “Bubblegum Butt gonna fight that Captain America till my pee-pee get hard.” It’s simple yet clear.)

Photos: Splash News


  1. Cock Dr

    That she slept (repeatedly!) with ugly grandpappy Sean Penn is a far worse strike against her desirability than the cellulite on her backside.

    • cc

      Agreed. After that, her sex appeal falls by 90%. Then she loses another 5% for being with this guy.

    • Dan

      Totally agreed. After her affair with Penn I cannot look at her the same again. If she was Jane Random I would say she looks great… :)

  2. Grand Dragon

    I don’t understand how some “actresses” get paid for basically only being hot, when you can visit any college campus and find scores of women hotter than the actress in this example.

  3. Scarlett Johansson Bikini Cellulite
    Commented on this photo:

    I think she has great skin and a cute body. The picture is definitely not photoshopped, I think it’s just the light, motion and angle that makes them extra visible. My but looks horribly bumpy in some lights as well…

  4. Scarlett Johansson Bikini Cellulite
    Commented on this photo:

    Another man pushing 40 who thinks he’s 25. Too bad this one looks considerably older than his years. Turn the ballcap around, douchebag.

  5. Scarlett Johansson Bikini Cellulite
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess the old rubs off on there after a while.

  6. bullets

    Meh, I’ll take Robin Wright but I think Ben Foster already got her.

  7. Scarlett Johansson Bikini Cellulite
    Commented on this photo:

    Robin Wright looks better

  8. Scarlett Johansson Bikini Cellulite
    Commented on this photo:

    her body and face has gone downhill fast

  9. Scarlett Johansson Bikini Cellulite
    Commented on this photo:

    she wouldn’t get hired for baywatch

  10. Scarlett Johansson Bikini Cellulite
    Commented on this photo:

    Scarlett “they are looking, kiss me now”

  11. Scarlett Johansson Bikini Cellulite
    Commented on this photo:

    she probably doesn’t care

    all she has to do is go to the gym and her problem will be over in two weeks. She’s only 26 years old

    • Cecilia

      I go to the gym all the time, I work out on average 17 hours per month, and my cellulite isn´t going anywhere. It’s a myth that you can just start jogging more often and those lumps and bumps will disappear, because they won’t. A lot of it is genetic, and the rest of it is diet in combination with skin care and good (or bad) luck. If you loose ALL the fat on your body, of course you’ll have less cellulite, but look at Tara Reid. She was super anorexic for a while, and still had bumps on her butt.

      • qwerty

        That’s cause she lost all the fat by having a lipo in some
        “doctor’s” cellar

      • eatme

        …you “work out” over 30 mins a day and still have cellulite? It’s time for a reality check: sitting in a tim hortons scoffing down crulers while doing kegel excercises does not count as working out. Me thinks you do not hit the gym nearly as often as you pretend to yourself that you do.

  12. Scarlett Johansson Bikini Cellulite
    The TROOF
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like the surfer that’s standing there is about to piss in her eager mouth.

    Don’t get me wrong – I’d fuck the living hell out of her, and make sure I knocked her up too. But bitch needs to drop the constant frowning and get her tits back.

  13. Scarlett Johansson Bikini Cellulite
    :sigh: people..
    Commented on this photo:

    What happened? She’s closing in on 30. That’s what happened.

  14. POWW

    Not a fan but this is a pretty great body. For all you commenting on her being fat or at least “20 pounds” overweight—you sure you are into women?????? and not
    skinny young men., Just wondering

    • POWW

      OK, after reviewing all the pics, I’d say she’s about a 7 on the body scale, maybe 7 1/2 if she promises never to speak.
      Seems like Asian and Middle Eastern women have less cellulite
      than white women. I know a couple of asian women and they are not stick thin but they virtually have no cellulite.

  15. cc

    Update, the girl at the gym with a face like hers but a much better figure is still being a stone cold bitch.

  16. BPorter

    You people are retarded. Most women get cellulite, like 90% or something like that as someone said above (which is true). Certain angles and light can make it look worse, but still, the majority of women have it. She’s human. Even women in fantastic shape who spend a lot of time at the gym still get it. It has nothing to do with not being fit enough (to those saying she just needs to “go to the gym” — it wouldn’t go away.) Do some people really have nothing better to do than put a beautiful woman down for something as completely normal and common as cellulite? I doubt the rest of you are perfect. Grow up. (I’m a dude, by the way.)

  17. anon

    I cannot believe the attitude of some of the shallow minded people on here. Here is a beautiful woman!!!! The attitudes of people like you are the reason so many people develop eating disorders. If you look outside your pathetic little world’s for one second you might spare a thought to how damaging these comments could be.

  18. Scarlett Johansson Bikini Cellulite
    Commented on this photo:

    she has an absolutely gorgeous face and figure. What’s wrong with you people? I don’t know many girls who look as great as she does.

  19. anon

    The woman has little in the way of actual talent. She uses her face and body to make a living. She sells products using photoshopped images of her face and body. That’s far more damaging than any comments on a message board. If she didn’t call the paps to get attention, no one would care.

  20. Scarlett Johansson Bikini Cellulite
    Commented on this photo:

    Yall some assholes.

  21. Scarlett Johansson Bikini Cellulite
    Commented on this photo:

    Genetics has plenty to do with it. I exercised 2 hours a day when I was 19 and still had cellulite in my rear (not my legs though) no matter what I did. My friend is 46 and she has no dimples at all. Unfair!

  22. Scarlett Johansson Bikini Cellulite
    Commented on this photo:


  23. Scarlett Johansson Bikini Cellulite
    Commented on this photo:

    cellulite aint botherin him…

  24. Scarlett Johansson Bikini Cellulite
    Commented on this photo:

    guests can still comment hhuh?

  25. Scarlett Johansson Bikini Cellulite
    Commented on this photo:

    So what every one has cellulite you just can’t see it on people with thicker skin. So sick of people acting like it is something horrible to be embarassed about…. wait until it happens to you. You can be extremely fit and still have it. Most men you can’t see it because their skin is thick look how fat some are and you still can’t see it. Guess what all you men making your rude comments women are better looking anyway go look at your hairy asses and shut up!

  26. Scarlett Johansson Bikini Cellulite
    Commented on this photo:

    ok…avoid the zoom tool at all cost.

  27. Do_Freebird

    Jane Fonda had the China Syndrome.
    Scarlett Johansson has the Delta Burke Syndrome.

  28. nadsak

    I would lick that ass until the sun burned out. She is HOT and any one who says otherwise is a dumbass.

  29. Veronica

    She’s a shitty actress with even shittier taste in men, but I still wouldn’t mind walking around the beach looking like that. Obviously, she’s got to watch it right now because she’s 27. It’s easy to let yourself go when you hit yours 30s. However, I’d be extremely disappointed if she lost weight (or gained). I like how she looks right here. Nate Naylor? Is that a command?

  30. Scarlett Johansson Bikini Cellulite
    Commented on this photo:

    Ice cream truck!

  31. Mel

    She looks great. Nice. Normal. Womanly.

  32. Scarlett Johansson Bikini Cellulite
    Commented on this photo:

    Didn’t Jabba have this exact same pose in one of the star wars movies?

  33. Scarlett Johansson Bikini Cellulite
    Commented on this photo:

    Note to Scarjo, don’t hang out with skinny chicks, it makes you look fatter.

  34. Scarlett Johansson Bikini Cellulite
    Commented on this photo:

    i think she looks beautiful, fun and curvacious! shes what women are supposed to look like

  35. Scarlett Johansson Bikini Cellulite
    Commented on this photo:

    “You turn your head and LOOK at me when I’m talking to you!”

  36. Anon

    Another example of a chick who gained a lot of weight then lost the weight too quickly and in all the wrong places.

    You can tell because her belly fat has stayed but her tits have gotten smaller because of her crappy diet.

  37. What the fudge

    I would have banged her pre Sean Penn but now that’s all I see is that Sean Penn nose. That fuckin giant Sean Penn nose all in that shit.
    Pre Sean Penn I would have fucked the fat off her stomach given the oppurtunity but now there’s no way I would offer my fat fuck off services. Too much giant Sean Penn nose going on with Scarlett Johansson. She looked like she really enjoyed Sean Penn.

    So She fucked Sean Penn, so now when I see her fat stomach all I can think about is Sean Penn. I didn’t see a fat stomach before but now it’s a fat stomach because of Sean Penn. I no longer see giant tits. All I see is fatty that used to enjoy fucking a 60 year old dude.

  38. Scarlett Johansson Bikini Cellulite
    Vote her off the island
    Commented on this photo:

    You’re an actor what the fuck are you doing eating cellulose based food products. Get the fuck away from corn. Holy shit you are a fucking fat beast, God damn woman put the fucking marshmellows down.

  39. marie

    Yuk..They are both butterballs. Look at the cellulite on her ass.

  40. Joaquin ingles

    She used to be so hot. What a waist.

    • Hmmm…you know, I might look at Kiera Knightly and say what a waist. Maybe Biel or Ricci or….oh wait a minute.

      You meant waste. Never mind.

  41. Mama Pinkus

    This is what I look like but I am 55.

  42. Scarlett Johansson Bikini Cellulite
    Commented on this photo:

    Whoa! She looks like a … normal woman, actually.

  43. mm

    I feel a lot better about myself now.

  44. Scarlett Johansson Bikini Cellulite
    Motorboat Captain
    Commented on this photo:
  45. Scarlett Johansson Bikini Cellulite
    Commented on this photo:

    Blah blah. All of us women have a little cellulite. I’m a little shrimp and I have a little. Some angles you’d never see it. Others, it’s like “where the eff did that come from?” It’s genetic for the most part, but being a healthy weight, running, and drinking a lot of water helps curb it. Most likely she fell victim to an unfort angle like J-Lo did like a year ago. I’m sure she has some, but this is a bad picture.

  46. Scarlett Johansson Bikini Cellulite
    Commented on this photo:

    She is still an attractive woman, but this is unfortunate.

  47. Scarlett Johansson Bikini Cellulite
    Commented on this photo:

    Ladies and gents, due to the fact that she is mid-run, scientifically, gravity is dragging any fat that has pushed through her muscle fibers downward, while she is pushing upward from the ball of foot. You know what that means? CELLULITE APPEARS. I’ve seen many pictures of thin, fit Pippa Middleton with cellulite as bad as this mid-run. It’s totally normal, so I really don’t think it’s necessary to be calling her fat. She may be out of shape, but she does not seem “fat” in any way. She looks around 22-23% body fat. That’s in the fit range, bitches.

  48. Scarlett Johansson Bikini Cellulite
    Commented on this photo:

    WOWWWWW. this woman is not fat. she has cellulite on her legs. big. fuckin. deal.

  49. Scarlett Johansson Bikini Cellulite
    Commented on this photo:

    taco bell for dinner, eh?

  50. Scarlett Johansson Bikini Cellulite
    Commented on this photo:

    You can’t beat that cellulite!!!

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