I don’t normally post at 11 o’clock on a Friday night, but when it’s People Who’ve Had Sex With Sean Penn Yet Somehow Still Look Great In A Bikini Day, all bets are off. So here’s Scarlett Johansson and her new boyfriend Nate Naylor (actual name) in Hawaii this afternoon which means Ryan Reynolds has to make Blake Lively parade around in a bikini now or everyone will know Scarlett used to beat him before bed each night. That’s how divorces work.
Adding… Come Monday morning, ScarJo’s cellulite will be splattered all over the Internet, but you lucky bastards get a chance to form your opinion two days in advance so I suggest you use that time wisely to think about how it really makes you feel. (I’m going with, “Bubblegum Butt gonna fight that Captain America till my pee-pee get hard.” It’s simple yet clear.)
Photos: Splash News