Scarlett Johansson and Jason Sudeikis. Why Not?

January 25th, 2011 // 36 Comments

As the world watched with bated breath to see how he could possibly top curbing January Jones despite looking like your dad, Jason Sudeikis has reportedly moved on to Scarlett Johansson. The two were recently spotted on a “double date” with Will Forte in Santa Monica, but according to Celebuzz, Scarlett’s rep insists it was purely platonic which is exactly what a rep is paid to do: Make their client look reasonable and not at all careening into a pit of poor decisions. At this point, I can’t help but feel Jason Sudeikis’ grand finale is going to involve firing a bullet through Brian Austin Green‘s skull then making love to Megan Fox through the exit hole. “Wait. But? How is that even-” you might be thinking. The man has the world’s largest penis. How has that not been implied by now?

Photos: Getty


  1. Que

    Que like this puta esta por que donde beliosa!

  2. kj

    Well, he *is* funny… maybe that’s the trick.

    • Lemme get you up to speed on something. Remember when they interviewed Playboy Playmates and asked them what their turn-ons were, and almost all of them said, “A guy with a good sense of humor”? Bullshit. That’s hot chick code for “a guy with a fat wallet”. The only humor they look for is laughing all the way to the bank.

    • fuckthat

      Okay, Iveski, so the playboy bunnies are full of shit, but not necessarily every chick who says she likes funny guys is full of shit. You know who turns me on more than anyone? Jason Segel. No fucking joke. People can be turned on by a good sense of humor. And Scarlett Johannson has absolutely no reason to be into Jason Sudakis’ money. She’s probably twice as rich as he is.

  3. Gallo

    This site should have a sidebar entry on whom Scarlett Johansson is porking rather than these frequent posts. Of course it would have to be updated at least daily, but that’s what interns are for.

    Naturally, I only said this because I die a little inside thinking that my name will never be on that list.

  4. I think I am just gonna be gay from now on..
    Yeah, for sure. I am convinced.
    -Gay in Cali.

  5. Jimbob

    This girl got rid of her implants and has nothing left to recommend her.

  6. That Guy

    He tickles her fancy.

  7. Scarlett Johannson Jason Sudeikis
    Commented on this photo:

    And who did Will Forte bring as his date pray tell? I’m guessing he went with himself, but dressed as half-Cher, half-Jenna Maroney.

  8. What's the Use?


    She is like every other girl her age……dabbling with schlongs not knowing who she wants to settle down with.

    fucking whore just die already

  9. testington

    major downgrade for both of them. Scarlet is one of those only pretty with a fuck-ton of make-up chicks…and now that she’s lost all that weight she doesn’t have that great of tits anymore.

    And Ryan Reyolds to Jason Sudeikis…wow, maybe she wanted more cushion for the pushin

  10. Fat cock + middling comedy = Scarlett Jo?
    Guess Ryan Reynolds is googling ‘penis pump’ right now.

  11. Scrote Phillips

    Pretty sure he was just the 99th caller.

  12. Parker

    I can see she’s pining for the pork sword. I’ll cleave her milky white buttcheeks with mine and fill her behind with pleasure.

  13. TomFrank

    Bonus points for spelling “bated breath” correctly. Unless you had “mastur-” in there originally. Then points off.

  14. Scarlett Johannson Jason Sudeikis
    Commented on this photo:


  15. well let’s see who the next person Scarlet is dating.

  16. Fletch

    Who friggin cares? This chick is not hot; cute maybe in a girl next door kind of way, but not hot.

    I don’t understand the fascination with this chick. I’m not saying I wouldn’t do her but there are a lot more better looking actresses than this chick.

  17. alex

    This post made me surprisingly angry. Jason fucking Sudeikis? Really?

    No talent, no tom cruise looks, no money, wtf is going on here? And for that matter, what the fuck is that no-talent doing on SNL?? For 6 fucking years?

    Fuck you Jason Sudeikis. And I guess fuck you too ScarJo. Damn.

    • Remember Tim Meadows? He was about as funny as cancer, and was on SNL for what felt like an eon.

      I’m not arguing or anything… reminiscing, really.

  18. Dr Sigmund Freud

    kill them kill them all before it’s too late

  19. Richard McBeef

    I would pay good money to see someone fuck MF through BAG’s GSW to the head.

  20. cc

    WHO THE FUCK is Jason Sudeikis anyway?!

    • Mortimer Duke

      These comments are so stupid. Especially when there is a pic posted and his name is an active lnk. Click the fucking link and find out! Dont be a douche wad your entire life.

      • taco flavored kisses

        @MD I think they meant it as a statement, not a question.

        I care so little that I *refuse* to click the link, and no way I’m the only one. Fuck that butt-average “only pretty with a ton of makeup” [props] skank anyway. Dude prolly found another dude’s pubes and a snuffed out cig in her coagulated smegma, like a fly in amber.

  21. Scarlett Johannson Jason Sudeikis
    Commented on this photo:

    Gorgeous dress… but she’s at least 20 years too young for it. I think she went shopping in Helen Mirren’s closet.

  22. wim

    the only chanche to survive as a celibrity in america is just act like prudish americans.

  23. one legged

    she is a normal boring looking jew..
    anyone can mack her after 2 shots..

  24. Galtacticus

    Whatever these rumors are. Hollywood in general, that’s a club as well. Certainly not easy to get into. But once you’re in, you’re pretty much settled. Lots of invitations will be coming within your reach.

  25. Rhialto

    Hmm, talking about smart local marketing.

  26. Gando

    I don’t expect Scarlett Johansson having difficulties with picking men. Just look at her and her works. Agents are usually the ones who are hooking them up. To keep the chimney smoking the best as possible. Because they’re a brand, that’s right.

    • Rhialto

      *strokes chin* Yeah… But never trust blind on agents. Always keep in charge of the decisions made.

      • Nero

        The audience isn’t blind forever. There must be a click there must be somehow chemistry. Whether it’s sexual, artistic, intellectual, being comfortable and so on. Because who does like to be hooked up with LiLo, Kim Kardashian or Snooki for example?

      • Rhialto

        I’d rather say Lindsay Lohan instead of LiLo…

      • Nero

        I’m just watching her IMDb profile and i think she can be considered a successful actress.

  27. Diana

    Girl only looks above average with a push-up bra and a few hours with makeup artists, stylists, etc. Yet another boring blonde chick.

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