As the world watched with bated breath to see how he could possibly top curbing January Jones despite looking like your dad, Jason Sudeikis has reportedly moved on to Scarlett Johansson. The two were recently spotted on a “double date” with Will Forte in Santa Monica, but according to Celebuzz, Scarlett’s rep insists it was purely platonic which is exactly what a rep is paid to do: Make their client look reasonable and not at all careening into a pit of poor decisions. At this point, I can’t help but feel Jason Sudeikis’ grand finale is going to involve firing a bullet through Brian Austin Green‘s skull then making love to Megan Fox through the exit hole. “Wait. But? How is that even-” you might be thinking. The man has the world’s largest penis. How has that not been implied by now?