Sarah Silverman decides five years of pity sex is enough for Jimmy Kimmel

July 14th, 2008 // 87 Comments

Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel have officially split, according to Vanity

Kimmel’s rep Lewis Kay and Silverman’s rep Amy Zvi both confirmed that Jimmy and Sarah are no longer dating and issued a joint statement that “Jimmy and Sarah have and will have no further comment.”

The two dated for roughly five years in a situation that left many wondering “Is Jimmy Kimmel really that funny off-camera or does his penis double as an espresso maker?” The world may never know.

UPDATE: It opens a portal to Narnia. I can’t really get into how I found out, but you should probably know The Geekologie Writer will be MIA for a couple of days…

Photos: Splash News

  1. tc

    I don’t know who she is, but she is masturbatingly breasty.

  2. tc

    I don’t know who she is, but she is masturbatingly breasty.

  3. Drunkman

    This is the best thing to ever happen to Jimmy Kimmel

  4. Marcus

    To me she looks like a big-toothed horse with a nice figure. But if you’d have to live with that face to get the bod, forget it. And that nasal, whiney voice. I also don’t find her funny most of the time. She just doesn’t make me laugh. Curious as to who dumped who, but since he left his wife for her, I’m pretty confident it was her to did the dumping. Would like to find out more.

  5. Jetdoc

    Wow, if I ever seem to forget how much hate, ignorance and prejudice are in the US…I just need to read most any random forum….sad and pathetic.

  6. And do not allow your candy ass to forget it either.
    Now crawl back under that rock.

  7. Big Bird

    Hey who’s the real loser here? that fat unfunny hack kimmel got to fuck this bitchy unfunny cunt who has no right to be that hot, good god. Go JIMMY!!!

  8. She seems like she’d cry before, during, and after sex… which would stop being fun after the first few months.

  9. havoc

    #55…or just visit the Gaza Strip, Paris, France, Berlin, oh…Pakistan, Myanmar, Darfur and Indonesia.

  10. klb

    Aw this makes me sad….I always thought they seemed like a cool couple. Five years is an eternity in Hollywood!

  11. I think this girl won’t mind AT ALL!!!

  12. Chupacabra

    it’s the 5 year itch. She realized, she really COULD fuck Matt Damon if she wanted to. Maybe that song was the beginning of the message: hey, fatso, I can do better… get it?

    Go Sarah – you are one funny jewess.

  13. Madre de Dios

    How anyone doesn’t want to do a chick with a rack like that is beyond me.

  14. She’s funny and hot and that’s a great combo. I’d lick that Star of David…

  15. HuckyDucky

    The Thurston Howell quote was hilarious, “Lovey”.

    And she is gratuitously offensive, which I don’t like. But I would drill her. Hey, I like Jewish chicks.

  16. Zukyia

    Yeah she’s crude and vulgar, but she’s adorable =)

  17. dianne

    i hate that jewish bitch!

  18. Vince Lombardi

    Wow. Hearing this news really brightened my day! I really think Sarah is pretty and clearly she’s got a sense of humor since she slept with Kimmel for all those months.

    However, she does need to stick to TELLING the jokes and not WRITING them. Some of her skits on her show were so “insider joke” that nobody got them. And I’m reasonably bright when it comes to satirical stuff – even I found myself saying “Huh?” a few times.

    Nevertheless, I love you, Sarah Silverman. There, I said it. As soon as you’re done fucking Matt Damon, have your people call me people. We’ll hook up.

  19. Vince Lombardi

    “Have your people call ME people?” WTF??? When did I turn Irish???

  20. Sarah is cool

    Damn, there’s some really racist motherfuckers in here. So she’s Jewish, so what? You guys are just pissed off at the jokes she wrote about you. That were funny. I hope that she is happy, regardless of what went down.

  21. Chauncey Gardner

    The break-up was precipitated by the seventh operation in five years to remove several pounds of Sarah’s matted six-inch-long pubic hairs from Jimmy’s colon. (The network refused to pay for it this time.)

  22. you do realize

    that over 80 percent of hollwood is jewish?

    why do people act like she is one of the few?
    i will be a douche and post a long list as a reminder that these people own the media.
    * Paula Abdul
    * Woody Allen
    * Judd Apatow
    * Shiri Appleby
    * Avi Arad Star of David
    * Adam Arkin
    * Alan Arkin (new!)
    * David Arquette
    * Patricia Arquette
    * Rosanna Arquette
    * Mili Avital Star of David
    * Hank Azaria
    * Lauren Bacall
    * Elizabeth Banks
    * Ellen Barkin
    * Jay Baruchel
    * Justin Bartha
    * Richard Belzer
    * Miri Ben-Ari Star of David
    * Justin Berfield
    * Rachel Bilson
    * Thora Birch
    * Jack Black
    * Michael Ian Black
    * David Blaine
    * Selma Blair
    * Yasmine Bleeth
    * Jonah Bobo
    * Alex Borstein
    * Zach Braff
    * Matthew Broderick
    * Adam Brody
    * Adrien Brody
    * Albert Brooks
    * Mel Brooks
    * David Broza Star of David
    * Brooke Burke
    * Amanda Bynes
    * Scott Caan
    * Neve Campbell
    * Lizzy Caplan
    * Cartoon Characters
    * Emmanuelle Chriqui
    * Matt Cohen
    * Sacha “Borat” Cohen
    * Jennifer Connelly
    * David Cross
    * Flora Cross
    * Billy Crystal
    * Jamie Lee Curtis
    * Tony Curtis

    D-G (back to top)
    Jake Gyllenhaal

    * John Francis Daley
    * Kat Dennings
    * Kirk Douglas
    * Michael Douglas
    * Fran Drescher
    * Richard Dreyfuss
    * Adam Duritz
    * Lisa Edelstein
    * Zac Efron
    * Hallie Eisenberg
    * Jesse Eisenberg
    * Jamie Elman
    * Nora Ephron
    * Jake Epstein
    * Peter Falk
    * Oded Fehr Star of David
    * Halley Feiffer
    * Ben Feldman
    * Carrie Fisher
    * Isla Fisher
    * Sean Flynn Amir
    * Harrison Ford
    * Ben Foster
    * James Franco
    * Al Franken
    * Dan Futterman
    * Mark “Babaloo” Mandel & Lowell Ganz
    * Victor Garber
    * Andrew Garfield
    * Jeff Garlin
    * Brad Garrett
    * Sarah Michelle Gellar
    * Gina Gershon
    * Jami Gertz
    * Melissa Gilbert
    * Sara Gilbert
    * Jessalyn Gilsig
    * Elon Gold
    * Adam Goldberg
    * Jeff Goldblum
    * William Goldman
    * Ginnifer Goodwin
    * Joseph Gordon-Levitt
    * Gilbert Gottfried
    * Alexander Gould
    * Elliott Gould
    * Aubrey Graham
    * Seth Green
    * Bryan Greenberg
    * Max Greenfield (new!)
    * Jennifer Grey (new!)
    * Zena Grey
    * Charles Grodin
    * Greg Grunberg
    * Christopher Guest
    * Steve Guttenberg
    * Jake Gyllenhaal
    * Maggie Gyllenhaal

    H-N (back to top)
    Kate Hudson

    * Evan Handler
    * Alyson Hannigan
    * Cole Hauser
    * Goldie Hawn
    * Jessica Hecht
    * Dan Hedaya
    * Jonah Hill
    * Dustin Hoffman
    * Jake Hoffman
    * Kate Hudson
    * Oliver Hudson
    * Helen Hunt
    * Amy Irving
    * Jason Isaacs
    * Scarlett Johansson
    * Rashida Jones
    * Carol Kane
    * Chris Kattan
    * Julie Kavner
    * Lainie Kazan
    * Richard Kind
    * Ben Kingsley
    * Mia Kirshner
    * Kevin Kline
    * Sacsha Knopf
    * Zoe Kravitz
    * David Krumholtz
    * Lisa Kudrow
    * Mila Kunis
    * Ben Kweller
    * Shia LaBeouf
    * Adam Lamberg
    * Martin Landau
    * John Landis
    * Jennifer Jason Leigh
    * Adam Levine
    * Samm Levine
    * Eugene Levy
    * Alex D. Linz
    * Lisa Loeb
    * Jon Lovitz
    * Natasha Lyonne
    * Benjamin Maccabbee Star of David
    * Gabriel Macht
    * Josh Malina
    * Leonard Maltin (new!)
    * Howie Mandel
    * Eli Marienthal
    * Matisyahu
    * Marlee Matlin
    * Idina Menzel
    * Debra Messing
    * Bette Midler
    * Larry Miller
    * Isaac Mizrahi
    * Rick Moranis
    * Yael Naim Star of David
    * Naked Brothers Band
    * Tim Blake Nelson
    * Bebe Neuwirth
    * Paul Newman
    * Leonard Nimoy

    O-R (back to top)
    Paul Rudd

    * Logan O’Brien
    * Sophie Okonedo
    * Gwyneth Paltrow
    * Sarah Jessica Parker
    * Adam Pascal
    * Mandy Patinkin
    * Scott Patterson
    * Sean Paul
    * Sara Paxton
    * Josh Peck
    * Amanda Peet
    * Ashley Peldon
    * Courtney Peldon
    * Itzhak Perlman Star of David
    * Joaquin Phoenix
    * Pink
    * Jeremy Piven
    * Natalie Portman Star of David
    * Laura Prepon
    * Daniel Radcliffe
    * Josh Radnor
    * Idan Raichel Star of David
    * Harold Ramis
    * Nathalia Ramos
    * Nikki Reed
    * Rob Reiner
    * Ivan Reitman
    * Leah Remini
    * Joan Rivers
    * Doris Roberts
    * Seth Rogen
    * Michael Rosenbaum
    * Emmy Rossum
    * Paul Rudd
    * Maya Rudolph
    * Sara Rue
    * Keri Russell
    * Winona Ryder

    S-Z (back to top)
    Rachel Weisz

    * Daryl Sabara
    * Evan Sabara
    * Katey Sagal
    * Bob Saget
    * Andy Samberg
    * Adam Sandler
    * Fred Savage
    * Rob Schneider
    * Liev Schreiber
    * Jason Schwartzman
    * David Schwimmer
    * Jason Segel
    * Jerry Seinfeld
    * Jane Seymour
    * Garry Shandling
    * William Shatner
    * Wallace Shawn
    * Harry Shearer
    * Ally Sheedy
    * Pauly Shore
    * Jamie-Lynn Sigler
    * Jonathan Silverman (new!)
    * Shel Silverstein
    * Alicia Silverstone
    * Neil Simon
    * Ione Skye
    * Lindsay Sloane
    * Gregory Smith
    * Lemony Snickett
    * Rena Sofer
    * Marla Sokoloff
    * Yamit Sol Star of David (new!)
    * Bahar Soomekh
    * Regina Spektor
    * Steven Spielberg
    * Jordana Spiro
    * Martin Starr
    * Daniel Stern
    * Jon Stewart
    * Ben Stiller
    * Lauren Storm
    * Barbra Streisand
    * Danny Strong
    * Superheroes
    * Kevin Sussman
    * Alona Tal Star of David
    * Elizabeth Taylor
    * Ashley Tisdale
    * Mageina Tovah
    * Michelle Trachtenberg
    * Ricky Ullman Star of David
    * Anneliese van der Pol
    * Michael Vartan
    * Leslie Ann Warren (new!)
    * Matt Weinberg
    * Kevin Weisman
    * Rachel Weisz
    * Zoe Weizenbaum
    * Gene Wilder
    * Debra Winger
    * Henry Winkler
    * Mare Winningham
    * Marissa Jaret Winokur
    * Evan Rachel Wood
    * Noah Wyle
    * Gideon Yago
    * Anton Yelchin
    * Ian Ziering
    * Ayelet Zurer

  23. Realized long ago that these characters dictate entertainment

    yeah it is quite racist isn’t it that this minority controls the potent stimulus which opiates the masses and holds them at bay.
    Better not complain though. That would make you an anti-semite and stuff. But you can make fun of all the other races. They don’t have souls like the Ashkenazis. We are all subhuman, remember?

  24. #73 and all the other morons on here- you retards, no one is fucking forcing you to watch movies or whatever. You don’t like that a huge percentage of hollywood is Jewish? Well then GO THE FUCK AWAY and don’t watch movies or TV!! No one is forcing you idiots to watch anything. Jews control the media!! whine whine wah wah booo fucking hoooo. It’s not a closed casting call, anyone can get in. If these Jews are more talented than you are don’t whine like a dumbass two year old because you have a shitty job making 8 bucks an hour. Yet all you complainers keep paying for movies and whatever else. You don’t like it, LEAVE. And I love how all of the sudden the “JEW” comments come out by someone like Sarah S, but you’re all mostly silent by people you like such as Jake Gyl. etc. Take it or leave it, kiss my butt, and good night folks.

  25. for #74

    Listen phony Jew, and that is what you are faggot. You think that 80% of Hollywood being Jewish is fair? Racist. AntiWhite is what you are. Your genetics are so muddled that you wish you looked like we do with our blonde and brown and red hair and colorful eyes. All you ever did in this world is go straight to the money and the merchandise and not to work like the MEN of the world.
    And I guess the only sense of fair play to you is advantage, eh cheater?
    Now go get a nose job. (What’s up with that hook?)

    As to the silence on Jews we like, if we like them then we don’t hate on them you stupid motherfucker. A lot of people hate this whore because she is a dirty pig. Her show is juvenile and not funny, it is creepy and disgusting. A little girl hold out feces for all traffic to see while her mother lies dying in bed. Man oh man that ain’t the America I remember growing up.

    Yeah and Guten Nacht to you too.

  26. Heather

    That’s funny….she’s posing for those cameras thinkin’ she’s all hot…

    Yeah, right, I mean, it’s obvious she hasn’t even looked in a mirror her whole life. Ugh.

  27. Katydid

    She has nice big boobs and her ass is cute too.

  28. #75:

    [high pitched voice] you think that 80% of Hollywood being Jewish is fair? [/high pitched voice] Since when is life fair dumbass? Waah wah wah, there you go bitching again because you aren’t as successful as some Jews are. What the FUCK is fair? Should there be mandates in place to ensure that a percentage of each race is represented in hollywood? You’re the same kind of arrogant asshole that would complain if blacks have affirmative action, yet when it isn’t your race in the lead you turn into a sobbing pile of shit. Oh wah waahh waahhh, many acupuncturists are Asian, it’s NOT FAIIIIIR that they dominate the field, sob sob. You’re a complete joke.

    How can I be anti-white when I am white? Not to mention that I have blond hair and hazel eyes. You’re obviously a deluded hate-steeped jealous supremist with 1930 ideas and a whole lot of empty in that skull of yours. Sorry little boy/thing/it, but your pathetic ideas of race and blond-haired supremacy expired long ago, along with your mentally insane idol Hitler. Now go get some lipo you fat-assed sports-loving all-American obese tub of lard.

    Guten Nacht, scheise-for-brains.

  29. Frank

    It’s funny how Jews are at the vanguard when it comes to pushing ‘diversity’ in every line of work they themselves aren’t interested in. Silverman is a disgusting whore.

  30. #76

    As to racial supremacy, I do not believe I mentioned that and it certainly must be on your mind thus denoting an inferiority complex of sorts. I don’t blame you. I mean if I looked like a dork or was related to such…
    As to fair play, obviously morality means nothing to you and yours, does it? I am an ethically driven person and so is my family. Is yours?
    Hollywood is a cabal of filth and perversion. They whore out anything possible for profit regardless of the societal implications. But hey, that’s capitalism for you.
    How do you feel about the concept of recurring revenue. You know, making cheap shit that falls apart so you can steal, I mean sell more cheap shit as opposed to creating viable products with sustaining quality?
    As to other races, I am fine. My only problem is any people that considers themselves better than others and I believe 80% of Hollywood being Jewish is pure racism. You don’t. We disagree. It’s really that simple and I must keep it simple for someone like yourself.
    As for being fat, there is none here little fella.
    My ideas of race? Tell me more. I will tell you that in a whirlwind whole nations have fallen victim to the depravations of the Centrists. What good is there in that for the people other than those who are the vampires?
    So anyway, go suck blood and cock and eat shit you pathetic rambling little soft assemblage of nonsense and wretchedness.

  31. MightyD

    She still looks like Adam Goldberg…

    Kudos to the posters bringing the “imaginary friend” fight to the board…
    *rolling eyes*

  32. Mr Pink


  33. i thought she was a lesbian. for real.

  34. Trolly McLeprechaun

    Look people, everyone knows that there are people in the world that like some people and not others. This site is for Sarah Silverman FANS! I like the way you put it #74! I couldn’t say it any better!

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