Sarah Silverman decides five years of pity sex is enough for Jimmy Kimmel

July 14th, 2008 // 87 Comments

Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel have officially split, according to Vanity

Kimmel’s rep Lewis Kay and Silverman’s rep Amy Zvi both confirmed that Jimmy and Sarah are no longer dating and issued a joint statement that “Jimmy and Sarah have and will have no further comment.”

The two dated for roughly five years in a situation that left many wondering “Is Jimmy Kimmel really that funny off-camera or does his penis double as an espresso maker?” The world may never know.

UPDATE: It opens a portal to Narnia. I can’t really get into how I found out, but you should probably know The Geekologie Writer will be MIA for a couple of days…

Photos: Splash News

  1. veggi

    Goddamn I hate this fuckin ugly hairy jew. I’d love to kick her in the vag with my steel-tipped boot until her clit is just a smashed red dot, then glue it to her forehead so she looks like a hairy pimento-headed Indian cunt instead.

  2. UCrawford

    So you’re saying she’s available? Alriiiight!!!

  3. FIRST!


  4. Jeff Millz

    Could it be true?! Was she INDEED f#$ing Matt Damon?! Was he INDEED doing Ben Affleck?! The world may never know…(Either way, Sarah…call me!)

  5. hhh

    Who the fuck is this useless person?

    • goddamu

      this chick and her big tits, long legs and tight ass is so damn sexy – bet she is one hell of a good time in bed- I’d love to fuck her -

  6. Way to go Jimmy.
    Those jew bitches with big noses are a dime a dozen.
    I wish someone would slap that goofy ass smurk of her face.

    • goddamu

      boy you gay christian ted haggerty loving assholes sure do hate sexy women–
      somebody needs to lock you sissy fucks up before you go on a mass shooting rampage.
      we know you prefer you lovers more like gay cheerleading georgie-boy bush type- so you are in the wrong place here– try www.

  7. Nexera

    I always thought Jimmy was WAY too good for her anyway. She is a hideous troll and her humor made me cringe more than laugh.

  8. havoc

    How the fuck he lasted 5 years listening to this nasally-impaired and very unfunny labia wrap is beyond me……


  9. Wow, never realized what a great rack she had… Her stock is rising, and so is something else ;)

  10. Ted Kennedy's tumor

    Kimmel was funny as hell when he was on KROQ radio in LA. Better than that Ralph Garmin retard.

    Kimmel was married to a pretty hot lady before this skank came along.

  11. nipolian

    I’ll bet that guy in black in the second pic sounds just like Thurston Howell III when he talks.

  12. I always wondered where the racist and/or bigot assholes went to talk shit about celebrities…. ahh Makes sense.

  13. Pixie

    She can be funny but then gets lazy and does toliet humor and bad sex jokes. Well now she can get some new action and I hope she gets a lot of quality oral sex as well as a nice size cock and a nice looking guy who is fun and fit !

  14. So like, uh, here in Narnia if it has a humanish face it’s fair game, right?

  15. DarkSecret

    Damn #1 (veggie) you are going way to easy on her…… !!! Way to come out first with a bang!!!

  16. somebody

    I always thought she was descent looking… in a not quite perfect but natural sort of way…

  17. Thank God

    Two of the biggest, most untalented ass clowns that pass for celebrities in today’s world.

    Thank God they separated before they produced the next generation Ben Stiller.

  18. Derek

    This made my day. I will daydream about the vile, unholy, unmentionable, inappropriate, disgusting things I would do to her body… Down with productivity!

    I’d make her come to (for) Jesus (me). ZING!!!

  19. Randal

    I’ve spent many evenings laughing up a storm from your skits Sarah and it doesn’t matter what your dating situation happens to be, just as long as you continue bringing out the laughs in all of us.

    As a young, talented and beautiful lady, you’ll be dating and falling in love again in no time.


  20. Raquel

    She must have a dude’s hairy asshole. Not to mention some long black hairs coming out of her nipples. And pubes starting just under her bellybutton.

  21. Zohan Moses Israel

    I want to suck the Menonites out of her boobies.

    I would also love to nail her wailing wall.

  22. Boston_Freek

    Veggi is my damn hero. Heroine. Whatever. That post ROCKED

  23. Matthew

    to no.8 they were never funny to begin with!

  24. Cash907

    Damn Veggie, I’m surprised you could spare enough time from masturbating to your autographed pic of Hitler to string together that bile filled racist remark, or did releasing all that rage at climax just heighten the orgasm for ya?

    Either way, you’re just a load your ugly ass momma shoulda swallowed.

  25. Auntie Kryst

    @11 Thurston Howell, good one!! I didn’t see it at first, then on further review I got it.

    @24 that’s not Veggie, it’s her sick troll.

  26. Ted from LA

    I liked Jimmy until he did that cross country fill in for Regis in the morning and return to do his show that night commute. It became all about him and he wouldn’t shut the fuck up about it. Big deal. You sat on your ass in an airplane… I’m sure there will be an Emmy in it for you. And that “I’m fucking Matt Damon” song was the least funny thing I’ve watched since any episode of Friends.

    So, back to the photo’s at hand. Are those tits real? If so, I salute you.

  27. jesussuperstar

    pixie i agree with you, I hope sarah gets everything she wants in the next guy like great oral and a big cock, the chick is funny and deserves it!

  28. mimi

    Sarah Silverman SUCKS! She is a nasty B!tch!


  29. sameshitdifferentyear

    So “Zira” Silverman, or is it Sarah, got enough exposure from the fat-assed cross-eyed Stern-clone.

    Next step up Zira, aim much higher fucking your way to the….. lower middle. And remember to shave your back before that first date, just in case he isn’t into the whole hirsute thing.

  30. Trover

    Her eyebrows frighten me. Bet she has hairy arms too. And we all know what that might mean……SLINGBLADE.

  31. Loser

    She is a pig.

  32. Jerry Lewis' Sister in a thong

    Yeah this cunt sure must have connections because she is not funny or witty but is chosen nonetheless.
    I am one of the hated – an Anglo Saxon (you will be rid of us in this country soon)

  33. Nick

    I love Sarah she’s hot and funny as hell. Look at her tits in pic 1. Hell yeah!!

  34. jen

    Good for you girl. We all know Jimmy had a small cock and that you deserve to be fucked good and hard with a big one.
    Keep the laughs coming!

  35. Ted from LA

    I am guessing there is one question Jimmy won’t miss hearing, “Honey, would you please shave my neck?”

  36. Jay

    When did she buy those boobs?

  37. moneil

    Wow! Seems like they’ve been together forever! If you love celebrity gossip, be sure to check out the trivia on!

  38. Sash

    Finally! This bitch is soooo unfunny. I’m tired of Jimmy pullin strings to get her gigs.

  39. jimmy sucked anyway

    Kimmel sucks my left nut. I’d bone sarah silverman in a minute. Great tits!

  40. me

    Well, she is f*cking Matt Damon.

  41. I heard she wets the bed.

  42. your mom

    I have no idea who this lady is. She’s cute, though.

  43. LEB

    I guess he got tired of her f*cking Matt Damon.

    Or she got tired of him f*cking Ben Affleck.

  44. asshat

    wow, she is almost as hairy as robin williams

  45. Axabitte

    Sarah Silverman is hot. She is smart, funny, and HOT.
    I <3 SS :-)

  46. DrDanny

    Sarah, baby! Call me!

  47. carrie

    hohoho, I saw her profile on the celebrities/rich men seeking affairs site Mixed mingle . c o m last week. It said she is interested in seeking a rich man for man on that site! what a fool woman!

  48. #47 carrie, you have an appointment tomorrow at noon. At noon in Hell.

  49. IKE

    Nice rack!

  50. Some Girl on the Net

    Sarah’s single? You wouldn’t happen to know if she’s gone gay, would you?

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