Sarah Silverman ditches Jimmy Kimmel. For real this time.

March 8th, 2009 // 71 Comments

Sarah Silverman has made a conscious decision to stop crying after sex and broke things off with Jimmy Kimmel, according to Us Magazine:

“Sarah initiated the split this time,” the source tells Us. “He’s bummed.”
This breakup happened within the last two weeks.
“He’s really blue — very down,” another source tells Us. “Seems like it’s over for good this time. He’s sad because he just bought a new place and now has nobody to share it with.”

No one can be entirely shocked by this news. I mean, ladies, look at Jimmy Kimmel. Would you let this man have sex with you? No, of course not. Now, guys, look at Sarah Silverman. Would you have sex with her? Yes, of course you would. Because let’s face it, we’d probably put our penis in an electrical outlet if the thought ever occurred to us. …. *ZAP*

Photos: Getty
superficial

  1. whoa, where did she get those boobs??

  2. AdamYYZ

    First!,

    Anyway, I think shes hot. Call me Sarah!

  3. You were totally not first.

  4. queen

    Interesting!
    My friend recommended me a very interesting place *** Affluentmeet Com *** It ‘s where you have the opportunity dreaming about dating a millionaire and make it true!

  5. wtf

    Two talentless people that I couldn’t care less about break up… who cares? I do have to agree though when did she get boobs? must be an expensive push up bra

  6. Lowlands

    Who are these people? And what are they doing here? Who’s responsible!?

  7. Sauron

    They probably broke up because he didn’t succeed to look her deep in the eyes.

  8. Cash

    Awww… he’s sad cuz he just bought a new place, and has no one to share it with.

    Boo hoo Kimmel…. I’m sure the thousands of people being evicted from their homes every day in this shit economy really give a crap about all the space you have to take up all by your fat unfunny lonesome.

  9. Mike

    Brother and sister never make a good couple.

  10. Gando

    She doesn’t show much interest on these pics.When the sparkle is gone,people should break up and don’t search for excuses to stay.

  11. eric

    Jimmy has a ton of money. He should have no problem finding women.

  12. 1moreidiotintheworld

    Sarah Silverman sucks!

  13. Darth

    In front of his big house there’s probably a big road.Look on the corner there!

  14. Nero

    She has a third eye on her necklet.Maybe that’s why his eyes are crossed looking!

  15. That kardashian ad is driving me NUTz…She birth some beautiful girls that MaMa Kardashian, the two little ones are future knockouts…

  16. Maybe I should hump her

    She needs a real woman to satisfy her

  17. Lowlands

    How do you know it’s for real this time? Unfortunally not many people are like me.When i say it’s the end,it’s the END.

  18. Anexio

    Why would any man do Sarah Silverman when Jimmy Kimmel has already stuck his gherkin in her? Her vagina has the smell, look and feel as Wilard Scotts’ used condom.

    Conversely, if I had the opportunity to bang her she would be so grateful for a real fuck that she’d never stop calling me.

    I guess I am pretty amazing. Yeah, I’m very amazing.

  19. mai-tai

    Jimmy Kimmel is not that bad looking.

  20. R2-D2

    Blip bloop! More sexy and willing androids please! Beep!

  21. I was First once upon a time

    Dirty cunt that bitch. Not funny. Just dirty.

  22. 1 MILF Hunter

    #2 – OK, you’re Sarah.

  23. todd

    Is she fucking Matt Damon still?

  24. schweet

    nice joobs

  25. KDogg

    Uhhhh,
    Sarah Silverman is disgusting.

  26. Matthew

    sarah silverman =Not funny

  27. ugh

    wow jews are ugly. no wonder they’re always angry and killing palestinian kids.

  28. bob

    I agree, those are some ugly Jews.

    Sarah S is one of the biggest btw

  29. quake

    w/e she’s busted anyway

  30. feckless

    #17 is a lie-teller and I’m glad.

  31. Awww… New place and no one to share it with???

    Poor baby, maybe you can call your ex-wife. You know, the woman who was married to you for 12 years when you were a nobody working a nothing job, who bore you two children and you dumped for Sara Silverman once you got famous?

    Go cry yourself to sleep on your huge pillow, asswipe.

  32. Knows the Score

    From DAY ONE Sarah has used men more talented than her, or better connected than her, to forward her asthmatic career.
    She started out fucking comedians who would then write shows for her, move up a notch, and dump him for someone else who could help her get to the next step. Every single “boyfriend” she had was also her writer, or enabler in her career somehow. Every time, as soon as one “boyfriend” ran out of gas to further her career, she dumped him and moved to the next clueless idiot.
    Once she got her own show on Comedy Central, I knew Jimmy’s days were numbered. The bitch is ruthless, and mercantile. The jewish version of “All About Eve.”

  33. Molly

    who cares is she used men to further her career? i don’t like Sarah Silverman but i don’t see how that’s so bad, lol, that’s how it is in their business – It’s all about who you know, and if you don’t know anybody you had better GET to know them

  34. L Ron Hubbard

    Ugly and no talent. The bitch won’t even be able to turn tricks.

  35. duwayne josephsson

    You keep that man OFF the Vanity Fair circle you fool!

  36. timmy the dying boy

    No, I wouldn’t have sex with her. I’d prefer the wall socket.

  37. JoeT Momma

    Sarah is a genius – of comedy, timing, irony, and orgasm extraction!
    She should (Atlas) shrug out of the pathetic comedy central offer and go ALL IN FOR HERSELF! Later jimma…

    Her sister too!

  38. john

    She’s cute, she’ll be fine.

  39. blackout

    I like her jewbs.

  40. alice

    She is beautiful. It is said that she is dating friends online. Once I saw her photos and profile on ——–Seek rich Com..

  41. cellgirl

    SARAH SILVERMAN SUCKS!

  42. Fati

    I only remember seeing this chick in one episode of Seinfeld where she played Kramer’s girlfriend. Would someone please tell me what the fuck is the deal with those eyebrows?! Has she never heard of tweezers? Or is it a thing of hers, you know, natural beauty? She must have a wild bush down there. Gross.

  43. Truk

    Sarah’s pretty- Jimmy looks like a penguin

  44. Michael Jackson

    He could do a lot better than this ugly jewish cunt anyway. With his money he could be banging a playmate if he applied himself. Look at the ass that ugly jew Bill Maher pulls, and he isn’t half as famous or successful.

  45. AdamYYZ

    #22

    Actually, I *AM* Sarah Silverman. And for the record, I have a really roast-beefy vagina. That’s why I’m alone right now. It’s like a canoe full of moose meat. It’s a jewish thing.

  46. Oren

    Hey Sarah! Sorry to hear the bad news… I am the guy who is marrying Lloyd’s (your uncle?) niece next month in Israel. why don’t you come?

  47. What a weird looking couple

  48. What a weird looking couple

  49. .

    Ewww, has she been blind/drunk/drugged for the entire time they’ve been together?

  50. FINALLY, women want honesty?

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