Sarah ‘Paylin” porno footage (Sadly, safe for work)

October 23rd, 2008 // 72 Comments

Do you enjoy porn and political satire? Of course, we all do. So, being the Pro-American that I am, I’ve included the first minute of the Who’s Nailin’ Paylin’? parody after the jump which was obviously shot on a way smaller budget than the real Sarah Palin’s $150K wardrobe allowance. In fact, I’m pretty sure these people were paid in hamburgers. That said, the special effects are pretty sweet. I loved the tank crashing into the pipeline. It’s sort of symbolic of America’s dependence on foreign oil and, more importantly, the boner I’m about to have later.

NOTE: Video is safe for work unless your employer has a strict “no shitty acting” policy.

Photos: WENN

  1. H

    first in cali

  2. tabacchifc

    the real bombs

  3. JimmyBachaFungool

    Looks nothing like her and I prefer the real Sarah Palin who is hot. This boob job chick is gross.

  4. hendero

    She’s sporting the big guns today.

  5. JT

    Nice cgi action with the tanks… this is worse than a pizza guy coming to the door. I agree about the nasty boob job.

  6. Palin is hotter than this chick and WAY hotter than tina fey.

    Obama runs in panic to Hawaii with the FBI on his tail .
    Barry Hussein Obama scrambles to find a Birth Certificate that does not exist. The entire Obama campain in disorder and PANIC.
    FBI pushed by CLINTON’s to verify Obama’s citizenship.

  7. Dr. San Fernando

    I have to agree with Jimmy. The real Sarah Palin is hotter than Lisa Ann. What they should of done is made a porno about Sarah Palin’s teen years and early twenties, kind of like a hardcore Election. If I wanted to watch my mom fuck I would leave the basement where I am living right now, walk upstairs, and open her bedroom door, because I just know her and her boyfriend, Craig the Exterminator, are fucking. I can hear them. Craig is 52 years old and doesn’t need viagara to fuck. That’s what my mom told me.

  8. Who’s nailing paylin?

  9. BEAM

    “It’s sort of symbolic of America’s dependence on foreign oil and, more importantly, the boner I’m about to have later.”

    In that case, let’s not drill our own oil. That would make sense.

  10. today's news

    “New polls showed Wednesday that seven weeks after John McCain plucked the Alaska governor from political obscurity to be his running mate in the November 4 elections, Palin is seen as an increasing liability for Republicans.

    The Wall Street Journal/NBC News poll found that Americans are less and less convinced she is worthy to serve as the country’s number-two leader.

    “Her numbers have plummeted in our poll … what’s more 55 percent think she’s unqualified to serve as president if the need arises, which is a troublesome number given McCain’s age,” said NBC political director Chuck Todd.

    The poll also puts the 72-year-old McCain 10 points behind his Democratic rival Barack Obama, and says that 47 percent of those surveyed viewed Palin negatively.

    It confirmed the findings of an ABC/Washington Post poll released earlier this month which found that six in 10 voters saw Palin, 44, as lacking the experience to be an effective president.

    “A third are now less likely to vote for McCain because of her,” the Post added.”

  11. Clarkehead

    Wow that was a genuine pile of horse shit. When are the porn screenwriters going on strike? I’ll mark my calendar.

  12. pete

    #6 – even wackjobs like you don’t bother to try to say anything positive about McCain. It’s exclusively negative campaigning these days on the Republican side. Meanwhile the entire country wishes it was Nov. 5 already so that McCain could move on to his next task – trying to restore his reputation before he retires – and all of us could be rid of the mix of McCarthyism and KKK that’s become the McCain/Palin campaign.

  13. Jackson

    From what I’ve seen of the real Sarah Palin, she has big fat ugly knees and her body would be nothing without a girdle.

  14. Clarkehead

    Wow, it’s getting a little too serious in here. More dick jokes please. :-)

  15. Sport

    Obama supporters are whiners. Negative campaigning? What about your parties mouthpiece, CNN?

    Fuck off troll.

  16. BigJim

    It’s a good thing the real Palin doesn’t have a rack like that or the Republicans might actually stand a chance of winning the election.

  17. mamadough

    lol that was great. but of course, real russians would have just pointed a gun to her head and then raped the shit out of her, using her tears as lube. did any of you ever watch porn so old that the vibrator had to be plugged into the wall? they had to film it within a three foot radius of the wall? funny, funny, shit.

  18. sore Sport

    #15 – wa wa waaaaaaah!

    Don’t worry, pussy, it’ll all be over soon.

  19. Perfect casting! her moose is loose just like the real Sarah…

  20. Bene

    they forgot to render the background instead of greenscreen

  21. Solo

    Hardcore excerpts have already hit the net. While I’m a bit disappointed with the character of the second Russian–I don’t get a real feel for his inner self–I have jerked off twice and am just waiting to reload.

  22. Lisa Ann does a nice job as Palin. Looks like this can be a winner.

  23. Megan

    That woman is terribly unattractive.

  24. David Canner

    I don’t know why you Right Wingers are being such sore losers.

    If Obama is a muslim, like you think he is, and if he’s not a real american, then you should be happy, because he will bring Islamic fundamentalism to our country, which isn’t all that different from Christian fundamentalism in that it is completely irrational, against sex and promiscuity, against abortion, highly patriarchal, for family values.

    So what’s your problem?

    Ah, the problem is this: Right Wingers aren’t Christians, and the aren’t Americans either.

    They’re Neo-Nazis, and that’s what they’ve always been.

    Problem is that you Right Wing Neo Nazis are so dumb, so slow on the uptake, that it has taken you about one decade too long to get your foot in the door.

    So sorry, too late, Obama is going to be President.

    Your leader is going to be a black man. Hah! That’s pretty funny is you ask me.

  25. Eddy

    I think this is the most awkward thing I have ever seen.

  26. Deacon Jones

    God, if everyone had this bitch as a secretary, there’d be “a whole lotta throat fucking goin on!” (obscure movie musical reference)

  27. #17 haha, no, but I’m picturing it!!

  28. Andy

    Too bad the real Palin is getting $150k of clothes instead of getting naked.

    Wait…she acts all cutesy and catches an elderly gentleman’s eye and he buys her lots of expensive stuff. McCain you dirty old sugardaddy! That’s a lot of money. You better be getting some serious Palin tonsil action on Mr. Shrivels.

  29. DaveD

    I can’t believe they chose Lisa Ann! There are so many porn stars that look more like Sarah Palin — Austin Kincaid comes to mind first. Lisa Ann has been around the block (and tanning booth) too much — even for a porn star.

  30. Big Al

    She doesn’t even look like Palin. She’s got fake boobs and looks trampy. I’d take the real one any day!!

  31. Big Al

    She doesn’t even look like Palin. She’s got fake boobs and looks trampy. I’d take the real one any day!!

  32. Leo

    Bottom caption reads, “This is a Parody” – priceless on so many levels

  33. she belongs back on the pole

  34. We are faced with some tough choices. The Black Messiah… a broken down, weird looking troll paired up with a MILF beauty queen who looks like her next step is a hustler photo shoot and still talks with the confusion and cadence of a fourteen year old girl. it’s really time to just check out completely and let the country implode. why kid yourselves? lay on a beach somewhere nice, get a job doing something online and spend your time browsing free porn instead of kidding yourself into believing that one incompetent self serving narcissistic weirdo is better than the other.

  35. BigJim

    I’d much rather fuck the porn slut than the real Palin if for no other reason that the real Palin’s cooter is bigger than the grand canyon. The bitch has calved FIVE TIMES! Tell me that didn’t stretch things out.

    Hell, her snatch might be stretched as wide as McCain’s bunghole after the seven years of NVA prison guard gang raping he got.

    That’s the real reason McCain turned down early release: he started to like the guards running train on him.

  36. Tad

    I can’t wait for the gay porno featuring BaRock and Biden Bendover…

  37. sam

    Does anyone else think she is gross?

  38. Tad

    I visit this site for mild entertainment when all else fails, but its really too bad that (mostly) Obama supporters are the crudest, ugliest, most mean spirited posters this side of the DailKOS… I mean isn’t Obama supposed to bring us all together? With these kind of supporters? Belittling the opposition seems to have become the calling card of those of the Left. Good luck with that.

    But as Thomas Jefferson said “Dissent is the highest for of Patriotism”. Oh wait. That’s a lie. He never said that. In 2003 [historian] Howard Zinn said it in an interview with to justify his opposition to the War on Terror. Who cares? It supports your position and even lying about Founding Fathers won’t stop you. Now, attack away. I can’t wait to be dumbfounded by the eloquence and enlightenment of your replies.

  39. Tony

    I would not want a heartless bitch for VP. She made rape victims in Alaska pay for their own rape kits that cost around $1000! She kills animals for the fun of it. She has no quality educational background. She majored in communications for goodness sakes whereas Biden majored in Political Science, Government, and Law. Palin did not even give an accurate description of the VP duties.

  40. Tad

    To correct myself, the quote appears to go all the way to 1991 when it was uttered by the newly elected president of the ACLU.

  41. BMurphy72

    BigJim, has no one evergiven you a hug? I’m not happy with either party, but you sound like a never ending douche………..

    BNow go make friend, hold hands, and sing cume by ya…………..

  42. cleancutamerican

    Let us see some pics of monkey face Michelle Obama in the same poses. Of course that would never work. Michelle looks like a football player in drag and big boobs on her would be ridiculous to the point of nausea. Not only is michelle not hot, but she is not even warm.

  43. Keeping it Real


    Michele is not running for VP and she is better educated than Palin. Actually Michele is more qualified to run for VP than Palin. Michele is also a humanitarian whereas Palin is a heartless bitch.

  44. yawn

    #38 – yes, it’s definitely the Obama rallies that feature supporters yelling out things like “kill him!” in reference to McCain. We had it all backwards. Thanks for the correction.

  45. caljenna66

    Wow, this movie’s gonna make a butt-load of money…

    LOL @ calling the Kremlin because you crashed your tank into a pipeline. Gotta love the porno way of setting up a scene…

  46. cleancutamerican

    To Yawn: You must have been sleeping the last week, hence the Yawn. No one yelled “kill him” at a McCain/Palin rally. That was the imagination of a Obama aid who made that assertion to harm the republicans and give something for the obama campaign to cry about.

    To Keeping it Real: Michelle might as well be running for president. As in the Clinton era, we will get two socialists/communists for the price of one, and the price will be hefty. Regarding the education of both women, do you really think having 2 degrees, which were government subsidized, makes Michelle smarter??? You need help.

  47. rustingrabbit

    “Michele is also a humanitarian whereas Palin is a heartless bitch. ”

    That comment made me laugh so f-ing hard. *wipes tear* Thank you.

  48. HAHA

    To cleandoucheamerican: keep rinsing.

  49. HAHA

    And to #6 Obama will lose to Palin:

    If you believe Obama’s certificate is fake, close your eyes and open your mouth. cleandoucheamerican has some refreshments for you.

  50. BigJim

    What’s the difference between Sarah Palin’s mouth and her vagina?

    Answer: Not everything that comes out of her vagina is retarded.

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