Sarah Palin quit her job

July 6th, 2009 // 117 Comments

In an awkward and rushed press conference, Sarah Palin resigned her position as governor of Alaska on Friday which left many people, including those in her own party, scratching their heads. Was there a corruption scandal about to break? An affair? Or was she just positioning herself to run for president in 2012? All solid theories, but allow me to float one out there that might make sense of all this: She’s a fucking idiot.

To further prove my point, kudos to the governor for threatening to sue the press for doing their job on the Fourth of July. Apparently there wasn’t an American flag handy to shit on, so why not go with the next best thing?

Scope Out “Sarah Palin’s” NSFW Hustler Promo Shots

Photos: WENN

  1. wade


  2. dogface

    You can go fuck yourself with comments like that. She’d have you skinned and quartered before you knew anything was wrong…. heh, heh….. and I like that thought…..

  3. All Politicians are Pawns

    Apparantly the fucking idiot thougt for a second that she was the one dictating her moves on Brzinski’s chessboard?
    The Republican party is dead and the dems are morons as well. Renounce both parties and let’s come up with a brand new one. NO POLITICIANS. Only people nominated by the people for the people!

  4. £it

    Would be better if that was the Union Jack, and, Kelly Brook. American political and porn whore(s)!

  5. Yoda

    She’s a stupid fucking cunt…..her 15 minutes are up.

  6. dude

    Scratching their hands?

  7. enough


    Your liberal roots are showing again. No one wants to hear it.

  8. sges

    This doesn’t sound like the regular Superficial writer – who never crosses the line form funny to angry/totally crass.
    Don’t get me wrong, I hate Palin, but I don’t come here for political anger. I come for bipartisan funnies. Bring the old guy back, plz.

  9. JAck Ingoffski

    This morning my shit had loads of corn in it………strange thing is I haven’t had corn in months. Heading over to see my physician this afternoon. Wish me luck.

  10. Captain Spellcheck!


    Not their.

    Quote: Was their a corruption scandal about to break?


  11. Dude


    -noun 1. Law. a. defamation by written or printed words, pictures, or in any form other than by spoken words or gestures.
    b. the act or crime of publishing it.
    c. a formal written declaration or statement, as one containing the allegations of a plaintiff or the grounds of a charge.

    2. anything that is defamatory or that maliciously or damagingly misrepresents.


    -noun 1. defamation; calumny: rumors full of slander.
    2. a malicious, false, and defamatory statement or report: a slander against his good name.
    3. Law. defamation by oral utterance rather than by writing, pictures, etc.

    Hey editor, if you’re going to get into politics, why don’t you leave your Roveian style half-truth bullshit at the door you fucking imbecile.

  12. Sarah Palin is a disgusting women, a true scank.

  13. Lily is a Douchbag


    I hate to suprise you this morning but Michael Jackson is dead, so I doubt he’ll be responding to any e-mail messages.

    As to Sarah Palin, I suspect she’s got a master scheme since she’s a maverick – it will be fun to watch.

  14. Lisa

    she is so beautiful………….

  15. Darth

    Is it just me or did she lose some weight?

  16. Randal

    This is a step in the whatever direction for you Sarah, so congratulations on getting closer to whatever it happens to be. You inspired many people with your speeches on whatever and united the right kind of whatever people to stand behind you, although for the most part, it was hard to understand whatever they were saying in Ohio.


  17. Shes a GILF…you mention Sarah Palin i visualize her, in her short shorts reading the paper…

  18. Felix

    I agree with #8. A truly tallented satirical writer can point out the absurdity in things in an amusing way without resorting to name calling. Which is pretty much what a 2 year old would do. So why don’t you go back to posting pictures of celebrity boobs, the real reason anybody veiws this site, and leave the political satire to the more capable adults.

  19. Russ

    I saw the porno this Palin was in …funny as hell……she kept yelling Drill Baby! DRILL! as she was gettin’ it.

  20. stars and stripes

    Palin was and is the best thing to happen to the Dems. Hope she sticks around………….makes me feel like a genius.

  21. Whoah

    Angry website blogger is angry! You come off much better when you talk about celebrities in Hollywood rather than Washington (et al). Just a protip.

  22. missywissy

    Wow, even Randal was cracking at saying something nice. Whatever..

    Maybe they finally have hard proof Trig is Bristol’s not Sarah’s. (Bristol missed the last 5 months of school during the pregnancy, Palin was in Texas the eve she gave birth to Trig in Alaska, nobody on Palin’s staff knew she was pregnant and said she never looked like she was carrying, etc)

    How does quitting gov. prepare one for president? I’d never vote for a quitter. She’s got to spend the next three years memorizing lines like “Joe six-pack” “Can I call you Joe?” and all those other one liners she pulled in the debates. Jeez, I hope America doesn’t fall for it. My other theory is she was offered a talk show. I wonder if somebody is blackmailing her, and if they are THANK YOU! BuBye Sarah Baracuda.

  23. Joe Melnick

    Hey, let’s turn to the libtard media for an analysis of someone they hate with a passion they never showed for the terrorists who attacked on 9/11. The only enemies they see are conservatives, and the vitriol reserved for Palin is especially unhinged. She was the VP on the ticket yet they scrutinized her 100 times more thoroughly and viciously than the guy running for president. We heard more about Trig Palin than about Tony Rezko or Bill Ayers, for god’s sake.

    Hillary quit as senator to run for president, after promising she was going to serve her full term. Obama spent half his senate term running for president, then quit before he was done.

    15 ethics complaints that she had to pay to defend, all 15 dismissed. They were bankrupting her with harassing lawsuits and false claims, while the media was dissecting her family as tabloid fodder. Who needs that? She should use her celebrity to cash some big checks and get ready for a run at whatever office she wants. She is hugely popular outside the effete liberal elite in the media and on the coasts. That must be why the left is so determined to destroy her.

    Just check this board or any other Palin feedback for a good example of the progressive liberal opinion of conservative women. It’s not pretty.

  24. All Politicians are Pawns

    You Dude, why are you here? For honest informative news or demented derailing bullshit? I hope the latter cuz you aint getting the former, stupid.
    Allow me to libel and slander your Republican hero for me: She’s a corrupt, ignorant whore who was incapable of answering the most rudimentary questions posed to her by a mere news journalist. This proved beyond the shadown of a doubt that she was in the same mold as Reagan, Dubya, and McCain – long on bullshit and short on intelligence.

    You are done for at least another 7 and a half years. Not that it matters essentially. There will be plenty war for you Neocon types! Obama, Bush, whatever they are all doing what they are told and you better open up a few books, you ignorant children. We are all being duped. Sorry, but it is most likely far far too late to do anything about it. You will see the American way of life will be about more government, more military expenditures to support the military bases around the world that guard all the factories where the rich are stealing from the poor nations. more police action, less freedom, more handsome lawyers finding ways to take our monies (hahaahahahah) in courts.

    Don’t decieve yourselves. This has all been planned behind closed doors within eyesight but not in our realm of vision. These organisations all have names too. Get ya some learnin’ and you too might have a clue!

    Go Sarah! Thief! Whore! She is the Queen of Superficiality.

  25. Grammar Nazi


    Homonyms our hard.

  26. Ted Tedlinson

    Missy, you are so full of shit it’s amazing. Most of what is said about Palin is 100% bullshit, as your post shows. You voted for Obama who was a quitter (except for smoking, he just lied about quitting that). She wasn’t showing? Bullshit again, or back it up with a link. Fucking idiot.

    Now she can visit all 57 states like Obama and be ready for next time.

  27. Uncle Sam

    -looks like the rightards have their panties in a bunch about Palin – guess we know where all of the racist comments on here come from now..hehehe

  28. Joe Melnick

    Sam, look above you, the negative comments about Palin being a whore etc are exclusively coming from the left.

  29. Johnson

    Liberal or Conservative ..politics aside… whomever is writing this column is a complete DICKHEAD for always making references to shitting on the flag..

    SHIT ON SUPERFISCIAL.. suck my dick motherfucker.

  30. jumpin_j

    1) First off, Phish, how about a disclaimer that the photo is obviously NOT Sarah Palin. This is porn star Lisa Ann as Sarah “Who’s Nalin Palin” fame. Fair is fair.

    2) Run Sarah Run. Show America for the hypocrite you are! Promote abstinence while you’re daughter has unprotected sex! Tell us about responsible government in the middle of an ethics probe for graft with sweetheart construction jobs! Share your womanhood how rape victims have to pay for their own rape kits! Refuse federal money while you build your Bridge To Nowhere! This is America’s future!

    Palin / Sanford 2012!!!

  31. Mike

    Regardless of what side you stand on, you owe it to yourself to read the 5000 Year Leap.


  32. joho777

    You have to kind of feel sorry for the rightwing loonies. They are left trying to breath life into the Repub party with only out-and-out freaks like Sarah Palin to work with.

    The right wing is screwed. Well, they will have to come up with someone as their standard bearer in the next two years.

    I hope it’s better than McCain/Palin which were really lame. Maybe Ann Coulter??

    Duh. Do ya’ think there is a major corruption scandal ready to blow in Alaska?? What else would make Palin duck and run for cover?

  33. The Edit

    She doesn’t desire to be a lame duck … so she dumps the role on Sean Parnell instead. Whatever. Who cares…

    BTW, didn’t think it was necessary to point out but…leaving a current office to upgrade to another position, especially a higher post is common practice. Palin would’ve left her governor post (too) to be vice-president if her and McCain had won.

    Do any of you “Obama/Hillary” left early to be…” whiners actually understand that concept. Probably not. Unless it works to support just *your* position.

  34. Mike

    And #30, the bridge to nowhere was voted on a year before she was elected. I appreciate your willingless to remain clueless.

  35. nilapharasdekcufI

    palin not working for the public is the best thing she can do for the public.

  36. The Edit

    … oh, yeah, Unlike Obama, Hillary, and the others who were offered cabinet and other high-level government positions (those dastardly “quitters”), Palin *DIDN’T* get elected to another office. Did she? So yeah, she quit.

  37. gho

    I guess libel is supposed to be legal?

    I understand that this website is very tongue-in-cheek and prints all kinds of bogus bullshit.

    But if anything approximating a respectable publication (sorry!) prints patently untrue and defamatory allegations or stories, they can be sued for libel.

    But way to pretend like you understand the legal system, dude. Opinions > facts anyday, right?

  38. Dread not

    Hmmm…. let’s see, stay in office as a lame duck Gov., have all media types taking pot shots at her husband, herself and her kids, while not being able to adequately address them, face down accusations of ethics violations that require ungodly sums of money to fend off?

    Or, get a television news/talk show, be on the cover of magazines, and get paid to travel around the lower 48 and get paid lots of money on the lecture circuit, while staying famous by being lampooned on the national stage? Wow, that’s a toughy.

    Who the hell cares?! As long as Sarah Palin ends up in a skin mag where she has the mandatory pics; of her on all fours with ass up, leaning against something pooching out her ass, one with her tits cupped in offering to the camera, and laying on a bed with a “come and get it” stare.

  39. Joe

    Seriously, can you guys even read? Obama and Clinton both quit their jobs early to run for president. Happens all the time. And Edit, Obama and Clinton weren’t offered other jobs before they quit, they quit first then ran for president. Moron. Obama spent 21 months as a senator outside DC running for president, so he wasn’t even doing his job before he quit.

    And why not just disagree with her and vote for the opposition, rather than call her a cunt, whore, bitch, retard etc. Grow the fuck up.

  40. Deacon Jones

    @ #24 – Well said!

    Talk about being a “role model for women” Way to go Sarah.

    And I wouldnt say the Republican party is totally screwed. At least they’re starting to have straight sex scandals again….

  41. Josey Wales

    I love it, Palin does her own thing! She won’t follow the Washington fatasses. Drive’s em crazy! What a list of schucks: Obama, Biden, Gore, Clintons, Kerry, Edwards, Kennedy. What’s wrong with our politicians?

  42. what

    scratching their hands? Scratching their heads? i didn’t know one would scratch their hand in disbelief….

  43. Can field dress a moose but can’t take the heat in the kitchen.

    I swear… the Fish is the awesomest place to discuss politics… I’m just praying for a sex tape.

  44. Pablo

    Hey, it’s nice to see Perez Hilton guest blogging. Are you defending your First Amendment rights in Toronto again, Mario?

  45. Pablo

    Then there was Joe Biden, running for President then VP at the same time he was running for reelection as Senator. That’s what integrity looks like, bitches.

  46. Pablo

    “She doesn’t desire to be a lame duck … so she dumps the role on Sean Parnell instead.”

    Parnell is running next year. He won’t be a lame duck.

  47. Pablo

    “Tell us about responsible government in the middle of an ethics probe for graft with sweetheart construction jobs!”

    The FBI says there is no such probe. Figure out who told you that and never listen to them again.

  48. Pablo… give up on her… you’re obviously a huge fan, but she’s given up on her state and on you. Go stalk Newt.

  49. whattheshit

    Sucks. I was kind of hoping somebody would assassinate her… from a helicopter.

  50. JD

    Obama and Clinton did not quit their jobs. Sarah Palin cannot handle being a Governor. Palin should have followed the Republicans advise by keeping a low profile, understand policies, and the constitution while being Governor. Palin only has a 20 percent following like Rush, so there is no way Palin will become president in 2010. Even the BBC said Palin gave a rambling speech. Palin is a big joke and she can have her little 20 percent fans.

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