Sarah Palin not falling off face of the earth, pursued by talent agencies (Damn.)

November 9th, 2008 // 125 Comments

Remember this lady? Surprise! She’s sticking around. Sarah Palin is being actively pursued by top talent agencies such as CAA, ICM, William Morris and Paradigm. All of them are looking to make her the “White Oprah” complete with book deal by the end of November. Here’s what top professionals in the field told Page Six:

“There are several of our imprints who are eager to talk to Governor Palin,” Random House spokesman Stuart Applebaum said. “She clearly has a constituency and we know books by conservatively-centered politicos usually sell very, very well.”
Public-relations powerhouse Howard Rubenstein added, “She’s poised to make a ton of money.” But he warned, “She ought to keep an eye on what her goals are for 2012. If she plays a game and looks foolish, if she sounds like she doesn’t know what she’s talking about – like saying Africa is a country – she may talk herself out of a political job.”
Linda Mann, president of Mann Media, which books celebrities and fashionistas for TV, noted, “Her buzz is incredible. She has car-wreck appeal. You’re compelled to watch, hoping she’ll say the dumbest things possible. I’d propose a show combining her love of fashion and lack of brainpower – ‘Project Dumbway.’ “

Personally, I don’t care if they give Sarah Palin her own channel and line of collectible figurines. Just as long as she’s nowhere near the nucular codes and I have to watch a press conference where “Cross my heart, I’m just your regular Joe Six-Pack who thought Italy was a moose when I fired those doggone missiles. Am I sorry? You betcha. In the meantime, if I start winking it’s not because I’m being folksy, I think the CIA poisoned my latte.”

Photos: Splash News

  1. no one?

    first? no one? :) nobody gives a shit

  2. Fish Moron

    Sarah Palin is a great American. Oh, and she’s milftastic.

    Now watch all the liberal hatred curse this post.

  3. MAC

    YES!!! America loves Palin!
    (america-haters don’t)

  4. HUH???

    What makes this chick a great American? She’s no more a great American that anyone else who loves this country. One thing she’s not, is qualified to lead this country in any capacity whatsoever. She’s really not that bright. And that’s the last thing this country needs, another moron Republican leader.

    And had everyone forgot she’s Pentecostal?

  5. sher

    a book deal?

  6. Miss Kitty

    Dude, she’ll be doing porn by Christmas ffs

  7. Im not going to hate on Palin. I just wanted to mention that I think this will be a much better fit for her. She seems more like the talk show type to me.

  8. Sueme's Buttplug (fell out)

    I will hate on you SueMe. This should have been the Vice President. White Americans would have been happy to have her lovely face to look forward to rather than Joe Biden’s. Of course, this country won’t be white much longer so go ahead and hoot and holler now like a monkey (well, ape).

  9. Richard McBeef

    Nobody cares. Unless it is a nip slip or upskirt nobody wants to hear anymore about this bitch.

  10. Whatever

    Yeah… it’s far better to have the nuclear codes in the hands of a pansy who will never use them… even if he should. Keep drinking that socialist kool-aid! I’m sure that Columbia and Harvard education does make him more qualified to convert a country to Socialism, though. Let’s see if the big ‘O’ can successfully kill the capitalist fundamentals that made this country great… that will be an excellent way to help the economy. Wake the f*** up!

  11. Richard McBeef

    #8,10 and several others:. You cock smoking douchefuckers seriously need to kill yourselves. Go find somewhere else to accommodate your political circle jerk. We only want to read comments about her ass/tits or whether you would or not.

  12. America is Socialist Already Morons

    #10 What part of the USA giving money to the rich and to corporations and evil thieving financial institutions is not socialism for the rich.
    Normal decent countries do this for the poor. However this country has been ruled by an evil race for the last 8 years.
    Go back to sleep inbred!

  13. Shadix

    The “White Oprah” {laughs} Palin couldn’t hope to ever achieve a mindset as objective or intelligent as Oprah if we gave her access to the fountain of youth. She’s a cheerleader figurehead for the NeoCon thinktank. Let CNN have her, long as her theology’s off my biology I don’t care what she’s up to.

    P.S. You “Obama = Socialist” subscribers are so fucking cute it makes my head spin. Socialists don’t think he’s a socialist, McCain doesn’t think he’s a socialist, and yet you all talk about socialist KoolAid because we “can’t spread the wealth around in a capitalist economy.” I’d agree with you on a normal day in 1995, but it’s 2008 and I must ask of you: “uh – WHAT fucking wealth?” Let’s just back up a bit and work our way back to BEING a great country before we whine about unconventional ways to avoid falling from the top. It’s a looong fucking fall and I’d rather trade our failing standards than the freedom we have left while the ship is sinking.

  14. Lynn

    I don’t care about that woman.

    But Obama the American dream??? ha-ha
    If he was a trully ghetto black man then I would say YES. But look at him, just another millionaire with power, just like all the $enate. $$$$$$$$ What CHANGE is that???? The change he has in his pocket!!!!

  15. 1984

    She’s a great American if one embraces mediocrity.

  16. Peak Oil

    many millions will starve because the oil is running dry at and accelerated pace now. Sorry

  17. bo babbyo

    “Sarah Palin is a great American. Oh, and she’s milftastic.
    Now watch all the liberal hatred curse this post.”

    Well, I’m decidedly left of center, and while I’ll probably never go so far as to VOTE for her, I’m real interested in seeing what happens with the milftastic Ms. Palin.

    AT THIS POINT she’s not well educated or well informed, but she’s no dummy, and she’ll probably learn what she has to pretty fast. She’s got poise and presence, and she can connect with an audience. She was also accurate in pointing out that, of the four Prez and Veep offerings in 2008, she was the only one with experience in the executive branch. Super successful political careers have been built on much, much, MUCH less.

    And besides, the skill-set of a beauty-pageant veteran is probably far better suited to the modern political arena than that of a lawyer, a business person, a soldier, or an athlete.

    Like I say, If I ever get the chance to vote for her again, I still probably won’t, but credit where it’s due.

  18. that one

    Hey Superficial guy. See if you can find where you put the apostrophe in you’re when it didn’t belong there. Muahhahaha.. now feel forever owned.

  19. Amy

    ‘Nucular’? “Nucular”?????!! Dear Superficial Writer, I think you’re absolutely hilarious and you keep me laughing on a daily basis. But please PLEASE learn the right way to spell and pronounce NUCLEAR. I would never want to think of you in the same context as the brain-dead fool in the white house right now. Thanks!

  20. It’s moments like this that make me ashamed to be an American.

  21. Confused

    The real surprise of the 2008 election was discovering the number of racist white neocon males who read celebrity gossip.

  22. Simp

    Um, MAC?

    The world computers function in the binary. Not people. Drop the “american-haters” claptrap. It simply makes you look silly.

  23. Sandi

    #8 – you racist pig. You are the problem with America.

  24. camparito

    hahaha great

  25. gilfhunter

    oprah, the corporate whore she is, at least knows her role and tries to do a few decent things. palin thinks being stupid, mean, and venal are virtues.

  26. mmm

    i kinda like her

  27. joey

    I love when conservatives create fake paradigms like “If you hate Sarah Palin, you hate America!” Fine, I can do that too: If you fail to realize that SP is a vapid, lying douchenozzle, then you drink goat jizzum. Oh wait, you rednecks probably really do that anyway.

  28. 1984

    About “Nucular”. Its spelled like that as a JOKE, referring to Bush’s way of saying ithe word as well as from what I’ve heard also Sarah Palin’s.

  29. DT

    This is why we hate america.

  30. boo

    Wait a minute, if she becomes a big celebrity, does that mean she can’t express her political views? Coz I’m OK with that.

  31. jonny monstikio

    #13 shadix
    You are an ignorant dummy. I have plenty of wealth and I want to keep it. I don’t want to give it to fools like you. Get a job, loser. Obama is a Socialist. He spent his years at Columbia going to Socialist meetings at Cooper Union (read his biography), he belonged to the New Party (Socialist) and he admits he wants to take money from people who earn it (me), and give it to losers who don’t (you). It’s amazing how much you suck.

  32. hmm

    #19 Amy–go shoot yourself, dumbass.

    #21 confused–amen! who knew??

  33. Jonny monstikio

    #27 joey
    Sarah Palin is smarter and has contributed more to this country than you if you lived for a thousand years. You suck and this country would be better off without you in it. Now go suck off your dad again.

  34. Jie

    I want to see her crying again like she did on Nov 4.

  35. Balls McCoy

    You hate and discredit those of which you fear.

    It’s the liberal playbook:

    The liberals have challenged the intelligence of Bush yet he’s smart enough to rig the outcome of two presidential elections, mastermind the terror attacks of 9/11, hoodwink the demoncrats in the House and Senate to vote in favor of military action with “false documents” and create so-called environmental disasters across the globe. Amazing how someone so dumb can get one over on the democrats time after time.

    As were the people of Florida, who in 2000, couldn’t figure out how to punch holes in a ballot, or count them for that matter. And those po’ black folks down in New Orleans, theys too stupid to account for themselves when theres a trouble a brewin’, it ain’t their fault, it’s the evil republicans and FEMA well ain’t it?

    So surely Sarah Palin isn’t intelligent, why she’s just another stupid mom that doesn’t matter in the eyes of the elitist liberals except of course until the next election cycle rolls around and we hear things like “women’s rights and breaking the glass ceiling” oh except for you Sarah, we don’t want you reminding us what a real American looks like.

    But remember, American’s are just dummies. You know, the ones that can’t do for themselves and need the government having say in every little bit of their lives…hey you…put down that cigarette! hey you, turn off that light and save energy…hey you, better get that digital cable box converter because you can’t not have cable anymore…hey you doctor, you’ll be arrested if you don’t abort that fetus…hey you radio exec, your station will lose it’s fcc license if we don’t hear a show with a liberal point of view…hey you backwoods man, who lives 10 miles from the sheriff’s office, you can’t have that weapon to protect yourself when in immediate harm…hey you…kindergartner, lets read a story about two mommies and no daddies….hey you white collar man…you work until you’re finished with whatever you’re doing but don’t you think you’re going to earn anymore than that 8-hour blue collar shlub….hey you mom and dad, your daughter is 13 and has the right to protect her privacy from letting you know she “got rid of the consequences”, we’ll make sure she gets the tax-funded condoms next time around…hey you internet genius….if you read this much and are ready to comment in counter point, fuck you. The democrats have done more to affect my life 100x more than the republicans.

    I’m 35 and the government won’t let me smoke a butt, eat fatty foods, buy myself a case of beer, drive my car or throw out my god damn garbage without having a fucking say in how it’s done. You voted for Obama not me. And he is going fuck up this country and make us weaker than Clinton on his worst day.

  36. ...

    Hey you rape victim, pay for your own rape kit.

  37. samm23

    @ 35 Balls McCoy

    WTF?! …. WTF?! with all the NOVEL sh*t ?!!! …jeez, go out.. breath fresh air..

  38. verga

    dumbest bitch ever

  39. jack

    obama is a socialist ! & i voted for mccain & palin for two reasons,

    1) i like tits & mccain & palin both have them .
    2) all the bible thumpers told me i would go to hell & not be american if i decided otherwise.

    & i also found it funny that my car would not start the day after obama was elected, i think he drained the battery in my car!

  40. Give her a naked court show on cable!!! thats it or go back to obscurity….

  41. Balls McCoy

    hey samm, try reading it asswipe. hey … your rape kit scenario is totally pointless. it’s just another ridiculous claim from a liberal moron that actually believes the propaganda, nothing I wrote can be considered a fabrication of what actually IS happening.

  42. Just what America needs, a dunderheaded liar with a tremendous mean streak and an overwhelming sense of entitlement.

    Couldn’t we at least experiment ONCE with the idea of not celebrating the worst of humanity?

  43. Thanks #23/Sarah for saying that. This guy has been rediculous, and has been stalking me calling me racial names and stuff. Anyhow present day racists are hilarious, and they are the true minority today.

  44. Leppy

    She even has a website

  45. dairydog

    I thought her 15 minutes were over?

  46. Holy shit Douchie! This Balls McCoy guy is vying for your center stall in the minneapolis airport men’s room. With this guy around you might just, how did you put it, fade into obscurity…

    Balls, why do you hate this country so much?

  47. janey

    #35… I agree…. and um, yeah, the government is trying to stop me having a termination….they’re always trying to tell me how to live my life, tellling me what I can and can’t do with my own body. Who the hell do they think they are??/ I’m with you!

  48. janey

    #35… I agree…. and um, yeah, the government is trying to stop me having a termination….they’re always trying to tell me how to live my life, tellling me what I can and can’t do with my own body. Who the hell do they think they are??/ I’m with you!

  49. Dorito Man

    I like her. She’s quite a specimen.

  50. langdon

    she will be first voted off of dancing with the stars next season.

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