Sarah Palin fraternizes with liberal comedians (Jesus is gonna be pissed!)

October 19th, 2008 // 93 Comments

Sarah Palin made her highly-publicized Saturday Night Live appearance and, honestly, didn’t do a whole lot. I expected some pizazz, you know? She’s the fucking Ron Burgundy of politics. C’mon! If it’s in front of her, she’ll say it in that folksy voice of hers that makes you wonder how long Alaska’s been a town in Wisconsin. Instead, what do we get? Sarah Palin standing around while Alec Baldwin pretends to think she’s Tina Fey. LAME. Okay, maybe, I’m overreacting a bit because I was convinced Sarah and Tina were going to make-out in Stars N’ Stripes bikinis. Such imagery would’ve brought our divided nation together towards a common goal. I dunno what exactly that goal would be, but I guarantee there’d be nachos and strippers there. Ooh, and mini golf. Who doesn’t love that shit? (Hint: Terrorists.)

Bonus Mark Wahlberg Cameo Video OMG

superficial

  1. ali

    @ 40/The People

    fuck yes. someone finally gets it. kudos to you good sir(or madam).

  2. CaptainMorgan

    IF Palin did the rap on the Weekend Update, THAT would have been Epic. Weak publicity stunt. I can hear all the media chiming in: has time for SNL but won’t do any real interviews. Talk about killing your chances x100!

  3. Rant

    Sorry for repeats hit enter accidently.

    Latest CNN/ORC Poll of likely voters:
    Barack Obama: 51 percent
    John McCain: 46 percent

    If the Bradley effect of minus 5 to 8% is to calculated McCain could win.
    How the democrats are not leading with 80% of the voters is beyond me. I will shit my pants if McCain wins.

  4. Jones

    “The people that work and pay taxes will turn the economy in time, it has always been that way, and the government will just sit on its ass for a hand out, as usual floundering like fish out of water.”

    I’m sure lots of people will fall for that “working class hero” drivel, but please, give it a break. For the past two decades ordinary Americans have decided to live beyond their means, piling up huge amounts of credit, refusing to pay for basic infrastructure for the country (so roads crumble and bridges fall, electrical grids fail, etc.), buying trucks and SUVs in full knowledge that oil reserves are limited and largely out of our direct control, and refusing to turn off the TV and attend PTA meetings and push their kids to achieve at school. Now they’re all bellyaching about gas prices for the truck or SUV they drive as the sole occupant most of the time, foreclosures on the houses they couldn’t afford in the first place, loss of money in retirement funds they couldn’t be bothered to manage directly, and low test scores for their kids who do their homework in front of the TV.

    You know it’s true. All of it is behavior that reflects personal values and attitudes toward personal and family responsibilities, the type of thing that each person decides for himself or herself and acts accordingly. We are not children and we are not brainwashed, no matter how much people want to whine like that during tough times. We have the government we deserve, always.

    Now let’s see how long it takes for somebody to blame it on da libruls.

  5. There are going to be a lot of angry redneck white trash on Nov.5. Watch out people. They are going to be looking to kick some ass.

  6. Ang

    I don’t know why people keep invoking the Bradley Effect. If the election were being held 20 years ago in a Southern state, maybe it would show up. It has never generalized to other elections across the country, at least not in any type of robust way. Certainly the Republican voters are not going to tell pollsters that they’re voting for Obama because they feel social embarrassment to say otherwise. In the primaries, Democratic and Independent voters didn’t show the Bradley effect (except – possibly – in New Hampshire) even though the Hillary vs. Obama contest was perfectly suited for it: she was the older life-long white politician and he was the younger black guy with little experience and explicitly stating he was going to make major changes. There’s no basis to expect a bigger Bradley effect in the general election. But: for sure, exit polls tend to show the Bradley effect much more strongly, as people who feel their vote might be viewed as racist when interviewed (“I agree with the black guy’s politics but I voted for the white guy”) tend to lie to exit interviewers at the polls. I wouldn’t believe any of the early results based on exit polls.

  7. Anonymous

    Wow, some angry comments from some of you, because you know that McCain and Palin are going to get spanked in the election. The end is near for them and you’re fuming about it. I laugh in your general direction.

  8. wmiranda

    @55-
    Yes, I’m betting that the pit bulls will be unleashed that day. Keep your pepper spray close, Dems.

  9. Parker

    #48 I agree with you. McCain and Palin both are dumb as a box of rocks and willing to say or do anything to get elected. McCain has been around as long as dirt and hasn’t got anything to show for it besides an old war story. Does he think he was the only POW in Vietnam? At least Palin has a beauty queen title and a tight ass. Don’t worry, they’ll be stopped. Obama might not be the best candidate but he’s the only one who won’t go off the deep end and do something stupid. “Uh oh, the economy is tanking. Got to drop everything else and go to Washington and fix it. Been a senator for a hundred years so don’t know why I didn’t do something about this before. But I’m old so I forget things. What’s that? You don’t need me to help? Are you sure we can’t fix the economy over weekend? It’s just money isn’t it? My wife has a lot. I don’t even know how many houses we have. Ok, I already look like an idiot so I guess I’ll go to that debate afterall and pretend I didn’t pretend you needed my help.” The guy is borderline senile and phony as a three-dollar bill. He mocks Obama for wanting to tax net incomes over 250K and lower taxes for every other taxpayer. Like he thinks we’re idiots. Companies that net over 250K aren’t putting profits back into their companies, they’re putting profits into their pockets. His health plan is even dumber. Elect me and I’ll tax you on the part of your insurance that your company pays. I pay $15 a week for health insurance. My company pays the other 80%. McCain wants to lower taxes on big companies and make me pay taxes on my company’s $60 contribution (at 31% that’s 18.60 a week *52 weeks = my taxes go up almost $1000 a year) and at the same time he wants me to think he’s not insane. Sorry. He can piss up a stick for all I care. I can’t wait till he’s crying bitter tears when he loses. Him and that palin parrot of his can go back where they came from.

  10. I can see Russia

    Everything this lady says is comedic. http://www.palinaspresident.org

  11. friendlyfires

    1.) Palin – not funny
    2.) Fey – funny
    3.) Wahlberg – funny
    4.) Baldwin – extremely not funny
    5.) Michaels – a delightful stooge

  12. zizzy

    #14. Greatest political mind out there? Only if you’re replacing every other politician in the world with a bag of bricks. And an 85% percent approval rating means zero in a state with 626,932 people who are a majority of republicans. That’s like asking a handful off little kids if they like to watch Disney movies.
    Don’t fool yourself. She may be “qualified” in your eyes but she still has the mental capacity of a 8 year old.

  13. Iggy

    Boring. She just stood there in the opening and just sat there on the news segment. I’m starting to think she’s the type of beautiful woman who, if you’re lucky enough to finally get her into bed, just lies there, lights on but nobody home. I bet she and the “first dude” have only Republican-approved missionary style intercourse with no foreplay. It’s why they’re all so angry.

  14. Retardo the Great

    #8 – On the contrary, Palin’s political career has just begun. Everyone knows that McCain has about as much chance of getting elected President Of The U.S. as Kim Il Sung does. Palin on the other hand is going to ride this wave all the way to the Senate or the House as that will logically be her next stop.

    You think she likes it doggy-style?

  15. Beth

    “Palin on the other hand is going to ride this wave all the way to the Senate or the House as that will logically be her next stop.”

    Actually it’s not a great idea to step down from being a state Governor to being a Senator. It’s a huge step down to go from Governor to House Representative. But, she’ll never be on another national ticket (her speaking limitations are simply too great) so I’m guessing she’ll simply run for reelection as Governor. It suits her better, too. By all accounts, her personality is much better suited to the executive branch of government than the legislative branch. I’m guessing she’ll win reelection, then run in the Republican presidential primaries at some point, lose and withdraw fairly early on, then drop out of politics and run a successful business that cashes in on her image.

  16. Jim

    or maybe porn: “MILFs with Stuffed Ballot Boxes”

  17. Slut

    Ha #59 The people who are voting for Obama and have no idea why are the dumb ones….

    http://www.bpmdeejays.com/upload/hs_sal_in_Harlem_100108.mp3

  18. missywissy

    Why do people go on this lame show to give their personal ratings a boost? Palin was not funny. The gal that did the rap was funny. The opening sucked, makes me wonder if Alec Baldwin made it suck on purpose, because he really blew it.

    McCain could still win this if he dumped Palin, picked up Romney or Huckabee, and Donald Trump for his treasury. It’s not too late. Defending Palin and keeping her on the ticket is really sinking him. They should also find Obama’s drug dealer from back in the day and do many an interview with that person.

  19. YesandNo

    It appears that Palin sucks at almost everything. I think she’s the first political figure to appear on SNL and not increase her public appeal.

  20. YesandNo

    It appears that Palin sucks at everything. I think she’s the first political figure to appear on SNL and not increase her public appeal. Lame.

  21. missywissy

    For the record, McCain is too old and Obama freaks me out. I was in Santa Fe and was in a crowd to listen to Obama. I was “lucky” enough to be in the front of the crowd. When he got to me, he took my hand, looked at me and I told him “take care of our vets”. He looked at me, looked down and moved on. No “okay, or you bet I will” thumbs up, smile, NOTHING. It really gave me the creeps. Maybe he thought I said “fuck you” because that’s about the reaction I got . Couldn’t help but to get caught up in his speech though. Mesmerizing.

    All the worshippers will get pissed at me for telling my story, and you can bash me all you want. I know nobody is allowed to speak against Obama without being called a redneck or racist or conservative. I just hope that if Obama gets in there, he’s what everybody dreams of. Let’s all hope if McCain gets in there, somehow Palin gets replaced.

  22. Susan

    Given how rash and impulsive and “hey lookit what mavericky-me just did!” McCain is, and given his VP choice, we just can’t put the country’s finances and economy in his hands. Besides, McCain feels like he lost everything in Vietnam and he doesn’t give a shit if you lose everything now. Nobody spends 5 years as a tortured prisoner (and at least 2 years of solitary confinement) and doesn’t develop PTSD. People complain that we can’t bring up race in relation to Obama, but we also can’t bring up the obvious about McCain: all people – all of them – are permanently altered by the kind of trauma he underwent, and they all show anger, irritability, distrust, and a distorted sense of “fairness” in the world (they would say we have the distortion, and they see the evil world as it really is).

    McCain would be one thing, without question: President Payback.

    And if it caused hardship for anybody, he’d be thinking “shut the fuck up, what you’re going through is nothing compared to what I went through for my country.” It’s laughable that people talk about Obama “handing the country over to terrorists” or “making America a socialist country”, as if any president had even 1/100th the power needed to do things like that. But they CAN do one thing: start military conflicts. I figure McCain is good for at least one more major conflict (probably along the Iraq/Iran border, once somebody shows him what the borders of Iraq are), a handful of additional lesser conflicts, and two or three standoffs with nuclear countries (starting with Korea). And of course, a complete inability to restrain his ADD/impulsivity/dementia so that we can finally follow through and complete the job in the real #1 front in the war on Al-Qaeda: Afghanistan/Pakistan (yes, we have to ignore the border when necessary).

  23. campaign watcher

    I heard that Bush is announcing today that he is endorsing Obama too. what’s the deal with the republicans loving Obama? Bush is bad news, man!

  24. campaign watcher

    Obama is a salesman. nothing more, nothing less. he’s good at selling bullshit and raising money and his ‘tax’ implications will absolutely break this country which is already verging on collapse. Welcome to freaking socialism, people.

    If you really think your Black Jesus is the ‘answer’ you are in for the most expensive mistake of your life. Please please pay attention to what you are doing. you are f ucking with some very volatile consequences. and I’m not talking about becoming the laughing stock of the free world, we’re beyond that, we’re already that – this is about the collapse of the free trade system. it will be the finality of it all.

  25. campaign watcher

    Obama is a salesman. nothing more, nothing less. he’s good at selling bullshit and raising money and his ‘tax’ implications will absolutely break this country which is already verging on collapse. Welcome to freaking socialism, people.

    If you really think your Black Jesus is the ‘answer’ you are in for the most expensive mistake of your life. Please please pay attention to what you are doing. you are f ucking with some very volatile consequences. and I’m not talking about becoming the laughing stock of the free world, we’re beyond that, we’re already that – this is about the collapse of the free trade system. it will be the finality of it all.

  26. campaign watcher

    Obama is a salesman. nothing more, nothing less. he’s good at selling bullshit and raising money and his ‘tax’ implications will absolutely break this country which is already verging on collapse. Welcome to freaking socialism, people.

    If you really think your Black Jesus is the ‘answer’ you are in for the most expensive mistake of your life. Please please pay attention to what you are doing. you are f ucking with some very volatile consequences. and I’m not talking about becoming the laughing stock of the free world, we’re beyond that, we’re already that – this is about the collapse of the free trade system. it will be the finality of it all.

  27. Sam

    “it will be the finality of it all.”

    posted 3 times.

    Good thing you’re not completely hysterical or anything…

  28. Parker

    Haha #76, you’re right, all politicians are salesmen. McCain just happens to be an old, delusional, single-mindedly stupid salesman. That’s why he’ll lose. That plus he’s so far out of touch with the rest of the world that even his own party has written him off. You’d think after 26 years in congress he’d have some clue by now. He’s an anachronism, a dinosaur. The world left him behind a long time ago. People may buy a ticket to visit him in Jurassic Park but they won’t let him pretend he’s part of this century when he clearly is not. “I, uh, I uh, I don’t know how many houses I own but I’ll have someone look that up for you cause I wouldn’t know how. I can’t even use a cellphone. Haha. Isn’t that funny an old man like me can’t use a cellphone? Doesn’t that endear you to me? I’m just like the average Joe. Haha. Why heck, I don’t even know what a loaf of bread costs. All I know is how to sit in the Senate, vote once in a while if the lobbyists tells me how I should vote, and hold out my hand for campaign contributions from the lobbyists.”

  29. campaign advisor

    “John, here’s our idea for the last two weeks. Let’s use it during stump speeches – especial Ms. Palin’s – and for TV ads and all those robocalls. It’s a winner! It goes something like this:”

    ‘NO! NO! MY GOD! DON’T VOTE FOR OBAMA! UGH! UGH! THE WORLD WILL END! HE’S THE BLACK SATAN! HE’S A SOCIALIST! HE’S A COMMUNIST! HE’S A TERRORIST! UGH! UGH! NO! NO! STOP! DON’T! HE’LL KILL US ALL! WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!’

    “John, you’re smiling, we knew you’d like it! What? Oh, well, ok, granted, but I think it’s possible that you liked the idea AND you just had your first successful bowel movement in a month.”

  30. John McCain

    Why I can’t remember the last time I had a successful bowel movement but you’re right, I was smiling at that. It’s evil but I’ll tell people it’s necessary for them to know that when Obama was a baby in Hawaii, some guy who lives near him now set off some bombs. I also have to let them know he wants to lower taxes on the wrong people. Those who net under $250K a year do nothing for this country. It’s the people who net more than $250K a year who make this country great. My wife makes millions a year and she’s great. What we really need to do is tax the healthcare contributions those people get from their employers. Take the burden off business, I say. Put it on the people who work for them! I wish I had a postage stamp for every young man over 70 who tells me how much he’s afraid of someone younger than him running the country. I could save our country’s businesses a lot of tax money cause I’d give those stamps to my staff for their e-mail.

  31. John McCain

    Of course I reserve the right to qualify my remarks at any time in the future if they conflict with anything some tells me I need to say in order to get elected. Go Yankees. Win one for the Gipper. What? What’s that? Where am I? Who turned off my hearing aid? Where’s my goddamn limo?

  32. Kimberly

    What are you talking about?

    Yeah, the beginning was kinda short, but the rap was fucking HILARIOUS (When Amy Poehler shot the moose!)! And the Mark Wahlberg bit was pretty good too.

  33. jen hutchin

    Palin is lame. She is pretty for a governor, that;’s it. She also likes to lie and sling the mud. To hell with her. Or to Alaska with her.

  34. Bert

    The egg timer beeped, Mrs. Palin. Last time, that meant that an old egg was being fertilized (which became Trig). This time, it means back to Alaskan obscurity for you. No more avoiding the family crisis of your pregnant unmarried teenage daughter.

  35. fluffer

    @59 LMFAO

    nicely done, sir.

    MCCAIN/PALIN + NOV.4TH = EPIC FAIL

  36. mafme

    Kent is an idiot who votes against his own interest. The kents of the world need to be rounded up and placed on an island where they can vote lions and badgers into power then rejoice when THEIR lion or THEIR badger gets voted into power. They can then, from their island, explain to the rest of us how great it is that their lion killed and devoured their children and say that anyone who says that devouring children is bad is a dirty commie nazi fascist socialist turrist.

  37. Ananana

    i can’t believe how much i like sarah palin. i feel shame!!!

  38. Yikes

    Why is everyone being so silly?

    How fortunate for leaders that men do not think. – Hitler

    Every single tax break that the federal government gives is going to benefit the top earners in America. Democrat or Republican. Liberal or Conservative. It is impossible to give a tax break to the poor. Why?

    Because the top earners in America are the only ones who pay federal income taxes. You can’t give a tax break to the lowest earners because they don’t pay any taxes. When politicians say “he/she wants to give tax breaks to the rich and not the poor” it is a play on words. Yes, essentially he/she does want to give a tax break to the rich and not the poor, because the rich and not the poor are the ones paying the taxes.

    The top-5% of wage earners pay 54.36% of the taxes.
    The top-10% of wage earners pay 65.84% of the taxes.
    The top-50% of wage earners pay 96.54% of the taxes.

    The bottom-50% of wage earners pay 3.46% of the taxes.

    So you see? The top-1% of wage earners pay nearly ten times the taxes than the bottom-50% of wage earners. In essence, it is nearly impossible to give the bottom-50% of wage earners a tax break, because they pay 3.46% of the taxes.

    That means for every 1000 dollars paid in taxes to the government the bottom-50% pays $34.60. You can’t just have the bottom-50% pay no taxes! Like Joe Biden says, that would simply be unpatriotic!

    From the horses mouth. . .

    IRS 1985-2003 DATA: http://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-soi/04in06tr.xls

  39. Hmm…with the tiny, meaningless, insignificant amount of federal tax I pay out of my less than $250k a year each month, I could make two car payments, or most of a rent payment. I mean, I couldn’t buy a $150,000 Palin wardrobe with it, but that money could still be very helpful to me.

    Hey, does anyone think maybe McCain should have attacked Bush instead of Obama? I mean, McCain’s repeating the same lines Bush used in 2004. (Tax breaks for the wealthy makes jobs! Also makes spare yachts on different coasts! )Bush is a disaster. Shouldn’t McCain be trying to distance himself from Bush?
    Of course, this ditzy, pre-destined apocalyptic weather girl mannequin McCain picked for VP isn’t helping much, either.

    Poor McCain. He had some funny skits on SNL a few years ago.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAE_NXbdBy8

    @35 – Samantha, yeah, I’m wondering if Wahlberg was running a publicity stunt from the start. However, his P.R. folks may have informed him he looked like a baby for complaining.

    @78 – Parker, It’s like this satanic car salesman I’ve never heard of until five minutes earlier telling me he’s trying to help me (buy a car I’m not sure about without checking around) because he’s my friend. Who falls for that shit? Give me something in legally binding in writing. Hold yourself accountable or fuck off. Smiles and handshakes, BAH!

  40. dethbd

    so at the end when the camera pulls away, did anyone get a look at those f-me boots SP was wearing? damn!!

  41. OMG…, you are so sweet..I, one of your fans, found the blogs you posted several days ago on the website AgelessOnly.COM. You also disclosed your relationship with your soulmate. Sounds wonderful.

  42. xXx

    LOL :-)))))

  43. this is so funny

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