Sarah Jessica Parker finds a way to distract me from her face – THANK YOU!

May 13th, 2008 // 68 Comments

Sarah Jessica Parker attended the London premiere of Sex and the City: The Movie yesterday. It would appear that, earlier in the day, Sarah Jessica decided to pay somebody real money for the ten-foot tall vegetation jutting out of her head. Because there’s nothing like showing up for the most relevant thing you’ve done in the past five years looking like Carmen Miranda’s retarded step-sister – who’s also a zombie.

NOTE: Kim “The Slutty One” Cattrall’s face clearly saying “Premeditated murder coming up in 5, 4, 3, 2….”

Thanks to Christina who should have her own show called “Kickass in the City.”

Photos: Splash News

  1. thatgirl

    so i think it’s safe to say that the lesbian is the hottest one there.

  2. English Bob

    I would totally do all those birds from Desperate Housewives, especially the brunnette one that married the jew……..

  3. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    Already saw this yesterday at another site.

  4. Count Drunkula

    FIRS… ew, forget it.

    Look at Kim big old lady face. She is really starting to age. After Being possessed by Lo Pan I guess I can’t give her too much shit though.

  5. English Bob

    It’s true SJP doe’s look a pratt (FYI:English term for dickhead, not that moron that’s fucking Heidi Montag), but how does Kim Catrell manage to balance all those photographers on her head?? She truly is an amazing slut puppy….

  6. Ugh…eyesore much??

  7. English Bob

    Hey snoozy No. 3 we saw you yesterday at another site ‘’ Now fuck off and leave the rest of us to post in peace……….

  8. nipolian

    Forget the stupid hat…….Her corn on the cob looking dress screams somebody please shuck me.

  9. Joliet Jake

    Horseface is just saving that vegetation for grazing.

  10. hot mess

    @2 the lesbian is always the hottest one.

    and @3 feel free to go back whatever site you were on b4…if i wanted snoring, i would get into bed with my husband

  11. Count Drunkula

    #1 are you referring to that sinewy ghoul in the black dress?

    Kill yourself right now please.

    Oh, you’re a girl. Gashes always have a skewed view of what is hot.

  12. Anonny

    Wha… I just… but… what the-…. No words. Just no words.

  13. dubmeister

    SHE is one damn ugly bitch. there’s less wrinkly baggy skin on an elephants knee than there is on her elbows! she looks like Madonna’s afterbirth.

  14. Something tells me it smells like gefilte under that dress.

  15. English Bob

    Are you telling me that Charlottes a Lezza in real life ??? Not that i know all their character names or anything, but my wife usually watches it on Sunday nights when were (I mean ‘I’m') having sex…..

  16. hot mess


    Mr. Spitz_on_Her, you have exceeded my expectations. @#3, please take note of appropriate Superficial behavior.

  17. pigkeepr31

    Miranda’s is gay in real life.

  18. restingonlaurels

    no, the lesbian is the redhead in the black dress, and she is the hottest, i have to agree with #1.

  19. Superevil

    How many young billionaires are there on that spam site? If i was one I’d just buy a shitload of asian sex slaves instead of trying to waste my time with some horsefaced half-celeb.

  20. Grunion

    Whats the big deal, she’s not that bad. A couple pitchers of beer take the edge of that face then it’s sodomy city, for her of course.

  21. English Bob

    No.19, yeh that’s Miranda as No.18 said….Charlotte (Red dress) is easily the hottest, dirtiest would be Samantha, lesbianest would be Miranda and most useless, annoyingest (Yes it’s a word) would be Carrie. The only way i’d go see this film is if they all haemoraged on a big black cock at the end of it. I don’t think that’s what happens though, probably one gets married, one has a kid, one dies and the other one turns lesbian….Don’t want to spoil for you though……!

  22. tanya

    Sara is in some desparate need of air brushing.

  23. dude

    just look at those damn arms in pic 1. Just what I thought all along….tranny.

  24. sansha

    That hat is a Isabella Blow creation I’d bet.

  25. 1 MILF Hunter

    Horrible. Awful. Horawfible.

  26. Chauncey Gardner

    She’s always had a serious case of witchface, but I never really noticed the wart before. Can you imagine kissing her and feeling that thing twisting slightly when your lip brushes it?

  27. sla

    The Miranda actress would be hotter if she used just a wee bit of pencil on her eyebrows, as they are invisible.

    Sarah’s hat would be useful as a target in a shooting competition.

  28. Jrz

    God, she is such an asshole.

  29. craigj

    SJP has flappy turkey arms and a horse’s ass for a face. What however, is the big deal about Kim Cattral? She’s been ridden hard and put away wet for 3 decades and it shows.

  30. Nature Channel

    Ahh…a rare sighting of a mare-igold in full bloom…

  31. Chauncey Gardner

    That’s actually not a hat. Somebody stuck a fucking revolver under her chin and pulled the trigger, and that’s what came out of the exit wound.

  32. Peter

    This is the only picture of her that I think she actually looks cute. She should dress like a garden fairy all the time. Who knew?

  33. Sandy

    Sarah Jessica Parker has such a wonder fashion sense! But I wonder why her grandma (next to her) looks so uncomfortable, as if the Metamucil kicked in at a most unfortunate moment. And her fat retarded sister on the end (in red) certainly looks perplexed. Possibly the lesbian next to her slipped a couple fingers up her ass while they were posing?

  34. Mike

    Caption above SJP’s head:

    I’m melting. Meeeellllltttiiiing!

  35. jen hutchin

    No guys should comment unless they are gays. Sex and the City is a woman thing, and you just dont understand.

  36. deathstar

    @ 26 Isabella Blow might have had a bit of trouble designing that hat considering she’s dead. It’s by Phillip Treacy.

  37. Woman Who Loves Guys

    “No guys should comment unless they are gays. Sex and the City is a woman thing, and you just dont understand.”

    Sounds like a typical SATC fan. But, as your statement indicates, the it’s more accurate to say it’s a bitch thing. Those aging perpetual whiners sure don’t speak to or for me.

  38. Megan

    Sarah is hot when she straightens her hair and it’s above her shoulders, and when he bangs are side swept and not parted down the middle.

    She was hot in Hocus Pocus though. Damn that was ages ago.

  39. Vet

    # 33 that is the funniest thing I have read in a long time. Damn that hat is stupid.

  40. Dr. Seuss

    Horton hears a who?

  41. hi hr u ? ur my favor actress nd i love u so much darling plz once ill met u in my jounry life we lvu so much

  42. Randal

    What a beautiful woman.

    Sex in the City is gonig to be this summers biggest hit after Indiana Jones and The Dark Knight. I love looking at this woman. Her smile captivates, her eyes shine and her skin is very healthy looking.

    “Looking good kid,” as Mr. Big would say.


  43. Suzanna

    Interesting the Red head looks the best for once… and Sarahs hat (if we can call it that) I hope if flys away… coo coo 4 coco puffs man!

  44. sitting on my mud - need new chair now

    God damn you guys are killing me! Sinewy ghoul, the twisting wart kiss, the exit wound was obviously a very LSD thing!~ you fuckers are viscious I thought I was cruel. hahahahahhahhahahhahahahhahhaha

  45. elizabeth

    Hey, Sarah, why the long face?

    Seriously, I love the show and am clamoring for the movie, but SJP was born in Nelsonville, Ohio, the asshole of the world, and a whole lot of money is the only thing diferentiating her from any corn-fed, Virginia Slim smoking, white-trash princess pushing a naked, Kool-Aid-stained baby around in a Kroger shopping cart. Yet she thinks soooo much of herself.

    Thank god the writing is so good that she disappears, or I wouldn’t be able to enjoy the stories at all. Horsefaced pompous prissy bitch.

  46. Jeep

    Can’t believe that thing still around, who would want to look like an old man with a bunch of ridiculous overpriced clothes?, what the hell is wrong with people?, they follow anything with the promise of a loose vagina.

  47. Kim Lard-ass-ian

    I’ll have to agree the lesbian and brunette are the best looking, however for 50 cattrall looks fucking great

  48. Kim Lard-ass-ian

    I’ll have to agree the lesbian and brunette are the best looking, however for 50 cattrall looks fucking great

  49. Kim Lard-ass-ian

    have to agree the lesbian looks best, fucking gorgeous. Cattrall is over 50? she looks pretty fuckin gorgeous for that age.

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