Sarah Jessica Parker & Matthew Broderick will shut you up. With twins!

April 29th, 2009 // 70 Comments

In response to rumors they’re getting a divorce, Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick have announced they’re expecting twins. Via surrogate that is. The AP reports:

Parker, 44, and Broderick, 47, “are happily anticipating the birth of their twin daughters later this summer with the generous help of a surrogate. The entire family is overjoyed,” said a statement from the publicists.
The couple has a 6-year-old son, James Wilkie Broderick, and will mark their 12th wedding anniversary next month.
Details about the surrogate or her pregnancy were unavailable, the publicists said.

Because nothing proves a couple’s undying love for each other than not even having the required sex to procreate. God, what devotion.

Photos: Getty

  1. firsty


  2. Huckleberry Hashimoto

    They’re such a cute couple. If you’re a horse, that is.

  3. rachel

    with the sideburns he looks like he is trying to be wolverine. FAIL

  4. Deacon Jones

    That look in his eyes says it all….

  5. Goblinkatie

    So… surrogate or knocked up mistress?

  6. Way to Go!! I love this couple..Congratulations!!

  7. Sarah

    she’s 44, she probably CAN’T have kids on her own anymore, sheesh.

  8. gosyco

    Men, we’ve got to band together and save one of our own. Can’t you read the screeeeeaming cries for help across Matt’s pitiful face? Great Scott!!

    I’ll stay behind and guard the ship.

  9. ph7

    he looks like the unhappiest man on earth – and rightfully so.

  10. sam

    He has come a long way. From spunky Ferris Beuller to this… sad, sad shell of his former self. Lose the sideburns and and at least try to look happy, Matthew. You are an actor, right? For inspiration, watch how Brad Pitt is doing it.

    On second thought, maybe Brad isn’t doing it so well. They both have the same look of despair and hound-dog eyes. Like trapped animals.

  11. sam

    And as for Sarah, sporting bed-head hair isn’t enough to make people think all is well in the Broderick-Parker boudoir. And the raccoon eye makeup can look really sexy when you are in your twenties. After forty, not so much. Seen Pamela Anderson lately? She and SJ both look like they could cackle really convincingly.

  12. ishi-san

    *haha* the happiness in his face!

  13. Zanna

    Yup. He’s got the look of a man who is “trapped”. And she’s got the look of a woman who got her way. I’m guessing the “surrogate” is the chic he cheated on her with.

  14. Jim

    They wouldn’t have need a surrogate if they wanted a pony.

  15. Leslie

    I think it’s so funny her husband doesn’t even want to bang her! Haaaaaaaaa! Ugly horse face!

  16. Rick

    That’s the look that was on every guy’s face who was dragged to the “Sex in the City” movie.

  17. Deacon Jones

    lol, seriously.
    This guy needs to dump her ass, move to Miami, develop a coke habit, and bang college dance club groupies. He’s fucking Ferris Bueller for christ sake.

  18. mamamiasweetpeaches

    I remember reading in a gossip rag many years ago before they were married that she was hell-bent on getting him to marry her and was even gonna “get preganant so he’d HAVE to marry her”. I believed it then and I believe it NOW. She will do ANYTHING to keep her hooks in him and – like others have pointed out – he looks like he’s in his own personal living Hell. Remember what a cute kid he was? He’s aged 50 years since meeting this broad!

  19. Nero

    Congrats to them! Only am not sure if the kids will be happy with their ugly parents!

  20. Darth

    Money makes up a lot but still.Uglyness is a big problem in the world.

  21. Barbaro

    That’s the look of every man who’s with a “liberated” woman.

  22. norton

    Could you imagine being married to horse face? Especially now after he got caught banging some other chick…… ugh.

    I bet her mouth goes a hundred miles a minute given her Jewish American Princess background.

    Somehow I’d just love to punch this broad right in the face.

  23. Crabby Old Guy

    I seem to recall that he was responsible for a car accident which left one or two people dead while he was vacationing in GB. Long time ago – pre marriage to Mr. Ed.

    If so, makes you think that Karma truly does exist and he’s the poster child.

    Fuck. Talk about your “Dead Man Walking” look.

  24. mikeock

    I bet she’d be a nice ass fuck

  25. mamamiasweetpeaches

    Hios hair and sideburns combo makes him look like Bob Cratchitt from SCROOGE.

  26. this says it all

    Carrie: “Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that’s just fabulous.”

    Yes, excellent, by all means fall in love with yourself. That makes you such a wonderful person to be with. Just look at what happened to Bueller.

  27. Dude– grab your jar and run!!

  28. Paul

    That is the look of a man who has surrendered. Poor sod.

  29. I agree with just most of you, he looks weathered & his speedometer needs some rollin back

  30. Mr. Jones

    Not to say Ferris looks like the Squire of Gothos, but…


  31. Deva

    I wonder if anyone will consider if her new kids look like the same brand of shoe that is her face?

  32. Normal

    You are all VILE people. She looks very pretty here – her eyes are stunning and that dress is absolutely fabulous. And of course his sideburns are odd but I’m assuming that’s for a role. And guess what – HE’S NOT FERRIS BUELLER. He’s aged because he’s older, and life is not a movie. I’m sure their relationship isn’t perfect but who the fu** are you people to comment on it.

    Why am I here? Jesus Christ you’re all disgusting.

  33. suzee

    hoping it is neither her eggs or his sperm.

  34. ToTellTheTruth

    He looks like he wants to stab the fuck outta her.

  35. pappy smeary

    It’s so obvious, after broderick killed those two girls in the England car crash a settlement was reached in which broderick would be married to a horse chosen by the victims’ family, as die hard fans of the fim “Hocus Pocus” it was a given that Broderick would be married to the horse-witch SJP

  36. Richard McBeef

    @33 – take your righteousness, wad it up into a little ball, and shove it right up your tight ass.

  37. MustangSally

    OMG is BAR Rafaeli cheating on LEO?

  38. Detmolders

    Weird looking people need to stay together in order minimize the OMGness of the universe.

  39. Ralph

    Giver her a carrot and while she is occupied, maybe he can escape!

  40. E

    wow, could they look any happier?

    geez, they look miserable.

  41. Migz

    Gee, don’t Neil Young & Mr. Ed make a lovely couple?

  42. CC

    You’re all ignoring a very important fact here: Matthew Broderick is gay as the dya is long. Goes a long(er) way towards explaining that expression…

  43. Debbie31

    Who is SJP kidding? Is she honestly looking into her husband’s eyes? He looks dead and uninterested. Matthew has checked out…….how sad, isn’t it just like a couple who are on the verge of a divorce to think about having another kid???? I give it 6 months.

  44. Shawn

    Her bod is rockin’ in those pics.

    …but that head….

  45. Obama Khan

    It’s the case of the dog that didn’t bark, as our time-traveling Moriarty knows all too well. #44 is correct – having a kid is often the way couples on the verge look to rekindle their relationship, and when you’re rich like these two, I guess you just hire someone else to do all the labor. Mazel tov!.

  46. jt

    yeah, nobody has kids in order to save their marriage.

  47. His eyes are screaming!!!

  48. justifiable

    Matthew, it’s Guy Ritchie on the phone for you. He says “Run! Run NOW!”

  49. Maggie From Buffalo

    He looks thrilled!!!

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