Sarah Jessica Parker is packing her bags

January 7th, 2009 // 55 Comments

Seen here apparently wearing my bathrobe in public, Sarah Jessica Parker is getting the ready to hit the ol’ dusty trail and move away from the allegedly unfaithful Matthew Broderick, according to Star:

“The time has come when she realizes it just isn’t worth it,” a friend of the couple tells Star. “Sarah Jessica is determined to get her own place and bring down the curtain on her marriage.”
Adds another insider: “Sarah’s not stupid. She knows exactly what’s going on. For a while it was easier for her to stay than go through a harsh divorce. They’re essentially living separate lives.”

Matthew Broderick’s penis released the following statement:

I’m still not coming out and you can’t make me. Not without a coroner’s report, and I’m allowed to identify the body. Oh, God, there she is! Wait. Just a horse. Just a horse.

Photos: Splash News

  1. anastasia

    Looks like the kid got the worst of both of them. Poor bastard.

  2. Kelley

    Whoot !

  3. Mistress

    It is hard to have a discrete affair when famous. I hope they both remain friends for thier kids sake.

  4. Parker

    boy, I’m totally confilcted here. On the one hand I’m glad he ditched this ugly old hag for a nice little 25 year old girl but on the other hand, he’s a douchebag so I could give a rat’s ass.

    I guess I feel bad for the 25 year old girl?
    No. I don’t.

    This is such a non-story. I think it was made up just to mess with our heads.

  5. He begged her to stay, and she say “neeeeigh”…



  6. He begged her to stay, and she say “neeeeigh”…



  7. Where will she go? I don’t think the LA zoo has a horseface exhibit, maybe she could move to Tijuana.

  8. ella

    Matthew Broderick is beginning to look like Nathan Lane

  9. CaptainMorgan

    I’m sure he “begged” her to stay. I bet he packed her bags and put a few sugar cubes by the elevator to lure her out.

    Could someone PLEASE photoshop a paper bag on her head?

  10. Deacon Jones

    20 years ago, box office star, banging Samone, and now???…..

  11. Randal

    Happy New Year everyone!

    It’s been a good two weeks since I saw all of you last and what do you know, one of my favorite is my first comment for 2009.

    It’s a shame that Matthew doesn’t realize the gem he has in Sarah, who not only stuns folks with her warm smile but continues to be a star in the scene and who still holds herself high with a glass of class.

    She’s now the number one catch in the industry, so look out men, she might just have her eye on you.



    Kid – ” Somebody kill me. Somebody kill me. Somebody kill me. “

  13. Ryan Goldschlager

    Matthew Broderick STILL isn’t coming out? Gimme a break.

  14. Wonder why Matthew dump her, is it the labeling of unsexiest woman by Maxim or thinking shes Carry Bradshaw in being so damn opinionated…either way its childish, the woman was a bread winner…

  15. Oh my god! I love talking advertisments!! Way to go Superficial!


  16. Danklin24

    Matthew Broderick cheated? You mean someone else actually wanted him? That dorky guy is lucky that Horseface Sexaholic even touched his penis once. Talk about thanking your lucky stars.

  17. feces

    This skank is an hereditary actress otherwise with that ugly face she would have made it. Of course to her own kind she has a cute little button nose!


  18. hausfrau

    He looks like a fat, aging queen.
    Good riddance. I hope the 25 year old takes him for everything he’s got and then outs him.

  19. Fati

    unfaithful?! excuse me? what do you know, I guess there IS such a thing as justifyable adultery! i mean who he hell could stay faithful to THIS?

  20. JJ

    Is cheating with another fag?

  21. JJ

    Is he cheating with another fag?

  22. vapor

    Was it Nathan that was playing hide the wieney with Matt? Just curious.

  23. Zales

    There was a blind item a month or so ago about a married couple that wants to split but the female member of the union and bigger star, to save face, had to somehow get out of the marriage without people finding out that she was knowingly married to a homosexual the entire time.

    But yeah, SJP knew she was married to a gay man. I see this in L.A. all the time. Lots of women out there will marry a guy even if they know he’s gay as long as he is ( a ) well-endowed ( b ) fun to shop with ( c ) inwardly tormented and easy to control. Especially ( c ). These women also tend to be desperate so they settle for a gay who needs a beard, that way they don’t look like spinsters and they can pursue other opportunities on the side as they arise.

  24. pattyanne

    And the prince kissed her, and they went off together to live happily everafter… what went wrong?…..again?…..with celebs today? Do they think that “i take this man/woman to be my lawfully wedded, etc, etc, till death, or a better catch comes along?……

  25. Ummm...yeah...

    OMG!Who gives a flying fuck? That bitch is as ugly as they come and her husband is too. God, look at that fucking thing they spawned! Fuck!Will it ever end?

  26. Sport

    Fuck – Bueller looks frightening, bloated and gay.

  27. authorego

    She’ll look better when she has someone give her positive attention. He’s never going to look good and guilt makes a dick really really limp.

  28. PettyPape

    Is that kid “special”? He looks like that tiny Kathy girl that used to be on Diffrent Strokes & was Arnold’s friend, you know, to teach everyone about acceptance.

  29. Douchey,assholish comment by #33

    #23-Shut the fuck up.You don’t know anybody like this.You read too much tabloid shit,and you have no idea what the man’s sexuality.Shut the fuck up,you slack jawed POS.

  30. Fernanado Narcos

    Well,Ferris’ oats and alfalfa bill just went away

  31. All of this is sad.

  32. Anexio

    He looks like he’s gained some weight since he’s been sucking on Nathan Lane’s cock.

  33. Ted from Gulfstream Park

    See you in the 6th tomorrow, Jessica. We’re taking off the blinders.

  34. JimmyBachaFungool

    Hello, I’m Mr. Ed.

    She should move into a stable at Churchill Downs.

  35. hausfrau

    #19- yeah, your wife uses that excuse, too.

  36. ramona putz

    We all know who the real wife is-Nathan Lane.
    The kid ,by the way, is adoreable.

  37. ramona putz

    We all know who the real wife is-Nathan Lane.
    The kid ,by the way, is adoreable.

  38. ramona putz

    We all know who the real wife is-Nathan Lane.
    The kid ,by the way, is adoreable.

  39. There are pastures enough in america for grazing!!

  40. ghost

    Does this ugly, unpleasant old bitch really think she can do better than a closeted guy who is cheating on here? Hang on to what you got, sweetheart. You won’t do any better.

  41. Rustbucket

    He’s upgrading his “beard”- he had Lasik and realized SJP looks too much like a dude…

  42. egirl

    Would someone, for God’s sake, cut this kid’s hair? Are SJP and Nathan’s toy SO confused in their own pants that they don’t know their kid’s a boy? Don’t worry. We know. Everything.

  43. CRogers

    I think their kid has adorable potential..! In this photo, he literally looks like a mini Matthew Broderick, pre-chunk.

    Shame about their relationship. They were an odd couple but I grew to like them — didn’t they give anyone a kind of satisfaction that shit can work out between married celebrities..? Or hey, “regular people” even. Wah wah, another one bites the dust.

  44. riotgrl

    Yup, another picture of James Wilkie looking like a homeless person. *yawn*

  45. Danklin24

    Is that a boy or girl or Tiny Tim next to her? Can you say weirdest looking child ever?!?!?

  46. Danklin24

    #17, WTF is a hereditary actress?

  47. blp

    I was hoping this was about her packing her bags to go home to whatever planet she came from. Damn that face!

  48. EuroNeckPain

    She has big ears
    But what bothers me most is her clothes. She always looks like she picked pieces at random. I think what is interesting about fashion, is to enhance a figure, make someone look better without anyone noticing that the clothes are responsible of the change. But SJP’s definition of fashion is “shocking combination”. So she wears a man’s hat with a flowery dress, an electric blue coat that does not fit over a shirt that is too long.
    Not elegant.

  49. julie evans

    That kid looks autistic….in every picture he’s in.

  50. Jenna

    I must be the only one, but I think she can look really pretty. Depending on the angle. Anyway, I applaud her for finally leaving him, if he’s cheating. But, they were a cute couple. Sad it came to an end.

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