Sarah Jessica Parker is just plain ugly

September 25th, 2007 // 309 Comments

Mother of God, is it possible for someone to be less attractive? I don’t get how any man could find her the least bit arousing. Even if solid gold coins shot out of her ears during sex, there’s no way I’d go near Sarah Jessica Parker. Sure I’d be filthy rich, but my wang would never talk to me again. And it’s important for the two of us to maintain open lines of communication. I need to know when he’s got to pee, and he needs to know when I’m drunk. So he’s ready for some mystery spelunking. Will he be in a woman tonight or a bagel? Therein lies the mystery.


  1. Nancy

    Stop it! Sarah doesn’t need to be saddled with this type of criticism! It’s not the type of thing that spurs her on to greater achievements, like hoofing it onstage on Broadway. The Sex in the City movie is a good opportunity for her now, after a few swings and misses professionally, and she’s not one to look a gift horse in the mouth. You guys are so harsh! It’s like, somebody breaks her leg and you decide to shoot her. I know some of you are just horsing around, but eventually after so much negativity even the most secure person will put on a long face.

  2. j

    looks like she already did…………put on the long face that is.

  3. jan hutch

    Leave her alone! She’s a human.! She has worked so hard! Please just leave her alone. Ha ha.

  4. j

    ………..if anyone has a problem with sjp you deal with me, because she’s not stable right now………………hahahaha

  5. She was never that hot to begin with and this photo just proves that even more. None of the Sex And The City girls are really that hot.
    Where celebrity goes hip-hop

  6. mike hunt

    OK, OK. This is rather pathetic. She is not a classic beauty, no doubt, perhaps plain as can be all done up nicely. But what’s the point of this pile-on-like-a-grade-school-football-game bashing? This is just over the top. I’m no fan of hers at all, in fact I’ve never seen her in anything that I watched all the why through. I just think this is mean spirited.

    Now just to prove that I’m not a total prude,…. your Spears spots are great entertainment!

  7. tommy salami

    i would rather masturbate to medusa……..i think it would be more safe than sarah

    god have u seen sarah’s nasty feet?

    and u people think her face is ugly……………………………….

    that bitch is truly head to toe ugly and you could use her hair to scour your pots and pans

  8. OLDasDirt

    You kids are goonna get old 1 day like me!
    damn for me she’s cute & sexy!

  9. Whizerik

    She’s just the kind who’s attractive to women, not men. Like Princess Diana. And then the women’s mags promote them ad nauseam. She’s not ugly though. But seriously, Princess Diana – she looked like a prison warder.

  10. Blondamnation

    Why did nobody comment on the absolute randomness of #27??
    Proxy by what the fuck?? shoes, dress, what the hell was that?

    That was the random post of the year.

    And Biddy, you’re an idiot. I live an hour 1+1/2 outside of LA and I wouldn’t live there, but I’m not 12 so I don’t think people who live in LA have cooties.

    I think socialite is way off on this one. She’s not ugly at all, I’ll bet she’s way prettier than your last 3 girlfriends (real only..)

  11. wonkyeyesez:

    She’s like, the most gorgeous person on earth.

  12. Ascil

    How could a face like this be called art? she’s no devil nor angel to be in hollywood!! Bah!! I think we should cut a paperbag with 3 holes to cover her face but not the body when she acts…..Beat tht!!

  13. Vanessa

    Geez everyone, back off. She got the sex and the city gig not because she was fucking anyone but because she is a good actress. The creators of the show are gay and they insisted that she play the part because she is so real. She might not be a conventional beauty but she certainly makes up for it with TALENT. LOOKS AREN’T EVERYTHING.

    Watch Sex and the city and you’ll know what I mean. It’s like Entourage with a soul although I like Entourage a lot too. I don’t usually say a show is perfect and I don’t think the last season of Sex and the city was as good as the first, second and third etc. but it is still better then anything on t.v today.

    It’s totally submersive, addictive and just plain good t.v.

    I for one can’t wait until the movie comes out =)

    Don’t miss out on the many hours of entertainment. Watch it and I guarentee you’ll have a good time!

  14. sheila

    GIVE HER A BREAK…you are a bunch of miserable people, unhappy with your own life so put down someone else. She is happily married and a mother and leads a normal life, (unlke other celebs theses days). so go back to your mIserable lives where the only thing that makes you happy is to put down someone else. PATHETIC

  15. emmaleigh

    everyone here is so pathetic. SJP is an icon in the television world and while her face is rather unique and may not have the obvious beauty of people who get by with easy to read nose, eyes and mouth that mesh easily with one another, she’s uniquely beautiful and by no means ugly. she CAN be ugly, as can everyone else in the world, but she can also be remarkable looking. like say seasons 4 – 6 of Sex and the City she was undoubtedly gorgeous, Season one…well thats another story.

    i bet 90% of the assholes who blog on this site raggin on the rich and famous and ugly as sin.

    Do you feel better about yourselves yet?
    Have you found a man or woman to sex you up and release the tension in your tight asses??

  16. jrzmommy

    I bet #265 likes the smell of her own farts.

  17. tommy salami

    god what an ugly shrew of a jew

  18. IWONKY

    SJP’s face=I’m melting, melting, melting

  19. angela

    she’s not that, THAT bad. and she has a killer bod! cynthia looks good and has def. dropped some weight. but i cant get her not-very-attractive red head, butch gf outta my head. hm. kim looks awesome for her age. and charlotte (cant remember her real name and cbf looking it up), looks pretty okay too. except she has fat legs/calves. or very muscly. whatever. they dont look that great. ALL THAT ASIDE, I CANNOT FUCKING WAIT FOR THIS MOVIE!!!!!!

  20. El Sueno

    We’re not gonna take it
    No, we ain’t gonna take it
    We’re not gonna take it anymore

  21. farty_mcshitface

    well, she looks like shit. some ask why do her hands looks so veiny and mannish? quite simple really- it’s called anorexia. she is 5’4 and weighs 97 pounds. look at any of the anorexic Hollywood broads like angelina jolie or paris hilton and the lot. they ALL have those bony, veiny old man hands
    nothing new here…………….

  22. adeliza

    I guess I finally made it.

    I have offically been trolled.
    #222 ain’t me.

    Oh well!

  23. she is just plain old! and please wake up!
    most of the “super” stars are ugly!
    it’s just a work of a computer guy making them prettier.

  24. Jill

    Oh come on, she’s Sarah Jessica Parker. She’s gorgeous!!!

  25. Snarky McComments

    Gawd! My ball sack has smooter skin….

  26. cynthia

    You all got it wrong – she is darling. Some photos are more flattering than others – these are not at her best. If you watch the show, you will see that she has the entire package — a great look, maybe not classically beautiful, but pulls it off with her personality, style and humor. I think she’s amazing, she’s beautiful and no one else could ever play that role. so lighten up – not everyone has a great day ever yday.

  27. Dude

    Somebody up there got it right – chicks think SJP is attractive (“a great look, maybe not classically beautiful, but pulls it off with her personality, style and humor”). It’s the fantasy – be seen as attractive even though you really aren’t. Guys can’t join in – straight guys, at least – because Mr. Penis votes “NO!” and his vote is the only one that counts.

  28. GACK69


  29. jrzmommy

    If Matthew Broderick thinks she’s attractive, that’s all that matters. After all, he’s the one who has to muck her stall.

  30. BunnyButt


  31. Nathiest

    nah.. she is just a celebrity that dosen’t believe in plastic surgery. Dumb old hag.

  32. Half the people calling her ugly are overweight, Hawain shirt wearing losers. I don’t particularly like SJP, but isn’t it good that for onc someone is famous regardless of how they look?

  33. Me

    Jetta (number 18) to answer your question, it’s poor nutrition that can cause those nasty looking hands, and considering that most actresses prefer getting the job as opposed to eating, well, you get see the dilemma…i was watching a movie a few days back from the 80, Now and Then, and i was SCHOCKED to see how poorly the adult actors were. the kids far excelled in their acting ability, and these women are hugely famous, but they can’t act for shit, and I believe ms. thang here falls into that category. she can’t act but for some reason, she’s got people drooling over her. go figure.

  34. roughdaddy

    looks are not an accomplisment stop bashing the woman…

  35. geez i been saying this for a very long time.

  36. Attractive & Fit Female With Veiny Hands

    It is mostly based on hereditary. I am a fit and attractive female and I have always had ugly veiny hands thanks to my mom. Most people are not looking at my hands anyway, so I don’t put effort worrying about it.

  37. Get Real People

    Sara is rich and famous because she wanted it bad enough. She is considered attractive because she works at it. I love America because one can be anything one chooses to be. All you females out there that believe you are unattractive; think again, take care of yourself, and wear flattering clothes for your body type.

  38. Dick R.

    Sarah Jessica Parker’s the pretty girl’s very unattractive friend that grew up and was persistant enough to finally lead her own show. I mean, she’s horribly shit-stained, and she has no charisma. What gives? Also, Sex-in The City; I loathe that show. I have a dick, and a brain, so no wonder I don’t enjoy four over-the hill actresses babbling their way through the more attractive portions of Manhattan. Die Sarah Parker. Oh, yeah, Fuck elderly Kim Cattrall as well.

  39. JacksonWallace

    I’m a forgiving guy, but I always thought she was a hag from the git go. I thought she had a decent bod, but always called her the shnozzola, cuz please, that thing is huge. Now she’s all around hideous. They should’ve made this movie a bit earlier, I think. Kim Cattrell can’t move either without the makeup crevassing.
    THis movie is all about fantasy for women based on a life that would be pathetic in reality, desperate has-beens trolling for young hot men too stupid to know what their penis is telling them to do. The womna is a straight up hag. I’m sure she’s nice, but this series has gone far enough. This movie may be a career-ender for all involved.

  40. smarter than you

    R u fucking kidding??? She’s amazingly gorgeous. You’re all probably 700 lbs. with acne and ninja turtle t-shirts.

  41. patsy

    I don’t think SJP is really all that beautifull, but in interviews she comes across as a really nice person. She has worked very hard to escape her blue-collar background but didn’t forget where she came from and she is involved in many charities, so I still like her better than many other celebrities. She is still married to her husband, tries to be a good mom and doesn’t get ‘accidentally’ photographed topless or without underwear or completely drunk. She does not come across as dishonest or selling her private life to the tabloids (at least she is not on the cover of some rag every other week, and then compaining about how intrusive they are). She behaves in a more classy way than most other actors and actresses who mostly come from more affluent middle class background. I think she is more down to earth, more like the girl next door – and a better role model – than many other female celebrities. So while I don’t find her extremely attractive, and I don’t find her nearly as irritating as some other ” overrated in the beauty department” actresses.

  42. Spence

    Only the ugly defend the ugly?
    Correction: ONLY THE UGLIEST mock others as being ugly! And notice how fat men will make fun of so-called fat women?
    SJP is beautiful and classy. You fools are soooo used to implants and surgery freaks you don’t know what real beauty is!

  43. spence

    And besides- those who keep hankering about her nose ARE ALL BIGOTS!
    I can’t but help the way you “Maxin” dudes make fun of female Jewish stars’ noses and single them as “ugly”. Does everybody have to have non-existant waspy features?

  44. ross


    It amazes me that she has become a sex icon in USA. Shows how strong the power of selling a personality can be. Furthermore, it also is indicative of the level of denial we share in US society. To classify her in simple terms: would you say she looks more like the the witch from the north or the wicked witch of the south in the Wizard of Oz?

    She is not UGLY persay but when we are supposed to classify her in the same ranks as a SEX symbol, the contrast is quite repulsive in comparison to the lies of Pamela Anderson and such.

    I think women love her more than men, since she lowers the standards of the Sex symbol classification intensly. Millions of women worldwide have suddenly become subjectivly HOT in comparison.

    Beauty is subjective, like big and small. An elephant is big subjectively when the subject is a dog…But when the subject is the Sears Tower, an elephant is small.

    As men, we need a hero like this…and not one that has money, but a poor ass ugly man that is rammed down the throats of society as a HUNK. Oh BTW, as long as Im making a wish…please dont make it yet another 14 year old looking boy twit like timberlake or something. Make him 40 something looking just like SJP.

    Hell, while were looking at it lets change the standards of rich, famous, smart, successful so that I can live in a false reality that my society supports thus becomming real on a different level. A level of denial that is comfortable no matter how skewed it may be, just like Jessicas “hottest women” status.


  45. dodger

    C’mon guys…she’s not gorgeous but why wouldn’t your ide her???

  46. dodger

    C’mon guys…she’s not gorgeous but why wouldn’t your ride her???

  47. dodger

    You guys are cruel..I bet she’s a great ride.

  48. dodger

    You guys are cruel..I bet she’s a great ride.

  49. Mary

    I think she is beautiful. She’s got amazing hair & eyes and plus she’s a size negative 00000. Like people said she comes across as nice. She managed to excape her blue collar background to becoming amazingly rich. What’s not to like? At least she seems like a real human being!! The movie was porn for fashion addicts—-I love it. Even though I don’t agree with the premise…there’s absolutely nothing wrong with a pretty girl going after a rich guy…..

  50. Baby Boo

    Whatever she is such a beautiful person so yall all can back the freak up ….ya’ll are just jealous!! And Iam sure some of ya’ll ain’t to cute yourselves!

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