Sarah Jessica Parker is just plain ugly

The Superficial / September 25, 2007

Mother of God, is it possible for someone to be less attractive? I don’t get how any man could find her the least bit arousing. Even if solid gold coins shot out of her ears during sex, there’s no way I’d go near Sarah Jessica Parker. Sure I’d be filthy rich, but my wang would never talk to me again. And it’s important for the two of us to maintain open lines of communication. I need to know when he’s got to pee, and he needs to know when I’m drunk. So he’s ready for some mystery spelunking. Will he be in a woman tonight or a bagel? Therein lies the mystery.