Sarah Jessica Parker is just plain ugly

September 25th, 2007 // 309 Comments
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Mother of God, is it possible for someone to be less attractive? I don’t get how any man could find her the least bit arousing. Even if solid gold coins shot out of her ears during sex, there’s no way I’d go near Sarah Jessica Parker. Sure I’d be filthy rich, but my wang would never talk to me again. And it’s important for the two of us to maintain open lines of communication. I need to know when he’s got to pee, and he needs to know when I’m drunk. So he’s ready for some mystery spelunking. Will he be in a woman tonight or a bagel? Therein lies the mystery.

superficial

  1. Lauren

    First

  2. Greg

    Secodn

  3. AtriumXP

    I’ll take the bagel over her, too :p

  4. nope

    SECOND! Damn that felt good… but it took me so long to type that I am probably like 3rd by now! :(

  5. Cuntyface

    Second. What a horse-faced bloke. About as attractive as a bucket of AIDS blood with a dead, cancerous baby floating on the top.

  6. billy

    third!?

  7. IWONKY

    I agree – she is quite the hag

  8. adeliza

    Another person that I just can’t figure out how they attained any celebrity or fame at all.

    How did she get that “Sex in the City” gig? I would say “who is she fucking” to get that role, but who would fuck her?

    God, poor Matthew Broderick. I wonder if that is another celebrity sham marriage. The studios made them get hitched.

  9. Sam Hain

    She looks like a foot. I wonder what her cooch looks like? Probably looks like a bunion.

  10. IWONKY

    that herpes by her lip seems to be getting bigger

  11. Bam

    ugggh is that close-up really that necessary?

    i have never seen that show, but i’m pretty sure it epitomizes everything that’s wrong in this world or at least nyc.

  12. Sarah

    I always thought SJP was overrated looking.
    But considering her age, she looks pretty good. Plus she has a body most women in their 20′s don’t have.

  13. IWONKY

    That guy behind her in the main photo is thinking, “That’s Sarah Jessica Parker???? I heard she was good lookin’…what gives???!!!!!!”

  14. @12 Sarah, is it a body they want? I don’t see anything to write home about

  15. dood

    shes not beautiful, but I really just think she’s average looking. And for being in her 40s is in really good shape.

  16. jrzmommy

    Let’s see…frigid, horse, dyke, hag. Yup, I still remember the Sex in the City chicks!

  17. ssdd

    She looks like she was meant to be a man and something went terribly wrong. Ugly whore. Also she is a good example of a terrible actress.
    What a complete fucking train wreck.

  18. jetta

    Is it me or does every like woman actress ave ugly vainy hands like that ?
    cause they all have it (plus looking manly at that :P )

    WHat causes that?
    CAn working out cause this to have that on your hands or somthing..
    Everone I seen Have scary hands :(
    damn nowI’m scard of my hands ..(not vainy .. ooh thats a clos e one :D )

  19. V

    So, this is the set for the new Francis the Talking Mule movie, isn’t it?

  20. itspat

    The guy in the background (top pic) is pretending he’s licking her.

  21. Denitsa

    she’s always been ugly to me…don’t understand why she got that role in Sex and the city…i just don’t get it

  22. Raquel

    Her “fabulous” taste in clothing has only one real message: look here, not up at horseface.

  23. Ted from LA

    Sex in the City??? It must be a very dimly lit city with a lot of alcohol. I won’t touch any of them (except the woman in the white dress). She should throw that hat box up in the air like Mary Tyler Moore.

  24. Oops, I crapped my pants!

    I wonder who would win in a fight between these ladies, and a very hungry grizzly bear. I have my suspicions, but we should make the fight happen anyway, just to be sure.

  25. supes

    Is Twisted Sister making a comeback?

  26. sparkle

    i still think charlottes the best looking of the bunch

  27. schack

    oh my god, i’m a young professional with no interests other than money and status.

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  28. Riotboy

    She smokes TOO MUCH.

    /not something you wanna see first thing in the morning fo sho

  29. rusty shackleford

    Hortense,……the mule faced doll!

  30. schack

    i’m pretty sure that’s what these “friends” are thinking.

    p.s. where is the ugly one with psychological “problems,” religious aspirations, satirical condemnations, i.e. the one actually capable of love.

    oh right, and no one wonders why they’re forty and still sole searching.

  31. whinny

    Ladies and gentlemen, Dee Snyder.

  32. The_Squizz

    Does anyone remember Ruth Buzzi??

  33. El-Coyote

    Matthew Broderick…. How low have you fallen brother… how low….

  34. veggi

    This brings up a good point. What if mens dicks could talk……

  35. Katie

    Looks like a fuckin’ dude! Ugliest bitch in Hollywood, next to Rosie O’Donnell.

  36. Hemlock Queen

    Please. She’s not the eighth wonder of the world, but I wouldn’t say she’s ugly. Just not classically beautiful. And it’s called getting old. All of you assholes will be doing it soon, including me, and we’ll all be pissed about it. So unless you kill yourself or poop off in the bathroom doing some blow, then I guess your looking at another mystery of life. Geriatrics.

  37. Hemlock Queen

    @34, Veggi. Would they reveal all of the std’s they’ve caught? eeewww.

  38. Lauren

    She looks like a heavy smoker..I honestly don’t think she’s anything too hideous. It’s just the mole and the bags under her eyes that make her unappealing..I think her eyes are beautiful. This is just a really unflattering photo…anyone ever consider that people can become famous and get acting gigs for reasons other than their appearance?

  39. Mdizdiz

    Rough…Rode hard put away wet.

  40. amy

    How did she get my Grandmas pantsuit?

  41. veggi

    Seriously, the stories they would tell…… gross….

    now think about if mens dicks were on their foreheads! ha! That would save us some time and effort.

  42. steve

    LMAO #31 and #32 Awesome.

    and #36, thanks for letting us know what you must look like. only the ugly defend the ugly. We really don’t want to know what you look like now.

  43. Hemlock Queen

    lol, male unicorns. Two sexy time bits for the price of one!

  44. Sam Hain

    @36 Hemlock Queen..
    speak for yourself human.

  45. SheIsGross

    The Superficial – Because I’M Ugly?!?!?!?!

  46. Hemlock Queen

    #42 ONLY the UGLY put down the ugly. Douche.

  47. jenna

    I bet she looks better than most overweight blobby american women so stop complaining. And men…they are in general quite ugly so they should be lucky to have a girl like Sarah!!

  48. Ted from LA

    Veggi,
    Men’s dicks can talk. Mine talks to me all the time. He’s a complete idiot.

  49. BIGsteamyONE

    She looks like she used house paint for make up .Needs another coat , and some weather proofing ,,, she looks really weathered as it is ……YIKES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!…not a spring chicken, more like an old horse that should be out to pasture.

  50. gerard Vandenberg

    Well girl, see it this way: YOU CAN’T HELP IT!!

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