Sarah Palin’s Writing A Book About Christmas

March 12th, 2013 // 43 Comments
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Sarah Palin may have been the second person since Glenn Beck to be too full of shit for FOX News, but that doesn’t mean she can’t run like hell with their “War on Christmas” schtick by releasing her new book, “A Happy Holiday IS a Merry Christmas.” A book that pleads for America to celebrates Jesus’ birthday the way our forefathers intended. “Man, fuck those other religions,” Sarah Palin apparently believes were their exact words. Via The New York Times:

HarperCollins announced Monday that the book will criticize the “over-commercialism” and “homogenization” of Christmas and call for a renewed emphasis on the religious importance.
“Amidst the fragility of this politically correct era, it is imperative that we stand up for our beliefs before the element of faith in a glorious and traditional holiday like Christmas is marginalized and ignored,” Palin said in a statement released through her publisher. “This will be a fun, festive, thought provoking book, which will encourage all to see what is possible when we unite in defense of our faith and ignore the politically correct Scrooges who would rather take Christ out of Christmas.”

That’s right, Sarah Palin’s criticizing the “over-commercialism” of Christmas by selling a book about Christmas during the most commercially profitable time of the year. She also calls liberals “Scrooges” which is odd because the end of that book involves Scrooge learning the true meaning of Christmas and caring for the poor, so yeah, she nailed us commies. Amazingly, she doesn’t advocate for anything as stupid and unconstitutional as forcing schools and public institutions to revere the one true Republican Jesus, may his sweatshop-made sandals crush the spines of the poor and gay-trodden:

According to the publisher, the book will advocate “reserving Jesus Christ in Christmas — whether in public displays, school concerts (or) pageants.”

D’oh! Okay, I know the kneejerk reaction here will be to point out facts such as Christmas originally being a Pagan holiday that Christianity basically stole and bastardized, or that writing “X-Mas” is not “taking Christ out of Christmas” but using the Greek letter Chi which has stood for Christ since fucking forever, but it’s not even worth it. All these people are going to hear is, “Let my Jew Santa rape your Jesus baby on top of Christmas dinner then steal your money so black people can have food stamps.” Trust me, I even tried puppets.

Photos: Getty, Splash News

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  1. Cock Dr

    Palin’s target demographic would buy American flag fingerpaintings if they were told she did them herself.

  2. Sarah Palin Porno Nailin Paylin Lisa Ann
    Commented on this photo:

    This Sarah Paylin is hot and really a good fuck,see pornos. Who is Sarah Palin?

  3. In related news, HarperCollins just announced that it will stop producing legitimate fiction and non-fiction titles to focus on the more profit-rich indulgent screeds of former personalities who are now marginalized non-entities (get ready, Biebs).

  4. Fish, I find your choice of these pictures outrageous! What a baseless and demeaning comparison! As far as I know, Sarah Paylin has NEVER quit in the middle of a job.

  5. Jethro Bubba

    If murcan english was good enuff for jesus then by golly its good enuff for me!

  6. Dick Hell

    Is this a sequel or a prequel to the book she wrote about Easter which inspired the award-winning film “Nailin’ Palin”..?

  7. it was a dark and stormy night 600 years ago when santa claus delivered a present to the virgin mary and her entitled carpenters union organizer joe seph. mary opened the present and inside was baby jesus and an ak47. mary took the ak47 and shot joe seph in the head because unions are part of the problem and because mary had the right to stand her ground.

  8. I look forward to all the well thought out political debate that is going to blossom in the comments.

    “FUCK YOU SOCIALIST OBAMA LOVER!”
    “NO, FUCK YOU YOU FASCIST NEO-CON NAZI!”
    ‘GAY MARRIAGE”
    “FOUNDING FATHERS”
    “BUSH”
    “CLINTON”

    …….end scene.

    • anatomaous

      “Palin’s target demographic would buy American flag fingerpaintings if they were told she did them herself.”

      “If murcan english was good enuff for jesus then by golly its good enuff for me!”

      “This is giving me a space boner right now”

      “One difference being no one watches MSNBC, whereas your favorite cable news station has hordes of open mouthed shit gobbling followers.”

      “All these people are going to hear is, “Let my Jew Santa rape your Jesus baby on top of Christmas dinner then steal your money so black people can have food stamps.” Trust me, I even tried puppets”

  9. Anonymous

    “the politically correct Scrooges who would rather take Christ out of Christmas.”

    I take it she isn’t aware that Christmas is nothing but the Winter Solstice (Saturnalia) and the celebration of the Roman god Saturn, right?

  10. Deacon Jones

    I hooked up with a 50 some year old in a white sweater with an American flag stitched on it in a bar in Maryland once.

    That’s all i got.

  11. Sarah Palin Porno Nailin Paylin Lisa Ann
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    This is giving me a space boner right now

  12. If anyone ever wrote a book about the real meaning of Christmas, it would end up being a small pamphlet that just says “Toys-R-Us gets kinda stabby at this time of year.”

  13. Tom

    If you would like to discuss networks that are full of shit, let’s move on over to MSNBC for a moment.

    • One difference being no one watches MSNBC, whereas your favorite cable news station has hordes of open mouthed shit gobbling followers.

      • schmidtler

        and in related news, a recent poll shows that Bill O’Reilly is considered the most trusted major network news anchor in the USA. In other related news, most Americans are idiots.

      • Tom

        I’ll be the first to agree with you that “most American’s are idiots” because it explains many things:

        Jersey Shore being on TV beyond the pilot.
        Dancing with the Stars.
        American Idol.
        Justin Bieber.
        Electing Barack Obama TWICE!
        Electing Bush Twice!

        Personally, I am looking forward to seeing the USA crumble into financial ruin. It will be survival of the fittest, and there are very few that will make it past the first two weeks of having to rely on themselves to survive.

        Now that would be great TV!

  14. Inner Retard

    So, to reignite the love of a holiday about love and understanding she tells the world to fuck off because they celebrate said holiday wrong. Can’t wait for volume 2 and how Thanksgiving is really about dieting.

  15. That last paragraph in the post left me gasping for air.

  16. Somebody’s desperate for another 15 minutes of fame. I don’t think she was too crazy for Fox News, she just became irrelevant. No gives a fuck about her anymore.

    That woman that played her in the porn movie is probably more popular than she is.

  17. cc

    I guess she ran through all the money she scammed from her pool of simpleton’s and needed to go back to the well (of drool) again.

  18. I’m working under the assumption that Sean Parnell will be writing the second half of the book.

  19. SFRowGuy

    Title: ‘How I shot Santa’?

  20. It’s altermate title “How I learned to take a wonderful holiday like Christmas and fill it with anger, hatred, and bigotry”

  21. “…so every Christmas Eve you can see a Jew, dressed like Santa Claus, flying from Russia right over our house. That way we get the best shots at bringing that Commie bastard down to the ground!”

  22. it'smeain't

    Liberals ARE absolutely stupid. You believe in subjugation of the populace to your whims. Conservatives do the same thing, from a different perspective. Only Libertarians understand humanity. You’re all a bunch of stupid dicks.

    • “libruls” are usually driven by the hard questions of the political, economic, sociological and cultural questions driving the human animal and thus are FORCED to try to figure out what is the logical and rationale answers are to those difficult and complex questions about the political, economic, social and cultural human creature.

      libertarians have it much simpler: like an 8 year-old: IT’S ALL ABOUT *ME*!!!!!

      • Wasn’t there some backassward town in a red state on the news not long ago who let a man’s house burn down because he hadn’t paid for fire services? Because that’s how libertarian and understanding of humanity those fuckers had become. Libertarians turn into bleeding heart fucking librools the minute they’re up for the tax-funded services. Reminds me also of the old batshit whore Ayn Rand taking Social Security dollars after making a career of villifying others for doing the same. These motherfuckers are pieces of hot stinking shitworks.

      • anatomaous

        Even better, the fire department showed up and protected his neighbor’s property from any damage caused by the fire. It works like this. The town, which has a fire department, offers services to the rural country in which it exists. They charge a small fee so that the citizens of the town aren’t forced to subsidize fire protection coverage for the whole county. If you choose to not pay the fee they won’t put out your house fire, but they will show up to protect your neighbor’s property who was wise enough to pay the small fee.

    • If you’d like to see true libertarianism in action, I might suggest Somalia. Everyone for themselves and if you can’t stop me, I can do whatever I want to you. It’s a nice theory, but not really viable.

      • it'smeain't

        TALKING POINT. Dems got you all fired up about Somalia, eh? Wake up. What about Somalia is remotely libertarian. Look it up and get back to me. And while you’re at it, look up “libertarianism”. It’s not the anarchy you think it is. But you only know what Rachel Maddow tells you, right Uncle Phil?

      • Everybody has the CHOICE to be a libertarian when you exist in the modern WEALTHY industrial society, but let’s see how much of a “libertarian” you CHOOSE to be when you are a poor dirt farmer in India or East Africa.

  23. If Christmas isn’t spelled “X-mas,” I’ll know this old puta used a ghost writer.

  24. OK my librooool compadres, I’ve got me another glass of wine in me and have run of bleeding heart fucking posting words. Have at the next bubbasaurus cause I’m hitting the sack with the feminazi loving hot ass man lyin nakids in my bed now CHEERS!1

  25. Sarah Palin Porno Nailin Paylin Lisa Ann
    Throb the Wonder Mule
    Commented on this photo:

    This is why ‘Merica is great !
    Fuck the gun grabbers and BOOBS.

  26. Rapsutin's Evil Twin

    A few years back, a strip club in Chicago, the AdmiralX, had a “fund-raiser” for $arah, featuring an evening of strippers done up to look like her. Let’s see, we support a woman who might run for President by watching women who look like her pole-dance and hump the floor while naked, in the name of “family values.”

    Republicans confuse me. Time for a drink or five.

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