Sarah Palin Used To Do Coke, Black Guys

The Superficial | September 14, 2011 - 2:06 pm

Putting her opposition to Obama in perspective, Sarah Palin reportedly banged basketball star, and more importantly to her fanbase, not-white guy Glen Rice shortly before marrying Todd and becoming snowmobiling cokeheads. So basically the most believable shit you’ll ever read in your life. RadarOnline reports:

The book, which is due to be published on September 20, alleges that just one year before she eloped with Todd, Sarah enjoyed a steamy interracial one-night stand with 6-foot-8 basketball great, Glen Rice. Sarah is said to have met the sportsman in 1987 when he was playing a college basketball tournament in Alaska and she was working as a sports reporter for local station KTUU.
The book also charges that before she became Alaska Governor, both Sarah and Todd dabbled in cocaine use and claims she was once seen snorting the drug off an overturned 55-gallon oil drum while snowmobiling with friends.

I love how this book tries to portray Sarah Palin as such an out-of-control, oil-loving Scarface that she feels the need to snort blow off a fucking drum of crude. Granted, it could all be completely true because who doesn’t love black penis? but there seems to be a lot of reaching going on here. Notably the parts where nothing gets shot from a helicopter while palming out another baby in front of a nine month old. You’ve got to know your characters, is all I’m saying. That said, I may have added captions presupposing we live in a world where Sarah Palin secretly craves the deep chocolate with a side of pure Colombian. You’ve got to reach for that low-hanging fruit, is also something I say.

Photos: Getty