Sarah Palin Used To Do Coke, Black Guys

September 14th, 2011 // 193 Comments

Putting her opposition to Obama in perspective, Sarah Palin reportedly banged basketball star, and more importantly to her fanbase, not-white guy Glen Rice shortly before marrying Todd and becoming snowmobiling cokeheads. So basically the most believable shit you’ll ever read in your life. RadarOnline reports:

The book, which is due to be published on September 20, alleges that just one year before she eloped with Todd, Sarah enjoyed a steamy interracial one-night stand with 6-foot-8 basketball great, Glen Rice. Sarah is said to have met the sportsman in 1987 when he was playing a college basketball tournament in Alaska and she was working as a sports reporter for local station KTUU.
The book also charges that before she became Alaska Governor, both Sarah and Todd dabbled in cocaine use and claims she was once seen snorting the drug off an overturned 55-gallon oil drum while snowmobiling with friends.

I love how this book tries to portray Sarah Palin as such an out-of-control, oil-loving Scarface that she feels the need to snort blow off a fucking drum of crude. Granted, it could all be completely true because who doesn’t love black penis? but there seems to be a lot of reaching going on here. Notably the parts where nothing gets shot from a helicopter while palming out another baby in front of a nine month old. You’ve got to know your characters, is all I’m saying. That said, I may have added captions presupposing we live in a world where Sarah Palin secretly craves the deep chocolate with a side of pure Colombian. You’ve got to reach for that low-hanging fruit, is also something I say.

Photos: Getty

superficial

  1. Frank Burns

    Gee, and here I was thinking lesbian pothead.

  2. SuperficialAdmin

    whats wrong with sucking on big black cocks?

  3. John McCain

    It’s all true.

  4. this bitch is a disgusting human being. i would fuck the shit out of her.

  5. Sarah Palin
    your mom
    Commented on this photo:

    You’re a genius, and I love you.

  6. Cam

    At least she’ll finally have something in common with the rest of DC.

  7. Ted

    It’s the Tea Party, not the Coffee Party.

  8. Buddy the Elf

    So famous people arent supposed to have grown up partying like the rest of us?
    Yawn. If she’s isnt naked its not news.

  9. This has got to hurt half your readership’s heads.

  10. Its true, I was there. She blew me after Glen but before Billy Clinton & it was shrooms not coke.

  11. JohnYaYa

    It is a delight to see you idiots get yourselves worked into such a frenzy over Sarah Palin.
    For some reason you people feel so threatened by her, it’s a ridiculous obsession.

    • Venom

      No one is threatened by her, not even the rest of the GOP.
      Notice she won’t actually run for anything or go to any debates.
      She won’t even go anywhere else on TV by Hannity’s show on Fox.
      She just sticks to going on tour and taking money from ignorant hicks like you that show up to her events so that she can cash in.
      Bachmann is a whackjob, but at least she has the balls to go up on stage and debate. I can respect her for that.

    • rican

      JohnYAYA, no offense but when you start by calling someone an idiot, ignorant may be one of the least offensive comebacks. BTW, I don’t hate Palin or think she’s as moronic as they say, but her shrilling decibels make me want to choke her and beat her up (with my penis).

      • dude!

        How’s that hopey changey think working for all you libtard losers? What? The economy seems to be tanking and the great anointed one is really an empty suit? Yeah, thought so.

        Shheesshhh. Leave Sarah alone. It is a free country. Must be a slow news day for the smelly fish to post this crap. Bigger fish fry to get this country back on the right track.

        Grow the F@(K up!

      • ro

        You say: Grow the F@(K up?

        When you are name calling. Losers? Smelly fish?

        Dude! take your own advice you silly fool.

  12. taco flavored kisses

    hmm…a sideline reporter who may have been a coke slut? how shocking

  13. Soviet Snow

    Nice little discrediting campaign performed by the lefties in this country. Where was this when half-breed was running for office. Doesn’t his past warrant a topic at least once a week. Oh wait, his one of your and can do no wrong.

    • Harry Doyle

      ^ This.

    • Polk

      Huh? Barack admitted doing coke in the past. At least he’s honest about it. Let’s see if Sarah fesses up, or lies about it instead.

      • RoboZombie

        Just like GWB did…

      • welcome back carter

        …and slick willie – you don’t get a bulbous rudolph nose outta nowhere – and his brother was a dealer who got busted while his bro was guvnah – oh and how about during his re-election bid – he held out for months before his medical records were finally released so he could dry out!
        oh and re: obama – he is more arab than black so all this half breed shit doesn’t make any sense…(former?) cokehead and commie, friends with domestic terrorists, no birth cert, no college transcripts, nothing published as “editor” of harvard law review, sure, but half breed: no.

  14. Cardinal Fang

    More celebrity up-skirts please. Less politics. Because knowing your bias takes the fun out of celebrity whacking off here.

  15. Dagens24

    I have no issue with Palin acting this way; who hasn’t banged some random and then done a line? The issue here is that she would demonize someone for doing the same. I’m saying this because you know we’ll be hearing Fox News’ whinning about the ‘liberal media’ attacking Palin about this while giving others a free pass or championing them (such as Obama who admitted to cocaine use). Once again, the difference is Obama wouldn’t attack someone for these actions where as Palin would totally demonize them and launch attacks on the persons’ morality, judgement and character.

    • Harry Doyle

      Do you have proof she demonized someone else, or is it just your opinion?

      • LJ

        Just glad I wasn’t drinking coffee when I read your comment…the spit take would have destroyed my keyboard.

        It’s just so cute when you guys get all..”I know you are but what am I”, “Prove it or I’ll pee my pants”.

        Come on out of the closet, no one will think the worse of you.

      • Lil Jeezy

        Nice.

      • butt trumpet

        HA! That’s all I can say to that. You want “proof” she’s demonized someone? Where have you been since she became a fame whore? Name one positive thing she’s ever said about the President.

    • Albert Einstein

      Hey butt trumpet; name one positive thing this despicable failure of a president has done- that warrants anything but condemnation.Put down the kool-aid sippy-cup first.

    • PFKZONI

      Dagen24, who has she demonized? The only demonization I’ve ever witnessed was of her and her family from the moment McCain chose her as his running mate, and in ways that clearly show “liberals” to be nothing but hypocrites. What are you libs so afraid of? That Genesis will be taught in science class instead of Evolution? That won’t happen. Besides, very little Evolution is taught to our kids even with libs in control (and you are aware that school curriculums are decided locally and not by the White House, aren’t you?). Is it that abortions may become illegal and you guys will no longer be off the hook? Sarah has admitted in her book that she thought of getting one when she found out her son had Down’s. That’s pretty damn honest. If the Supreme Court ever decides to strike down Roe then it will be up to the states, and whenever conservative state politicians have tried in the past to get amendments to their state constitutions outlawing or greatly restricting abortions the people have always resoundingly said no when voting on it. Besides, you people seem far more interested in anuses. No need for abortion with that. So again, what are you worried about? Here is a strong woman who cleaned up REPUBLICAN corruption in the Alaskan government, demanded that the oil companies pay royalties to every Alaskan citizen (and the check goes into the CITIZENS’ mailboxes, not the government’s), had a son in the military, a pregnant teenager, and a handicapped child. Seems like a liberal’s nonjudgmental, non-hypocritical, been-there-done-that dream woman.

      The only thing I can come up with is the fact that Sarah Palin is a self-reliant woman who sees the harm in “social justice” programs that promote envy and spite toward the producers and creators of this country by instilling the belief in certain vulnerable groups that they are stupid, helpless victims who deserve their “fair” share of what other people earn. She’s against high taxes, wasteful spending, and a big government filled with mediocre, dimwitted narcissists micromanaging our lives because according to them we are not capable of doing it ourselves. These politicians are the “chosen ones” who went into “public” service because they are too ugly and talentless to get fame and fortune any way other than taking the money someone earned and giving it to someone who didn’t in return for votes. This entire mortgage crises that has caused all of this suffering was created entirely because of “social justice” programs, and the ones who got rich off it are entirely “liberal”.

  16. Venom

    I don’t care for Palin, but even I think this sounds a little suspect.
    Now Bristol in the other hand, you know she is down for whatever.

  17. Bachman

    Who?

  18. HAH!

    So? Who hasn’t done coke & black guys? Snooze.

  19. Sarah Palin
    Grinder
    Commented on this photo:

    Once U go BLACK … it makes yo brain go WACK! — Zup Ho?

  20. Sarah Palin
    Commented on this photo:

    “Slow Jams”… *chuckle, snort*

  21. clark kent

    Is it wrong that I want to see her topless?

  22. Rick

    On the upside, Trig just said his first complete sentence. On the downside, it was “Mommy’s a coal burner.”

  23. Donald Trump

    I’m more surprised that she didn’t snort the line off the black guys dick. Move over Sarah, lemme show you how it’s done!

  24. Sarah Palin
    guy rossi
    Commented on this photo:

    “OH MY GAWSH!!!!! OH MY!!!! I’m moist! It’s Mister Markus!”

  25. Sarah Palin
    Tracey
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh Oh Shit, did I really write there? Damn, there goes that gosh darn President thing.
    Fuck stop posting her.

  26. TyroneBiggums

    “and more importantly to her fanbase, not-white guy”

    Democrats are not her fanbase. Get your story straight.

    Google “Racist History of the Democratic Party.”

    • jack

      Yeah, we all know, the party of Lincoln and all that. Then to win elections the Republicans focused on elderly conservatives and “small town” values, and for some reason all the pigment drained out of their tent.

      • TyroneBiggums

        Favorite response of the Lib-Tard……….”The Southern Strategy.”

        That being the case, please explain why almost ALL of the bigoted Democrats that voted against the Civil Rights Act remained with the Democratic Party……..including Al Gore, Sr., as well as Klan Member and West Virginia senator (and proud Democrat) Robert Byrd.

        Try facts instead of fiction.

      • Wendy

        Such angry, bitter, resentful voices on the conservative side, all because the U.S. is no longer a white Christian nation. Try to find a hobby or something because the country’s demographics are what they are and there’s no turning back.

    • TyroneBiggums

      @ Wendy

      Are you retarded? You should attempt to use some facts in your responses. BTW, I’m black, moron.

      The Democratic Party has abused people of color for years. Too bad you believe everything you hear on CNN.

      • rican

        white guilt again, such shame.

      • Albert Einstein

        yep; it’s all deflection and name-calling (first) by the llibtards.. until you call them on their obvious ludicrous hypocrisy.. then it’s all; “I know you are, but what am I?” they drink up the swill spewed by the lame-stream media- for the democrat party.. and think they’re intelligent for falling in line like sheep. sad.

      • PFKZONI

        I love you Tyrone.

  27. Sarah Palin
    guy rossi
    Commented on this photo:

    ” I DEMAND SOUL POLE UP IN MY HOLE(clap clap clap) !”
    “You betch ya!”

  28. stevebeagle

    big deal

  29. Cock Dr

    “once seen snorting the drug off an overturned 55-gallon oil drum while snowmobiling with friends.”
    If this is true then I hate her less.
    Because when you live in Alaska I think you should be given a pass to do hard drugs.

  30. Sarah Palin
    gobsmacker
    Commented on this photo:

    How could we ever elect a politician who dabbled in cocain that would be insane ….oh, what….. Obama did? Never mind

  31. Andy

    It’s a shame that she didn’t enter the race (her formal announcement won’t matter, she’s not in, it’s too late in terms of campaign donors). It would have been fun to watch all the mainline GOPers squirm while Palin sucked up all the media coverage (as a substitute for coke and black dicks, apparently). Perry teabagged Bachmann when he entered the race and her off-the-wall comments fell off the radar. It’s a shame – we need more GOP crackpot boobage in this campaign.

    • Pippy Longcockings

      I think Perry’s all the boob we need in this race. That fucker looks like a child-molesting game show host.

      • Albert Einstein

        that’s certainly an intelligent comment. typical liberal; all speculation, name-calling, vilification for the way someone LOOKS. you won the prize for being the biggest idiot today on the entire interwebs.

  32. Sarah Palin
    My Left Nut
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice rack.

  33. rican

    Doing coke while snowballing friends? What’s next, ass to mouth?

  34. lo lo

    So Sarah Palin (as much as i hate the bitch) is my girl now? I’m a little shocked and appalled but I guess I’ll just have to move on and accept it. But wait, I can’t, because she’s a poli-sluticus.

  35. lo lo

    you’re a retardis (geekologie original) and you get worked up over the superficial, which he only gets off to, so…doing us all a favor.

  36. Steelerchick

    Well I actually heard that she snorted coke from an outhouse while snowmobiling with friends.

  37. Can

    What book is this?

  38. Pippy Longcockings

    GodDAMN she has a nice rack, esp for a crazy neo-con soccermom stupid fucking bitch from hell! I’d LOVE to see her sucking coke off huge black cocks and then getting DP’d hard by them!

  39. white guy

    Apparently, once ya go black, it is entirely possible to go back.

  40. OnTheRealThough

    I would gladly fuck the shit out of Sarah Palin today.

    Must be cool to be Glen Rice right now with all these tea party douches almost jumping off of roofs nationwide.

    • Albert Einstein

      “all these tea party … jumping off roofs”?? What? Where? you’re extremely misinformed. The tea party people are saving this nation. None are jumping off roofs. Next time, try to utilize a fact or two.

      • Flip

        Hey Einstein-
        Pretty bold taking that moniker when you’re so obviously inferior to the namesake. Your excessive & superfluous rants come off more as delightfully unintended hyperbole than the highly informed political zealot you are trying so desperately to portray. OK, go look all those big words up then take it down a notch…

  41. Boo

    Everyonhe likes a little cock and coke now and then. Just ask Obama.

  42. SteveG

    Our Next President,

  43. Whew. Here I thought I’d wasted $18.99 when I purchased the “Poundin’ Palin 2: Welcome to the Anal Orofice,” Only to find her getting rectally destroyed by Cummander in Cheeks Bigcok Orgasma. I thought, this isn’t realistic, Sarah Palin would never do a black man. But now I realize she would. Thank you for this new information. As soon as my wife gets home work and goes to sleep, I’m going to retrieve PP2:WAO from my secret porn stash underneath the spare tire in her trunk (where I know she’ll never look).

  44. Billy Corman

    There’s a developing story that Michele Bachmann’s 23 “foster kids” are actually her’s from a tryst with Shawn Kemp.

  45. Plurp

    So then this makes Sarah Palin just as cool as the fomer cokehead/dealer and mediocre Harvard student and constitutional lawyer that is currently screwing up the country. You lefties should love her now, right?

    • RoboZombie

      We already had a coke-snorting(and draft dodging), stupid, bible-thumping replublitard in the White House. Don’t need another one.

      • Plurp

        And yet Bush was leaps and bounds a better president than the narcissistic, dumb, inarticulate, military protesting and avoiding, Harvard failure than the one you voted for. And can you explain how flying fighter jets in the National Guard is draft dodging? No, you can only praise the partial black, all ghetto dumbass in the White House.

      • rican

        white guilt, what a shame.

      • LJ

        Being AWOL (as in not reporting for over a year) from the National Guard is called Draft Dodging.

      • Venom

        Harvard failure?
        Last time I checked the Harvard Law Review is the most prestigious law journal in the country if not the world.
        Can you explain to me if he was the mediocre Harvard student you claim he was how he was able to become the president of that periodical?

        Last time I checked, the economy collapsed under Bush. We were losing 700,000 jobs a month and the stock market was at 6,000 points. Let’s not even mention the greatest terrorist act in our nation’s history happening under his watch. Or let’s not talk about starting a fake war in Iraq that killed over 4,000 of our soldiers and bankrupted this country.

        Under Obama, even with the Republicans voting no on everything, the stock market is double what Bush left it at, and we are no longer losing jobs every month. We captured and killed Bin Laden and have had major terrorist acts against our country happen. The auto industry in America that the Republicans wanted to die was saved and is now thriving.

        Yeah, Obama is doing such a terrible job….

      • Venom

        *had no major terrorist acts happen

      • Albert Einstein

        rican has nothing intelligent to say. only a pot calling the kettle black. dumb person’s response= ho-hum. … and LJ doesn’t know anything about word usage. AWOL is not draft-dodging. get a fucking brain. .. draft-dodging is not signing up in the first place.. but then, you morons insist that what is not- is.. because you said so.. because you don’t utilize intellect.. but instead anger and hollow invective meant to destroy those you hate. sad little people who can’t ever argue on the merits.

    • rican

      Hey Einstein, trying to hard to sound intelligent, wrong website. Here’s something smart 4 you – Blow me.

  46. catapostrophe

    Since your first sentence was virtually unintelligible as written, Fish, let me tell you what I think you were attempting to do:

    “… Sarah Palin reportedly banged basketball star and–more importantly, to her fanbase–not-white guy Glen Rice shortly before marrying Todd and becoming a snowmobiling cokehead.”

    The first part speaks for itself. And how can one person turn into “snowmobiling cokeheads,” no matter who she marries?

    The More You Know™

  47. it had to be said

    Glen Rice!?! All I can say is “Muck Fichigan” was just a T-shirt slogan, Sarah. You weren’t supposed to take it so literally.

  48. JC

    “…and then Paul Revere and The Raiders were just ringin’ those bells, doncha know, telling the Canadians that they wouldn’t take away our blow and throbbing black cocks, you betcha!”

  49. See Alice

    Now let’s hear what Barney Frank is doing .

  50. Mitch

    Big deal, Barack Obama used to do coke and black dudes too.

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