For those of you just waking up, Sandra Bullock has come out of seclusion and announced exclusively to People she’s filed for divorce from Jesse James. Not only that, she’s adopted 3 1/2 month old Louis Bardo Bullock from New Orleans who she plans to make Jewish because she hates Nazis not so much. I’m not even joking:
The magazine asked the question, “Were you aware of any interest [Jesse] may have had in white supremacy or Nazism?”
Bullock responded, “The photo shocked me and made me sad. This is not the man I married. This was stupid, this was ignorant. Racism, anti-Semitism, sexism, homophobia, anything Nazi and a boatload of other things have no place in my life.”
Bullock added, “And the man I married felt the same.”
As for her newly adopted African-American baby, Bullock told the magazine she arranged for the child to have a bris — the Jewish circumcision ceremony.
And Sandra Bullock made a Nazi sex tape. I didn’t believe it at first, but after all the ham-fisted baby shenanigans, I’m now 90% positive she’s on video telling Jesse James to “Holocaust” her ass because it controls the media and sucks the blood out of infants. There’s really no other way to interpret this.