Sandra Bullock Prepping Jesse James’ Kids For Their New Mommy

January 25th, 2011 // 38 Comments

As if Sandra Bullock hasn’t taken a large enough Swastika to the ass through this whole ordeal, she now has the privilege of explaining to Jesse James‘ kids that Kat Von D is going to be their mom now. Popeater reports:

“Sandra loves Sunny with all her heart and will always be in her life. However, she also knows that [Sunny] will have a new mommy soon and will do whatever she needs to do to make sure Jesse’s new wife and Sunny have a great relationship even if that means taking a step away,” a friend of the actress tells me.
… Sandra thought Jesse would never be able to hurt her again, but she was wrong,” an insider tells me. “When Jesse was in rehab it was Sandy who was a mother to his little girl. Despite what Jesse did, Sandra never walked away from Sunny.”

While all this sounds depressing, keep in mind Sunny’s mom is a porn star, so it’s not like she hasn’t been around questionable women all her life. In fact, we’ll probably laugh about this when she’s a lesbian stripper turned serial killer next year. “Ha, remember when your dad had sex with a Nazi and you had to move out of Sandra Bullock’s house? Ohmygod, I thought I was going to piss myself.”

Photos: Fame


  1. Smaug

    Phist, meoowww

  2. GravyLeg

    For all the fame and fortune surrounding her, that kid has had a pretty tough road… Wrong kind of fame and misused fortune…

  3. Kat Von D
    Commented on this photo:

    kinda surprise me that she’s actually pretty…with all those tattoo I would imagine her to be overweight and wearing leather all the time

  4. That sucks. Kat looks like she would tattoo her in the face just so she would get the name right everytime.

  5. Facebook Me

    So glad Jesse has his priorities straight when it comes to his daughter. Sandra was probably the only stable person in her life..

    • seth rogen's vagina

      that’s a sad state of affairs, when some dipwad has been who has made one stinko bomb movie after another, married a tattooed loser freak that she knew was a cheater before she even got involved with him, adopts a black baby from africa for the publicity, then shows up at the golden globes with a haircut that looks like a retarded blind meth head cut her hair is the ‘only stable person’ in the kids life. of course sandra bullock seems stable compared to the tatooed nazi freaks, but that’s not exactly a very high bar to clear.

      • me

        I think this is another PR stunt to make Sandra seem like an angel. She seems like one of those parents that would use the kid to get an edge. Bleck.

      • lins

        First of all, the term “has been” is typically used to refer to a person who USED TO BE famous and now can’t get work. A person with mininal intelligence can see that Sandra Bullock doesn’t even come close to “has-been” status. Sandra Bullock is not exactly my favorite (Miss Congeniality is horrifying), but she won her first Academy award for crying out loud – doesn’t exactly scream “has-been”. Second of all, where in Africa is Louisiana located? Because that’s where her son came from. “Black baby from Africa”? What an ignorant thing to say.

    • How stable could Sandra be if she picks a douche like Jesse to marry?

      • Facebook Me

        True that. Chalk it up to a momentary lapse of reason for Sandra.

      • teresa

        Love how the homewrecker Sandy ( uses the press and Jesse’s kids to: A. Get back at Jesse. B. Make herself look above all this.
        Sandy the homewrecker still wants Jesse; and also wants him fall at her feet although she’ll never forgive him. Jesse is the bad guy who gets all the blame, but Sandy took him for granted during their marriage. Jesse would take her back in a heartbeat, but she is hard hearted. Too bad, you lose because of it.Just another feminist bitch role model

  6. Dan

    I love these stories – my fucked up personal life is tame compared to them and it makes me feel better about myself.

    Thanks messed up celebrities!

  7. Crabby Old Guy

    You know, the more I read about these sorts of assclowns, the more I am tending to pull for al-gaeda.

    • Lady Blah Blah

      I hear ya.

      I ordered al-qaeda in a Mexican restaurant just to see what they’d say and the waiter said, “With pork, chicken, or beef?”

  8. Crabby Old Guy

    Or al-qaeda (fucking stupid foreign fucks with their fucking weird names). Fuck.

    • lol, I named my daughter Apple and my son Phineas. No weird names in my family. ;)

      • Alexandra

        Really? Well I named my son Assclown and my daughter Butterbean! Why not? It’s not like young children are known to humiliate and torture kids with weird qualities such as a stupid name their moron parents thought was cute.

  9. Scrote Phillips

    Don’t do it, Sandra! It all fits into their master plan…

    “Scheissekopf, bring me zum Nurnberger bratvurst, zum saurkraut, vun apple struedel, and freshly-skveezed orange juice!”
    “Herr, all ve have is zis Sunny von D orange drank!”
    “Well zen, get on ze radio to Berlin and tell zem ve need fresh oranges! If zey can’t do zat, tell zem ve vould be happy even if zey could just concentrate the juice!”

    I saw it on History Channel, I swear.

  10. WTF?

    I saw the lead picture in the article and for a moment i thought my fantasy had come true-innocent Sandra was now dressing like a whore, i was all ready to cuff my carrot then….awwww

  11. GravyLeg

    So basically as this drama unfolds… the kid is Anne Frank, Sandra Bullock is Miep Gies, Jesse is Adolf, and one of these tatooed freaks is Eva Braun.

  12. So, you are the inked whore my ex step mom the movie star warned me about? But you are not the tattooed herpetic nazi whore? Ok then, Hi Mom!

  13. It Serves You right

    Boo Hoo!

    Sandra had a chance to marry a decent guy and she goes and marries this pile o’shit with all of his baggage. Now she wants sympathy because of the collapse of her personal life . You got what you deserve because of your poor judgment.

  14. with the ratio of dowgrading between her and Sandra Bullock, Kat von D will tell the kids their next step mom will be a dead homeless woman.

  15. Kat Von D
    Commented on this photo:

    Skank. She ruined Miami ink and her ugly ass tattoos are awful. Her and Jesse deserve each other.

  16. hate to say it but this whore’s growing on me. bullock on the other hand hasn’t done it for me since speed..

  17. Fletch

    I don’t feel sorry for Sandra one bit. Typical chick that wants the bad boy and thinks she can change him. She got exactly what she deserved.

    • Shana

      It sounds like the dude was deceptive…She might have liked his rough exterior, but there are some men like that that actually are sweet. She just got a bad deal. He was two-faced, and probably put on a good act.

  18. Ari from Miami

    Fuckin’ Nazi Bitch…. Someone pass me my Uzi.

  19. darla

    OOOOhhh You Sandra haters are so cute . You are all so dense in your blatant jealousness of her. must be a hard life to all of you that while she travels the world , you guys are traveling to your nearest shopping mall. While she’s being paid million your just here doing your poor attempt in degrading here. Tsk Tsk.
    especially you crab- infested Seth Rogen’s Vagina. (what an idiotic lame attempt
    at an trashy -angst -ridden -username) if your going to hate her try at least to know her facts. HER BABY WAS NOT I REPEAT NOT BORN IN AFRICA YOU IDIOT HE WAS BORN IN NEW ORLEANS.. I pity you guys you all have a sad life.
    maybe if you all go back to school you’ll learn something useful.

    • Andriiya

      ^^^ PR baby’s nanny. I guess she really wants that raise.

    • teresa

      You really place A LOT of importance on money, as can easily be seen in your comments. Most of us are mature enough and do not envy celebrities or care how much money they have. Sandy has mountains of money and can travel the world as you say, but the expression on her face tells me she’s not happy. While I’m perfectly content just traveling 6 blocks to my grocery store, sorry to disappoint you. So what you are saying is that you value people for fame/money and that the rest of us are losers? That only your opinion counts and tho we are only stating the obvious and calling out the BS, are jealous? Go home and play with your dolls, Sandy.

  20. Kat Von D
    I'm on my Period.
    Commented on this photo:

    Kat’s been a self-righteous bitch ever since she quit drinking.

  21. wim

    she has enough kids to raise a brothel for PAED*PHILES?

  22. Kat Von D
    Commented on this photo:

    haha her hair looks cool in this picture:)

  23. Kat Von D
    Sapphire Radeon HD 7990
    Commented on this photo:

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