Samantha Ronson doesn’t do lesbian bars

September 23rd, 2008 // 72 Comments

Lindsay Lohan’s man-thing Samantha Ronson turned down an offer to host a benefit for Rubyfruit “a landmark lesbian watering hole” in New York. It turns out Sam doesn’t do gay clubs, according to Page Six:

“At first, her agent said it was $8,000 for the night plus airfare and hotel. Then, he was informed it was a gay and lesbian bar, we were told she doesn’t do those kind of venues. She doesn’t do gay and lesbian bars and clubs. I thought it was kind of strange considering she’s a lesbian. It would have been really great to have her in there and help . . . It’s really like betraying her sisters. It just doesn’t make sense.”

Curious move – except not really. You see, folks, these two aren’t a gay couple. For more evidence, pick up a copy of my upcoming exposé: “Lindsay Lohan is Not Really a Lesbian Because Samantha Ronson Has a Cock.” Okay, maybe it’s not so much an exposé as an illustrated children’s book, but you get the gist.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. FCGSZDFG

    FIRST LOSERS!

  2. jessy

    Second

  3. jessy

    Second

  4. jessy

    Second

  5. bigfatty

    Still top 10

  6. Cindy

    Weird. I assumed Lohan was the one with all the self-loathing.

  7. bigSTEAMYone

    who is that dude she is holding hands with ??? .

  8. Dirk the Magnanomous

    Lindsay is battling several other starlets to be the Media Whore Queen of Hollyweird.

    I’m sorry, but I don’t buy the lesbian thing at all. But the rumors and “unknown” keep her in the headlines, where you have to be to be Queen of the Media Whores, so it works.

    She is pulling an Ann Heche. And she will keep it up until it doesn’t get her the media attention that she so craves any more, then she will suddenly “turn straight” again and be seen with tons of men to keep everyone guessing there.

  9. for a “girl” she doesn’t even make a good looking dude. at least linds could hook up with a lipstick lesbian instead of that thing.

  10. ganzagwenie

    Apparently LiLo came out to Dr. Drew on loveline last night

  11. Al Bundy

    Why pay for the cow when you can get the milk for free?

  12. Daniel

    Samantha Ronson is just a cunt, a talentless cunt

  13. HughJorgan

    Could I give less of a fuck?

  14. pizza faced losers

    Ronson saying she won’t perform at gay bars is like Superficial readers saying they don’t approve of blowup dolls. Be honest about your lifestyle.

  15. Poontang

    Media Whore: Teh Lohan’s looking at the cameras in almost every shot.

    Deluded Wannabe: Ronson’s looking down in almost every shot, in a semi attempt to hide her face… unfortunately, she doesn’t realize that no one is interested in taking a photo of her, and that the cameras wouldn’t even be there if it wasn’t for teh Lohan.

  16. Michael Lohan

    I wonder if she gives my daughter a fist full of love?

  17. Blowup Doll Lover

    My blowup doll supports all inflatables, regardless of gender or sexual preference.

  18. Sofia

    So, wait then, having a cock makes you a dude? Or using one means your not a lesbian? Superficial writer, you have so so so much to learn about women. What a shame…another clueless guy fantasizing not only about hot women he could never have, but also that he probably wouldn’t know how to please anyway. Sigh.
    You just don’t get it, do you. Don’t be jealous of Sam, you could learn a thing or two from her.

  19. Jimbo

    Hippocrit

  20. Mcfeely Smackup

    I think a lot of people are missing the point that the vast majority of gay people, men AND women, are going about their lives with very little interest in defining themselves as gay first and everything else second. They’re just normal people with normal relationships that happen to be same sex.

    Imagine if someone said “hey, you’re heterosexual, you MUST go to meat-market clubs or you’re selling out your hetero brothers!”.

    Grow the fuck up

  21. kelley

    Isn’t that cute, Lindsay and her fake eyelashes out holding hands with her “girlfriend.” What is the world coming to ?? I bet she’s dead before age 30 anyways; likewise for her washed out friend.

  22. Linds can screw anyone she wants, she’s a grown woman, I just think she could have picked a better looking person. And no, not me. My motto is “live and let live”. Oh, and “if this pill doesn’t kill me, it shall make me stronger”

  23. on golden blonde

    Can’t someone just beat the freckles off of her face? I’m sick of those two scumbags

  24. Jim

    “the vast majority of gay people, men AND women, are going about their lives with very little interest in defining themselves as gay first and everything else second.”

    Yeah right. Reciting propaganda doesn’t make something true. Gay people are OBSESSED with their gay identities and you know it. I’m not judging, I think it’s inevitable, because realizing that they’re different from most people in a very basic aspect of life is a big deal and certainly the biggest deal in their lives. But stop pretending it’s otherwise, nobody buys it.

    Fact: gay clubs have declined in popularity because the internet has made it much easier to meet other gay people discretely, and if they have alternatives, nobody wants to deal with the obnoxious flamboyant types who go to gay clubs to show off. Apparently Ronson agrees. Good for her. Him. It. Whatever.

  25. Vol

    Never mind this nonsense…did you know that the Dems are running an OREO for President??

  26. Andrea

    #18 – Sofia – spare us the gender-as-a-construct lecture. We’ve all been forced to hear it already and it’s as tiresome and invalid as your comment.

  27. Lov

    Never mind this nonsense…did you know that the Repugs are running an ALZHEIMERS PATIENT for President??

  28. Bull Dyke

    Cut the shit. If you LOVE to lick pussy, you’re a lesbian. If you have any desire to have a man ram his cock into you, you most definitely ARE NOT a lesbian.

    These days “being a lesbian” is fashionable and I wish I could punch all the posers in the face. Lindsay is a needy psycho, not a lesbian.

  29. Vol

    Ted Kennedy is running as the Repub President?

  30. Ovl

    Never mind this nonsense…did you know that the indepents have Ralph Nader and the Repugs finance his campaign to take away democratic voters?
    Somehow this is legal?

    According to Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington — whose name sounds as if Nader could once have been its founder — the Nader presidential campaign received illicit assistance for its petition drive in Oregon last weekend from two local conservative organizations, which were “encouraged” by President Bush’s campaign committee.

    Repugs surely are crooked murderers aren’t they?

  31. Speach Disorder

    Lindsay talks with a lisp now, so we all know she’s gay. Just listen to that clip from the gayish radio station last night.

  32. Id love to see Lindsay lip bumping,,,not sure i want to see that, with this Pete Doherty look alike…

  33. Max Planck

    Can you hand me another of those air sickness bags… this one is full.

  34. Max Planck

    Can you hand me another of those air sickness bags… this one is full?

  35. I’m Ted Kennedy and I approve of Sarah Palin.

  36. Slut

    #20 I hear what you are saying, but if Samantha Ronson didn’t want to act gay then why the hell does she do herself up to look like a man?

  37. Is it me or does it look like Sam shops at the Zack Morris thrift store?

    http://www.cafepress.com/angryrobotwear

  38. HughJorgan

    Hey Sarah Palin I think we’ve found the “Bush” doctrine.

  39. Bigo

    Samlesbo, when are going to wash those dirty pants??? They must stink!!

  40. ENOUGH ALREADY

    Here’s an idea:

    Why don’t you cocksucking assholes take your political comments, put a light coating of 30 weight on them, and stick them up your asses SIDEWAYS.

  41. Slut

    #37 that is some funny shit….you are my hero

  42. Politics

    #40 you sound disinterested in the fate of your country. I guess the fate of the world is not very fascinating .

  43. JJ

    This is a scam. LL is too attractive and her tits are too nice to be a lesbian.

  44. devilsrain

    1. FCGSZDFG. …You do realize youre the biggest loser right?

  45. Maniacfive

    Surely this is a good thing for the gay club. Now they can ask someone whose actually good to DJ?

  46. Mistik

    2 words:
    Plain REDICOULOUS!!!

  47. Huh

    #46:

    One question: “REDICOULOUS”???

  48. Turd Ferguson

    I din’t think little boys could get into lesbian clubs anyway.

    Bwahh-ha-ha-ha!

    Man, that thing is fugly!

  49. ENOUGH ALREADY

    @42

    I do care about the fate of the world, but see, the thing is, if I and others here want to read politics and political comments, we’ll go to a site that hosts that type of material.

    This however is not such a place. This is a place for bikinis. For tits. For ass, and Jennifer Aniston in yet another bikini. It’s a place for ridiculing Britney Spears, teh Lohan and Amy Winehouse, and for the occasional disturbing photographs of male underwear models.

    So again I say “Fuck the assholes that just have to post political comments where they DO NOT BELONG.”

  50. Oral Roberts

    Let us pray for these two, for they have fallen short of Gods expectations.

    Amen

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