Samantha Ronson is Stealing Our White Women

October 19th, 2010 // 66 Comments

Just when you thought you had a crack at the now-single Christina Aguilera, word continues to pour in that Samantha Ronson already has her scorpion hooks in her because lesbians really have those. (A kid on the bus told me.) Not only was Sam spotted leaving Christina’s house the day she announced her separation from Jordan Bratman, the two have been spending a lot of time together much to the chagrin of Lindsay Lohan, according to TooFab, a site I can only assume was birthed nine months after Harvey Levin and Perez Hilton woke up in a bathtub full of Appletinis:

“Christina’s been friends with Sam for a while, like they all went to Cabo in September with Nicole Richie, but they were hanging out a lot more in recent months, and they created a new posse of girls that Christina hung out with, so it started to be really frustrating for Jordan, that she had this relationship with these girls, but particularly this close one with Sam,” the source tells TooFab. “Jordan was feeling less than a man. It seemed like she was more interested in hanging out with Sam than him. This had been going on for several months.”
As an aside, the source tells TooFab that Ronson’s ex, Lindsay Lohan, was also unnerved by her relationship with Aguilera, 29. “It caused a lot of problems with Lohan and Sam. Before [Lohan] went into rehab, she was really frustrated with her relationship with Sam because of the Aguilera thing. She was extremely jealous.”

Before everyone jumps to wild conclusions here, let’s examine all the facts first:

1. Samantha Ronson loves large breasts forged in the fires of Disney.
2. Christina Aguilera is legally blind. (See: Impregnation by Jordan Bratman.)
3. God is a sick bastard.

…. So when’s the wedding?

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. Dave ain't here man

    What a waste of a blonde.

  2. josette

    god, she’s so fucking ugly.

  3. joski

    What the hell, who is this Samantha cunt. Should I know who she is? She literally looks like a spitting image of a dyke.

    • Facbook me

      Exactly she is a dyke. S he is DJ at the “fancy” celeb clubs in LA; former girlfriend of Lindsay Lohan before she went total ape-shit on this fug-dyke.

  4. Taz

    Someone should die if this is true

  5. Samantha Ronson
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s either access to incredibly strong street drugs and/or superior cunnilingus skillz. I don’t know what else can explain it.
    Men must be gnashing their teeth over this.

  6. Ohhh man hope theres a sex tape on the horizon… Dont sweat it lindsay ill give u that baby that sam couldnt.

    • Sucks2BU

      …..you’re only 14, you can’t even go to the toilet without pissing on your shoes. HOW the fuck are you supposed to be able to give her a “baby”?

  7. dude

    I can always comfort myself in the fact that Ronson is a miserable person, as evidenced in this (and every other) photo of her.

    And is this her with Jenna Jameson?

    On a related note, nice headline fish. Almost spit out my lunchtime bourbon when I read it.

  8. Samantha Ronson
    dude
    Commented on this photo:

    world’s ugliest bitch

  9. Samantha Ronson
    boOO
    Commented on this photo:

    pata flaca chochua , con lo rico que es la maceta hahahahha

  10. Samantha Ronson
    boOO
    Commented on this photo:

    viva viva the pene!!!! you skinny ugly lesbo… go away

  11. Facbook me

    Jenna jameson looks like a HOTT mess in this picture & truthfully anymore these days..

    Is she also going to be following Xtina & leave Tito too? Guaranteed she’ll come out of retirement & get it on film!

  12. Jill

    That Samantha is one skanky, angry, rich girl (oh yeah, british, lesbo, too). Yikes.

  13. Heyzeus Hosay

    why all the hatin’? she hasn’t stole any good-lookin’ whiteys yet.

    i guarantee she’s doin’ something right tho….

  14. Reginald T. Rockstrow

    Maybe the white women youd date.

    She has the same taste as black guys…a penchant for mentally unstable, borderline overweight, fake blondes with shipwrecked faces.

    Go Team! Take up all the ones that those with taste class wouldnt touch.

  15. Lady Blah Blah

    Wigger poser, flashing gang signs, even though her class background and present socioeconomic status aren’t REMOTELY akin to that of inner city blacks and gang members. Mom was a socialite, dad a music executive and real-estate entrepreneur.

  16. is samantha ronson really suave or something? i don’t get it. bitch must have good game.

    • Sheena

      That MUST be it – because that face would stop a train. ‘Course, Christina had to have had sex with that Bratman guy at least once, so she must have built up a serious tolerance to fugly.

  17. Urbanspaceman

    These are not the sort of lesbians that self-loathing straight guys fantasize about, are they?

  18. ad nasuem

    If you are Lesbian and you are attracted to girls, why do you pick the most “dude-ish” looking chic like Ronson? Why not date a hot chic? X-Tina is secretly hoping to find a cock when she pulls Ronsons pants down.

  19. KC

    Sam’s the Wilmer Valderrama of lesbians.

  20. Rough skills & power tools

    Interesting! will Aguilera morph into that brand new lesbo glow that express to hetero males to eff off “penises repulse me”…I for one is excited to see this, or not…

  21. Samantha Ronson
    elliottspitzer
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn! That bitch get’s more pussy than Peter North … wish I had her dick (sigh).

  22. slapkatyperry

    AAAAAAAHHHHHH! KILL IT WITH FIRE!

  23. Ismoss

    Jesus, whats the sense of being a lesbo if your gonna date girls that look like ugly guys? Unless maybe you like the smell of tuna?

  24. Drew

    If I looked like Christina Aguilera, I’d be eating hotter dic.. I mean pussy than Ronsons.

  25. Um…that’s not Christina Aguilera, that’s Jenna Jameson. Or did you just pick a fucking picture at random to illustrate the headline and happened to accidentally get one with Ronson in it?

    While we’re on the subject, exactly WHO is Ronson attractive to? She’s not feminine in the slightest, so that rules out every man and the lipstick lesbians, she doesn’t look manly so that rules out the butch dykes. She’s just skinny and ugly…whose fetish is THAT?

  26. Ivan

    I am now confused, maybe prison doctor tell me I need new glasses. Yesterday same girl was here called Bieber, today called Ronson. I tap no matter what the name, better than my cellmate!

  27. The ONLY HETERO in this Joint

    I’m speechless. I am without speech. First Jordan Bratman now this hideous gargoyle? I mean what the fuck: Is this some quest to sex up every ugly human on Planet Earth?

    (If so: Christina; call me. No – seriously. Call me.)

  28. farthammer

    white? aguillera is a beaner. sorry.

  29. cc

    She looks a bit like Billy Bob Thornton’s character in Slingblade.

    Or a skinny, white M Night Shyamalan.

  30. I wish someone would buy that rat a different facial expression. The “NOW WHAT?!” ever-scowl is fucking old now.

  31. Deano

    Seriously if she is getting aguilera as well as having had Lohan ….she’s my hero … and I hate my life!!

  32. Randal(l)

    Her timing is off by a few years, but Samantha pulls some (formerly) quality ladies. Kudos Sammy, Kudos

  33. JPX

    Sam Ronson just might be the ugliest (and I use the term loosely) female I’ve ever seen in my life. I struggle to understand her appeal on any level.

  34. Racer X

    Is she the ONLY white lesbian available for celebrities in the whole country?

  35. Bunny Foofoo

    Is “angry dyke” the only look samantha ronson has? it looks like she has perpetual pms.

  36. RasputinsLiver

    *

    WHOA!

    Ronson’s one ugly excuse for even a bull dyke! Bitch looks like she’s on meth!

    Goddamn fugly critter….

    *

  37. Samantha Ronson
    yowillie12
    Commented on this photo:

    Frightening.

  38. Samantha Ronson
    yowillie12
    Commented on this photo:

    Yummy

  39. atlanta

    Samantha ronson is fucking sexy, i would totally go gay for her

  40. sobrietyisacrutch

    Look at that face. It’s called “scoring through fear”:
    Sam: “You better fuck me bitch or I’ll kill you!”
    White chick: “OK! OK! Here! Take it! Just PLEASE let me live…”
    Or in Lindsey’s case:
    “I WILL get that 8-ball, right?”

  41. marcus

    what’s up with lohan’s face? she looks like a chuck jones character

  42. Samantha Ronson
    phoar
    Commented on this photo:

    WTH do they not have eyes?

  43. TJ

    So why are white women going gay………

  44. captain america

    yep, unfortunately alot of american women just snoore the white stuff-cocaine.

  45. stevebeagle

    i dont get it.. i mean, if you “supposedly” like girls, what the fuck is the attraction to something that looks like a little old jewish man ?

  46. Samantha Ronson
    Lindy
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s cute!
    And it’s not all about looks if you love someone.

  47. terryo

    Sam is lucky person! Christina is the ultimate babe!!

  48. Samantha Ronson
    Mel Gibson's Shrink
    Commented on this photo:

    Actually, she’s kind of cute. If she dressed like a woman, had a normal haircut, and wore make-up nice, she could be hot.

  49. Samantha Ronson
    Tommy Lee's Cock
    Commented on this photo:

    I FINALLY GET WHY LINDSAY KEEPS GOING BACK TO THIS DYKE! SHE LOOKS LIKE MICHAEL LOHAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DADDY ISSUES!

  50. Samantha Ronson
    dunecat
    Commented on this photo:

    agreed, she’s actually pretty cute.

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