Sam Lutfi talks funny

February 5th, 2008 // 56 Comments

Sam Luffernutter isn’t sweating the latest restraining order that Britney’s dad leveled against him. In fact, he shared his thoughts with Us Magazine and, as are his ways, got all over-dramatic about it:

“It won’t last,” he told Usmagazine.com shortly after yesterday’s hearing, during which a court ordered Britney Spears to have no further contact — direct or indirect — with him.
Of Spears parents, Jamie and Lynne, Lutfi added, “They’re never gonna be able to rule her forever.”

And, yay, did Sam of Lufmalutti verily ride his steed into yonder distance and proclaim his devotion to vanquish the elder Spears’ rule and free his fair maiden. Henceforth did The Superficial Writer cease caring and forged a sandwich. And it was of righteous ham and mustard creating a thirst for ale which he drank mightily until a dragon reared his fiery head and request to be drained. But, woe, was The Superficial Writer not ready to break yon seal. Lamentations!

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Comments (56)

  1. Holly | February 5, 2008 at 12:05 pm

    LOL at this story

    Reply
  2. Jrz | February 5, 2008 at 12:08 pm

    Is it a requirement that all her male hangers on have pussy chin?

    Reply
  3. p0nk | February 5, 2008 at 12:11 pm

    #2 yes. rule #37 of the Spears Jihadists explicitly states ‘pussy chin’ as part of the jihadist uniform.

    Reply
  4. Califlame | February 5, 2008 at 12:17 pm

    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!! Holy Shite that is one of the funniest posts I’ve ever read. BRAVO.

    Reply
  5. Snarf | February 5, 2008 at 12:18 pm

    This guy should hangout with Kim K.

    Reply
  6. Captain Fucktard | February 5, 2008 at 12:20 pm

    Fiery? Are you having some problems Fish?

    Reply
  7. Annabel | February 5, 2008 at 12:21 pm

    Very funny post.

    Reply
  8. D. Richards | February 5, 2008 at 12:22 pm

    The court can’t keep a good schizophrenic down forever.

    What balls Lufthansa has.

    P.S. Ficial, you forgot the part where Sam Lufti rides one of Britney’s white Mercedes to the castle where Britney is being imprisoned to beckon Britney to let down her labia so he can spelunk his way up, and deliver her funyuns. And get his dick sucked.

    Reply
  9. Auntie Kryst | February 5, 2008 at 12:22 pm

    The Superficial scribe doth make merriment about Lutfi the Mohamadan. Huzzah!

    Reply
  10. The Office Whore | February 5, 2008 at 12:23 pm

    you’ve got a little something… right…th….oh, sorry, it’s nothing.

    Reply
  11. louley | February 5, 2008 at 12:28 pm

    I kinda love that you’re getting weirder and weirder these days. It suits you.

    Now, back to the ass, please.

    Reply
  12. FRIST!!! | February 5, 2008 at 12:34 pm

    until a dragon reared his fiery head and request to be drained…what does that even mean? Nevermind. I get it.

    Reply
  13. woodhorse | February 5, 2008 at 12:36 pm

    When I saw Adnan’s 12-yr-old-skater/cockatiel hairdo, I wondered why Britney didn’t choose Sam over Adnan. Then someone posted that Sam is gay and I still wondered why Britney didn’t choose Sam over Adnan.

    And, Fish, keep up the sexy medieval talk.

    Reply
  14. Auto-Erotic-Asphixiation | February 5, 2008 at 12:40 pm

    The Brit-father is taking over the families concerns …….
    Sammy The Bull is out ……
    Adnan The Geek ….I mean ….Adnan The Greek …. is out
    Jammie Lynn The Whore is …… on vacation in an undisclosed country
    The Brit-Father’s wife is still wandering around trying to get Hollywood to remember SHE is the ’0riginal-Village-Idiot ‘ And ………………
    SOMEWHERE ……. the boy is in bed a floggin his dong … patiently awaiting his turn at fukdumb.

    I would say The Brit-Father has things under semi-control (finally)

    Reply
  15. OlderMom_1959 | February 5, 2008 at 12:40 pm

    Thanks, Johnny is doing fine. He wants to play division 1 soccer next year so hes not at the bars at least. LMOA Does anyone have a recipe for a low salt potato salad? I have to get off cuz i am washing windows in the garage today lol!

    Reply
  16. The Laughing God | February 5, 2008 at 12:42 pm

    I hope these two star crossed lovers come together against all odds.

    Reply
  17. woodhorse | February 5, 2008 at 12:46 pm

    @15 Fish hates you and he said for you to never come back here.

    Reply
  18. D. Richards (Sadist.) | February 5, 2008 at 12:51 pm

    #15? Fuck, lady, what are you talking about? Is this a joke?

    Reply
  19. meh | February 5, 2008 at 12:53 pm

    #15-Is that you Britney? I didn’t know they allowed you to have access to the internet in the nuthouse.

    Reply
  20. Auntie Kryst | February 5, 2008 at 12:54 pm

    @15 good character, it’s funny. Keep it up. “LMOA” nice and subtle, very funny.

    Reply
  21. salty potato | February 5, 2008 at 12:56 pm

    15- stop putting c u m in it.

    Reply
  22. Sid | February 5, 2008 at 12:57 pm

    …and then 50 Cent told Sam to get the fuck off the stage. That was the best part.

    Reply
  23. Kim | February 5, 2008 at 12:59 pm

    #15 is the best comment EVER, and yes #19, I do believe it’s Britney herself!! “The garage” is the arts & crafts room in the ward!

    Reply
  24. FRIST!!! | February 5, 2008 at 12:59 pm

    #15, that WAS funny!

    Reply
  25. deaconjones | February 5, 2008 at 12:59 pm

    I’d give my left nut just to be with him. One night. That’s all I need. I’d fix his potato salad right up. Chunks and all!

    Reply
  26. )lderwhore_1959 | February 5, 2008 at 1:00 pm

    Yes. Johnny likes to cruise the bars for fresh young boys and lick the salt off of them. Thanks for asking! Have to watch the salt! Division 1 soccer will cure that. I am such an alcoholic, washing my windows and dreaming of potato salad. Does anyone have windows for my washing?

    Reply
  27. Jimbo | February 5, 2008 at 1:01 pm

    #15 – I want to fuck you. And Johnny.

    Reply
  28. Olderwhore_1959 | February 5, 2008 at 1:02 pm

    Yes. Johnny likes to cruise the bars for fresh young boys and lick the salt off of them. Thanks for asking! Have to watch the salt! Division 1 soccer will cure that. I am such an alcoholic, washing my windows and dreaming of potato salad. Does anyone have windows for my washing?

    Reply
  29. Olderwhore_1959 | February 5, 2008 at 1:03 pm

    Yes. Johnny likes to cruise the bars for fresh young boys and lick the salt off of them. Thanks for asking! Have to watch the salt! Division 1 soccer will cure that. I am such an alcoholic, washing my windows and dreaming of potato salad. Does anyone have windows for my washing?

    Reply
  30. Auntie Kryst | February 5, 2008 at 1:04 pm

    OlderMom’s first comment from the Britney story. Good stuff!

    Reply
  31. Willy Wonka's Wonk-Eye Factory | February 5, 2008 at 1:05 pm

    You know that grumbling sound your stomach makes right before your going to have explosive diarrheah?

    I got that.

    Reply
  32. Finch | February 5, 2008 at 1:19 pm

    @15 Are you Stifflers Mom?

    Reply
  33. huh | February 5, 2008 at 1:20 pm

    15–apparently this was funny, someone please explain this to me

    Reply
  34. Finch | February 5, 2008 at 1:24 pm

    @33 Apparently you are intellectually stunted and can not appreciate the humor of a mature woman. I am sure you still drink your wine from a screw top bottle..

    Reply
  35. Rat | February 5, 2008 at 1:26 pm

    How come all these arab faggots always have pussy chins!

    Reply
  36. burgernoodle | February 5, 2008 at 2:20 pm

    nice work, young lad. funny post of ’08 yet. YET.

    Reply
  37. burgernoodle | February 5, 2008 at 2:24 pm

    seriously, i want to barf all over his landing strip. now there’s absolutely no way to tell these two losers apart.

    Reply
  38. me | February 5, 2008 at 2:25 pm

    Post was hilarious! But yea i’m with # 33. What is #15 talking about!! We want to laugh too.

    Reply
  39. Shift | February 5, 2008 at 3:10 pm

    Funny or not, I have decided that from now on I am scrolling right by every Britney “Train Wreck” Spears post. It seems that every day the majority of the posts are about her and, frankly, unless she gets hit by a bus and launched straight into the center of a tire fire, I don’t want to hear about her or the disaster that is her life.

    Reply
  40. Shift | February 5, 2008 at 3:10 pm

    Funny or not, I have decided that from now on I am scrolling right by every Britney “Train Wreck” Spears post. It seems that every day the majority of the posts are about her and, frankly, unless she gets hit by a bus and launched straight into the center of a tire fire, I don’t want to hear about her or the disaster that is her life.

    Reply
  41. jessiemee | February 5, 2008 at 4:11 pm

    I love him. he was said to be found of internet recently. Some of his fans found him on a millionaire&celebs dating club “SearchingMillionaire.com”.
    he has a personal account there with hot pictures, blog and something about his songs and new album.

    Reply
  42. causeyourhot.com | February 5, 2008 at 4:34 pm

    Get your save Britney t-shirt

    causeyourhot.com

    SAVE BRITNEY

    Reply
  43. negroes kill | February 5, 2008 at 5:30 pm

    Effing sand n1gger.

    Reply
  44. tom petty and the lipsinkers | February 5, 2008 at 8:34 pm

    Sam the parasite represents what Hollywood is all about, exploitation, deviance, extortion, self absorbsion, and usery…..what the fuck, relative to Hollywood he is just a normal person….why all the Hoopla?

    Down in Hollywood they’re goin…”"so I’d drug and rape Britanny too if I could , what the big deal”?? I do that to chicks all the time..Hey man lets do another line of your coke OK”.

    Reply
  45. Caligulita | February 6, 2008 at 12:59 am

    I never LOL’d at your comments before this. Would you like to go to a RenFaire sometime?

    Reply
  46. Beth | February 6, 2008 at 5:34 am

    In every photo I see britney with his she looks so unhappy.

    Reply
  47. mark454 | February 6, 2008 at 5:38 am

    What a loser he is! Slim ball to take control over Brit like that.

    Reply
  48. grrrrrr | February 6, 2008 at 7:29 am

    someone shoot him already

    Reply
  49. huh again | February 6, 2008 at 11:08 am

    34–so i guess you’re not gonna tell me what the joke was…thanks. and no i’m not intellectually stunted. I don’t see how not seeing the humor in someone’s comment indicates my intelligence. jerk!

    Reply
  50. got_milf? | February 6, 2008 at 4:10 pm

    Mmmmmm! Potato salad!
    LOL! Pussy chin….LMAO

    Reply

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