Sam Lutfi robbed Britney Spears

Britney’s father Jamie Spears had given a signed declaration to the court during his efforts to become conservatorship of Britney’s affairs. In it he detailed his visit with Britney on Sunday, where he let her know that items were stolen from her house. Osama “Sam” Lutfi was the culprit. Britney wasn’t surprised, according to OK! Magazine:

“She asked me to help get it back. I told her that I would,” Jamie said. Earlier this week, a police report was filed claiming “valuable possessions” were taken from Britney’s house sometime between the time the pop star was admitted to UCLA’s psych ward and the conservatorship papers were signed.

According to the declaration, Jamie and Britney also reached an understanding about who exactly was keeping her in the hospital:

Britney then became upset, claiming “someone was lying to her” about who was keeping her at UCLA. Jamie said, “No, I’m not keeping you here.” A nurse came in to tell Brit that the hospital was keeping her there, not her dad.

Meanwhile, deep in his secret cave, Sam Luf Laden checks his eBay auction. Damn! Still no bids for the bronzed bucket of chicken he stole off Britney’s mantle. C’mon! Where’s a grave to piss on when you need one?